


Spectrum of Light

by bulletsfrank, themurderscene



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Autistic Yuchan, Best Friends, Deepthroating, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Orphan Yuchan, Protective Byeongkwan, Romantic Fluff, Selective Mute Sehyoon, Sweet/Hot, True Love, autistic sehyoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 75,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletsfrank/pseuds/bulletsfrank, https://archiveofourown.org/users/themurderscene/pseuds/themurderscene
Summary: i’ll be your calmand you’ll be my voicea pearl clasped in my palma feeling without a choicei’ll be your oneand you’ll be my twoa boy just like the suna love that’s just like you
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan/Kim Sehyoon | Wow
Kudos: 16





	Spectrum of Light

**Author's Note:**

> both of the people who wrote this are autistic.  
> adapted from a roleplay (channie and sehyoon respectably)

Being in the system your whole life wasn't exactly the greatest thing ever, but Yuchan found that it was better than being alone.  
The foster house that Channie had come to call home for the past four years was owned by a nice but rather traditional couple, and had had a multitude of children come and go; a couple of them, Channie included, were still around after so many years—all of them, like him, on the spectrum, dropped off at this place to be less of a burden on their parents. Channie was one of the lucky ones in that his parents had died as opposed to just abandoning him, but he tried to keep that to himself... some of the kids could be vindictive, as he'd found out. He had had one friend for a few years named Byeongkwan, who was a year older than him; they still kept in touch after he left the system to live on his own, getting a job and going to school to better himself, and they had plans to live together once Channie's birthday came around—that wasn't for another six months, though. In the meantime, he had decided to try taking behavioural classes after school in order to better prepare himself for college, the closest one being at a university that was, thankfully, on his bus route. He told his foster parents that he was taking a tutoring course at school, since they didn't really believe in the whole autism thing, even though his severe ADHD was extremely apparent in literally everything he did—at home, tried to keep it to himself, as impossible as that was, but he managed well enough to not get in trouble every day. However, he knew that that would never fly when it came to something like college and a job, so, on the day that the class started, he met up with Kwannie on his break after school and the elder bought him dinner, as well as gave him a small sliding phone so that they could keep in touch without his foster parents having to read their texts—they'd learned to talk in code because of that. "You didn't have to do this, Kwannie, but thanks!" He said, sliding the phone up and down with wide eyes—he'd never owned his own phone before, so this was _really_ cool. "I like the little keychain! What is it, a cat? Did I ever tell you about the time I found that cat in the bushes at my old foster house that had all the babies? I wanted to keep them so bad but they—oh and they always locked the fridge, too, I—"  
"Channie," Byeongkwan interrupted, booping him on the noise with a french fry, making him blink and stop playing with the phone; the older boy was smiling and shaking his head, plopping the fry in his mouth before putting all of his half-eaten food in the paper bag it'd come in. "My break's over, and you haven't even touched your food, dummy," He said with a laugh in his tone, and as Channie looked down at his bag and his stomach growled, he realised that Byeongkwan was right—whoops. "You're welcome for the phone and the food, but you need to get going."  
"Sorry!" Yuchan responded, snatching up his bag and standing, his phone being shoved in his pocket; when they were face-to-face, Kwannie pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek, ruffling his hair a bit after they pulled away. Beaming, Channie did the same, then turned on his heel and booked it out of the restaurant, shouting over his shoulder, "Love you!"  
He was running late, but not by much, so he wasn't too worried as he ran across the street to the university that his class was at, heading for the second building; this place had been recommended to him by his special ed teacher last year, but he hadn't signed up due to lack of money, so he was really fortunate that Byeongkwan had offered to pay for it as an early, early birthday gift... Kwannie was always so nice to him, he loved him a lot…  
By the time he'd gotten out of his own head, he was stood outside the classroom with a guest pass on his shirt, his name written in block letters in the empty space; he blinked a couple times and opened the door, stepping into the large classroom to find only a couple people there, but lots of empty chairs at the half a dozen or so tables that were set up—the teacher didn't appear to be here yet, as the desk at the front was empty, but there was a laptop and lots of papers, as well as boxes of toys and other miscellaneous objects on top of it. He played with the zipper of his windbreaker and stood there, trying to figure out if he should sit down or not, when one of the people at the front who'd apparently been watching him—a guy with long brown hair in a small ponytail with puppy dog eyes—told him, "Stop just standing there, you have an ass to sit down with, don't you?"  
Yuchan jumped a bit and yelped a "sorry!" as he quickly shuffled over to a table in the back that had one guy sitting at it, his gaze far and away out of the window with a sketchbook open in front of him, his pencil held languidly between his fingers; for a second, Channie wasn't sure if he should sit near him, since he seemed to want to be alone considering he was sitting in the way back, but before he could truly think, he pulled the chair out, turned it around, and sat down, still playing with his zipper.  
He was anxious, and as a result, felt the insatiable urge to talk, driving him to say to no one in particular, "Man, it's really quiet in here, but I could've sworn I was late, so where are all the people? And the teacher too?"

sehyoon wanted to become a singer.  
he knew that was a dream that didn’t hold any probability, especially not with his relatively recent diagnosis — he knew he was... _different,_ that wasn’t any secret, but learning he was autistic explained a lot; he’d been working to put himself through college since, attending behavioral therapy and a class on campus to help him maybe snap out of his endless string of losing friendships and job opportunities due to his non-verbal nature. it was a relatively small class, one that was barely ever attended by anyone who really needed it, the most people sehyoon had ever seen show up being a handful of misfits coming for the first time; even though he couldn’t tell if it was even helping him at all, he saw it as an opportunity to be in an environment that didn’t demand too much of him, especially because he got enough of that at work — he was a day cleaner at a clinic, one that housed a lot of people who yelled at him for the speed or quality of which he did his job, leaving his relationship with his manager pulled very taut, consequently instilling an anxiety into him of losing his job. yeah, the college he attended wasn’t amazing, but he was able to come here by himself without needing the assistance of his parents or friends, and for that, it was enough for him.  
it wasn’t any different of a day today, the classroom filled with only about three people, all of whom he knew; one was lee donghun, someone he’d seen around campus in the past couple years — they were alike in how far in their credit collection they were, meaning they knew one another on a surface level, even if they’d never spoken. well, not that sehyoon would, anyway, but he didn’t think donghun knew even that much about him, he seemed to be more interested in his own issues and work. the other was min yoongi, and sehyoon only knew that from hearing role call; he was quiet like him, but that was the extent of what he knew besides that he liked music, and it was apparent in how he was always scribbling in his notebook and stimming by drumming rhythms on the table, much to the dismay of the teacher, and apparently all of his other professors. then the third was kang yeosang, a newer attendee, although to say that sehyoon knew him was a stretch with how little they’d interacted, which was close to never — sehyoon had picked up a stack of books for him the first day he showed up, and they were promptly snatched away from his grasp into the blond’s, making his vision go red and head snap in a shake, the reaction confirming to him that _okay, maybe don’t sit next to him._  
sehyoon could list all of them, as he was very observant. he just had a knack for remembering names and faces, so when the room was interrupted with a new, fresh face, his attention stood as the door was creaked open, a tall, lanky boy with dark hair like his own, standing like he didn’t know where to be; he was immediately scolded by donghun, making sehyoon’s attention snap to look out the window, his pen being dangled between his fingers as he fought not to tap or twirl it too much. then, before he could return his attention back to his drawing, he was being spoken to by said new person, his own wide eyes blinking as he turned his head to look — _oh, he was really close to him. why?_  
then he offered a shrug and a wave of his hand, not sure if he was being talked to or not, but he didn’t want donghun or yeosang to ream the new kid, that wouldn’t be fair.

Motion in the corner of his vision had Channie turning to look at the guy next to him, seeing him shrug and wave a hand, as though responding; he took a second to take him in, big black eyes staring him down and longish, blue-black hair that wisped out at the ends catching the light behind him, making it look as though he had a halo. His skin was dark, likely from the late fall sun, and his plaid shirt was fitted around his shoulders, showing off his thicker frame—he was _handsome,_ and before Channie could stop himself, he stated, eyes going slightly wide, "Wow, you're really beautiful. You have really pretty eyes!"  
His attention then darted down to his open sketchbook and he leaned over, tugging it a bit closer so he could see, "You draw? Oh, these are really good, you're really talented!"

sehyoon didn’t know how to respond to the boy getting closer to him and saying that, making his own heart skip in his chest and his breathing shudder as his mouth fell open, as if he was going to say anything; he couldn’t, he was way too dumbfounded, and as the other started to let his eyes drag over the drawings on his paper, sehyoon shook his head, holding up a hand to cover them. _he never showed anyone his drawings…_ it usually wasn’t a problem because he sat in the back and no one ever approached him, and he scarcely understood why he was being talked to let alone having his space invaded like this, his stomach turning upside down as he took his sketchbook back to himself, squeaking out a strange whine of discontentment. it’s not that he was scared, but his expression didn’t exactly help, his eyebrows spooning and heart beating hard. _when was the last time someone talked more than three words to him that wasn’t a scold?_

The little sound the other male made, coupled with him shuffling to close his sketchbook had Yuchan cocking his head, a brow raising in slight confusion—did he not like his art or something? He had an expression that seemed to read scared, which probably meant that Channie was being overbearing again... but he really liked his art... "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Hey, what's your name? I'm Yuchan, I go to the high school down the road. Are you a student here? You seem like you're old enough. I'm probably gonna go to school here when I graduate, my friend Byeongkwan works across the street and he's gonna let me live with him when I leave the system, he gave me this phone, do you want to see? I've never had my own phone before, my foster parents—"  
The other person that was here, a blond guy that was almost as pretty as the one he was sitting next to, turned around in his seat with a start and barked, "Do you ever shut up?"  
Channie stiffened and clutched his phone that he'd dug out of his pocket tighter, squeaking a bit in surprise—whoops, he'd started rambling. _Fuck,_ he was already making a bad impression. "Sorry!"

even though he couldn’t understand why this person — yuchan, his name was, apparently — was talking to him with such overbearing words, sehyoon wasn’t annoyed, just merely taken off guard, confused and with a lump in his throat as an idea popped into his head, the tip of his pen tapping the paper to draw the other boy’s attention to it so he could write, _’my name is sehyoon. don’t worry about him, he’s mean’_. then he looked up at the younger boy, truly taking in his features as he did so; his eyes were dark and his skin was, too, his hair cut straight but parted in the middle — he definitely looked like a high school student, which might have explained his lack of awareness, if only half of the way. pursing his lips and buzzing a hum, sehyoon got closer to his sketchbook with a hunching of his back, flipping a page to then draw a small picture of a shirt, underneath it saying, _‘i like your jacket’._

Yuchan was ripped out of his thoughts via the guy tapping his pen on his sketchbook, his incessant stimming of his zipper still the only sound in the room as he looked towards him, then down at the paper to see him writing. _Sehyoon, huh?_ Not exactly a common name, but it was pretty, just like—"Just like you! I mean, your name, it's pretty." _He was getting ahead of himself._ He shook his head and continued reading, nodding as he took in the second part of what Sehyoon had said, looking up at him with a bright smile; the mode of communication wasn't jarring, as one of the kids he'd been fostered with had been mute from birth, so they talked a lot of the time through their little notebook—however, Sehyoon had made noises earlier, so maybe he just didn't like to talk? The other people here didn't seem to appreciate noise, so instead, he swung his backpack off to dig a pencil out, procuring it with a quiet "there it is", then scribbling down, _'Thank you it's my favourite cause of the zippers, I drive my foster siblings crazy by playing with them hehehe. i like your drawing you seem really cool'_

_pretty…_ sehyoon had never been called that before, nor had he been called handsome by anyone besides his late grandmother or maybe his mom a couple times, so he smiled softly, scratching the back of his neck as he shook his head and mumbled a _‘shhshh’_ sound, clicking and unclicking his pen as he read what channie had written. _huh... foster siblings._ for some reason that made sehyoon’s heart lurch behind his ribs, a tinge of guilt following it. then he took the notebook back to himself to write, _‘thank you. i don’t show other people my drawings because i usually sit alone here.’_ then he contemplated tacking on something about yuchan’s foster parents, but opted against it, instead just drawing a small frowny face after his message.

Making a little sad face, Channie reached out and patted Sehyoon's shoulder, then wrote, _'well you wont sit alone from now on I'll sit next to you!'_  
Then, after a second, he changed Sehyoon's sad face to a surprised one, adding little exclamation points around the head and a chat box that said "new friend omg!!"  
Smiling up at him, he began stimming with his zipper again, his right hand flat on the table atop his pencil, waiting for Sehyoon to respond with expectant eyes; he really did have such pretty eyes, not to mention the fact that he seemed rather embarrassed from the compliments, his cheeks and tips of his ears turning a dark pink, very obvious due to the tone of his skin— _cute._ Yuchan had always known that he was gay, even though he didn't really think or care about it, so, without really thinking about it too much, he quickly scribbled down, _'are you gay?'_

the sentiment made sehyoon a bit anxious; well, more than a _bit_ — he’d never had a friend before, not since he was very young, but the gesture of yuchan making his drawing into something happy so easily had his smile only widening, his face undoubtedly immensely red. he was easy to fluster, and as the younger stared at him expectantly after asking that out of the blue question, sehyoon stiffened some, a choked whine accidentally slipping past his lips as he shook his head — _wait, no, that would mean he was denying it…_ honestly, he’d never thought about whether or not he was gay, mostly because he didn’t exactly get close to people or pursue romance, so it was moreso just reflective of what he found sexually attractive, right? he’d masturbated to gay porn before, so that probably meant... his face so warm he felt like he had a fever, sehyoon looked to yuchan for a moment, his sweet expression and pleading eyes very difficult to keep his focus on — he was never good with eye contact. _‘i think so?’_ he wrote, tapping his pen for a moment as his thoughts swam, _‘i’ve never had a boyfriend before, but i like how men look.’_

That made Yuchan brighten considerably, smiling at him as he shuffled closer with his chair, drawing a bunch of hearts next to Sehyoon's words, then writing his own, shooting the other fleeting glances as he did, _'we should hang out, do you have a phone? give me your number!!'_  
Next to that, he drew a little sketch of himself with a phone, nothing too detailed or anything, but he thought it looked pretty good, then added Sehyoon, also with a phone, then a heart in the middle; he was still stimming, his zipper catching a couple times, but it held up to his abuse, even as it picked up the pace when he made eye contact with Sehyoon—he was never one for eye contact, but it was easy with him, since his eyes were so dark. It was like the other wasn't even looking at him, and it helped.  
Just then, the door to the room opened and an older lady walked in, looking rather frazzled, but otherwise intact, her right hand smoothing her hair back, the other joining it to put her curls into a ponytail. Yuchan kind of wondered what happened, and he was about to ask, but then he remembered that that blond guy didn't like it when he talked, so he didn't, almost physically zipping his mouth shut.

_yuchan really just said whatever he wanted, huh…_ rather than being off-put by it, sehyoon actually liked the fact that he didn’t have to guess what the other was thinking, taking a lot of the anxiety-inducing effort out of human interaction; that was always the hardest part, and most of the reason that he was never able to build relationships as he grew up — at least, that’s what his behavioral therapist said, anyway. the zipping didn’t bother him much either, surprisingly; his own stimming could get irritating to others, too, so he was able to drown it out. looking down at the drawing yuchan had scribbled, his hands felt a tremble overtake them, and he swallowed down a pathetic, nervous squeak, all of his body feeling tense and like his embarrassment was completely, wholly taking over every nerve inside of him. he nodded gently, trying to even out his facial expression with a lick to his lips, furrowing his brows some as he blinked eyes up at yuchan (yep, still staring), then back down to the paper to write down his phone number and his own small heart next to it.  
they were interrupted by their teacher, mrs. seo, walked in looking like a hurricane had just hit her, as she usually did — she didn’t exactly… _enjoy_ teaching this class, sehyoon could tell that quickly as he came here more and more, especially because she was constantly late and looking upset. underneath his phone number, he scribbled a picture of a wilted flower, writing _‘teacher is mrs. seo. she says she likes me most because i’m quiet.’_

While Yuchan had been putting Sehyoon's number into his phone, checking, double, then triple checking to make sure he got it right, Sehyoon had written something else; putting his phone away, he read it, then added, _'im gonna try and be quiet too, i don't want to make a bad impression. any advice??'_  
He drew another little flower next to Sehyoon's, though his had a leaf wrapped around the stem of the other, as though hugging it; afterwards, he took out a notebook and his water bottle from his backpack, drinking some as he flipped open to an empty page—he was still really hungry, but he figured he could wait the hour until class was over.

yuchan’s drawings were cute, albeit not as polished and easy as sehyoon’s, but he found he still liked them nonetheless; his stomach felt like it was in a tight coil at the younger’s affectionate nature, drawing a flower hugging his and hearts all over the page, instilling some more of sehyoon’s signature distrust, but as he brushed his hair off his forehead and glanced back over, he didn’t get a bad vibe from yuchan, not even close. then, as he blinked up at mrs. seo who was rearranging her desk, he wrote underneath that, _‘quiet is good. keep your zipper quiet too. she’s going to ask you questions because you’re new.’_  
that made sehyoon recall when he’d first showed up here, the kind of questions he was asked and physically couldn’t reply to, his throat seizing up and his eyes going wide; it’s not that he couldn’t speak, he’s done it before, but only in a setting where he felt completely in control and comfortable. otherwise, the only thing that escaped him were small sounds and hums, a habit he’s had since he was younger, one that always drove people away the second they realized sehyoon couldn’t reply normally — so what was up with yuchan? he seemed so bubbly and bright, why would he want to be friends with someone who barely spoke? he tried not to get lost in that concept.  
__  
—

Taking Sehyoon's advice wasn't hard at first; the initial half hour was spent with the teacher talking to everyone directly about their progress and things they felt they needed to work on, Mrs. Seo first going to the brown-haired guy, Donghun, then to the other quiet kid, Yoongi, and then to Yeosang the jerk, before finally arriving at Yuchan and Sehyoons table, the paper on her clipboard being flipped over to a clean page as she seemingly forced a smile—Channie thought nothing of it and smiled back, sitting up straight so he could answer whatever she was going to ask. "You're the new one, Kang Yuchan, right?" She questioned.  
Channie nodded and gripped his fingers tight to keep from stimming, instead rubbing his tongue repeatedly to the roof of his mouth. "Yes ma'am."  
"It says here that you have ADHD... and that you signed on yourself. Any particular reason why you felt the need to attend behavioral therapy?"  
Nodding again, Channie began to bounce his leg as he answered, "I'm going to be out of the system soon, so I figured, you know, I should learn how to control myself so I can get a job, which I know that's kind of hard but I think the routine will be good for me since I won't have parents to make do things when I'm supposed to. I forget things a lot, like this one time I forgot to put on my shoes before going to school so I had to walk around the _whole_ day in just socks, and you'd think that'd be hard but it was really fun because I could slide down the hall, but I ended up falling and hurting myself. It wasn't as bad as the time I was really excited to go downstairs, I don't remember why but I tripped and—"  
_"Mr. Kang."_ Mrs. Seo snapped, her brown eyes piercing into his whilst she rubbed her temple with two fingers of her free hand, like she had a migraine— _oh._  
He'd done it again, hadn't he?  
Channie chewed his lip and bounced his leg harder, his fingers that were still tightly clasped on the tabletop wiggling, too, even as he tried to get himself to stop—why couldn't he just _stop?_ Burning built in the back of his throat and he looked down at the table, his eyes squeezing shut as fresh tears teased at his tear ducts; no, God he did not want to cry here, no way, not when all she'd done was ask a simple question and he just fucking rambled for forever about nothing that mattered. _God, why couldn't he just shut up?_

mrs. seo was very obviously not in a good mood, due to how quickly she had snapped at yuchan for doing something as simple as _oversharing;_ it had been a long time since someone with a hyperactive type of disorder had been in attendance, and she was never a big fan of loud sounds or repetitive motions — why she became a teacher and therapist of people with behavioral issues and autism was beyond him, especially if she was going to treat her students like this. even as she took notes about his own progress, sehyoon offering up the paper he’d written down all the things she’d requested of him last week in a neat format. as he did so, he glanced over at yuchan, noticing how stiff and tense he seemed to be, gripping the tabletop and bouncing his leg to stim quietly, and just that sight as mrs. seo walked away seemingly to take a break was enough to have him alight with the urge to comfort him, though he wasn’t sure if touching him was a good idea — he knew he hated being touched when he was upset himself, so before he offered up a hand, he paused in his motions, taking his pen back up into his hands. he knew that mrs. seo would probably want to keep yuchan after class to keep from bothering the other students, and when she was alone, she wasn’t very nice, and that had sehyoon swallowing his spit hard as he tapped his pen on the desk, keeping himself calm.  
returning with a deftness, mrs. seo approached yuchan once more with a fidget cube, placing it on the table and flipping through her pages again, sighing deeply as she eyed him. “how about i ask you this differently this time?” she started, the tone of her voice cold; sehyoon could tell yuchan was upset and uncomfortable, and as he examined closer he noticed he was... _crying,_ the realization making him whine audibly, almost like someone had kicked him in the side.

Yuchan was trying so fucking hard to keep it together, doing his breathing exercises and drowning out all sound as he focused solely on his stimming, expression contorted into one of anguish as he fought back his tears— _nothing was working._ It'd been a long time since he'd been scolded for talking too much, and after everyone getting on his case about it today, from the other students, the teacher, and his foster parents, it was all he could to keep from... from…  
He shot straight out of his chair with his stuff in hand and managed to say, tone broken and cracked at the edges, _"I need to use the bathroom!"_  
The fidget cube Mrs. Seo had set on the table went to the floor from the force of him getting up, the sound all that was left as he booked it out of the class and down the hall towards _anywhere,_ trying his best to keep his eyes peeled for a bathroom, but... _ugh,_ the tears were already flowing and he sobbed a little, coming to a stop around a corner and burying his face in his hands to cry into them, his head spinning and chest feeling so tight it was like it'd _burst._  
Why did he have to be dramatic?

as yuchan proclaimed that very obvious lie and darted out of the classroom, mrs. seo only reacted with a long, droning sigh, standing up to march back to her desk with her clipboard in hand as the door slammed to signal yuchan’s exit, the sound making sehyoon jump some; if he’d known that she was going to be so mean to him, he would have given some more warning, but rather than say anything, he opted to shrink his frame some, frowning as he tried not to hyperfixate on the imagery of yuchan’s sad, skewed expression and small tears rolling down his cheeks — _he must be sensitive about how much he talks…_ in front of him, sehyoon heard yeosang groan and say _‘thank god’_ under his breath, making his heart feel like it was shriveling up and dying as he looked down at their messages to each other; then, with a cautious hand, he reached into his bag that was hanging off the back of his chair to fish out his phone, checking to see if mrs. seo was watching — nope, so he opened up his messages app to type in yuchan’s number, shooting him a text. _he hoped this wasn’t weird, he’d never actually texted someone first that wasn’t his parents..._  
_‘are u ok? where did u go?’_

He'd slumped down onto his butt against the wall as he'd cried, so when Yuchan felt something vibrate hard against his pelvis, he jumped and kicked a leg out, eyes wide until he remembered that he had a phone now; he dug it out of his pocket and looked at the lit-up screen, seeing Sehyoon's name and smiling some— _he'd been worried about him..._  
Sitting forward, Channie began to type a response, his thumb slow in its motions as he wasn't used to the different type of keyboard, _'im okay now that you texted me! im sorry if I worried you didnt expect to cry lol'_  
Taking his backpack off, he dug out his bag of fast food and started to eat; even though it was cold, he was _really_ hungry, and he figured it would help him call down to focus on something that wasn't his thoughts. Man, it'd been _forever_ since he'd had junk food like this...

if sehyoon was being honest, he wasn’t exactly _expecting_ a response from yuchan, let alone one with an actual affirmation and more of that oozing, sweet sentiment that the younger seemed so endlessly capable of, making him clutch his phone harder as he snapped his vision back up to the classroom; mrs. seo was still preoccupied filing papers, and in that time sehyoon let himself pout some at the answer he was given, his fingers moving to type, _‘why did you cry?’_  
was that a weird thing to ask? _crap, it probably was…_ sehyoon’s breathing stopped in his throat some before he managed to remind himself that he had forgotten to keep a rhythm of it, blinking his wide eyes as he inhaled deeply. _it’s okay, he probably doesn’t even think that’s a weird thing to say, not with how he talks, right?_

As Channie ate his food, he saw Sehyoon's question and hummed slightly, trying to figure out how to word it—now that he was out of the situation, he wasn't sad anymore, so it was fine now. But still... maybe he should tell him anyway, since he _did_ ask... _'she scolded me. i havent been yelled at like that in a while plus everyone else was doing it too so I guess it got to me. its okay tho im eating my food'_  
With his burger now gone, he crumpled up the wrapper and shoved it back in the bag, stuffing his fries into his mouth and humming again—even cold, they were still really good.

raising an eyebrow, sehyoon felt a small bit of pride in discerning that fact about yuchan, that he was insecure about the amount he talked; it was rational that he had that reaction to being scolded, especially as a newcomer, so sehyoon sent a frowning emoji in conjunction with _‘im sorry. this should be a safer place for you. you dont deserve to get yelled at for being yourself’  
_then he exhaled sharp, placing his phone face down on his thigh right after he did so — the bubbling feeling in his throat at talking to someone that wasn’t related to him was almost insane, overwhelming in its nature in how it consumed him, and as mrs. seo started to actually begin the class, he clutched his phone harder and blinked up at her to divert his attention.

Fries were gone, leaving his little carton of apple juice as the last thing to drink; when he stabbed it, though, he accidentally squeezed, squirting it all over his shirt and part of his face. _Aw man... now he definitely had to find a bathroom…_ "Sticky... dangit," He grumbled; he drank the rest of it anyway and stood up, then put his now trash bag between his thighs so he could respond to Sehyoon's text, beaming bright at the sentiment. _'thank u thats so nice of you x) i got apple juice all over myself so i gotta find a bathroom and ill be back!!'_  
With that, Yuchan shoved his phone back in his pocket and headed off towards what he hoped was a bathroom, his zipper the only sound in the empty halls.

_‘apple juice?’_ he typed back with a start, his tongue in his cheek as he swelled on yuchan’s baseline compliment — _nice..?_ sehyoon smiled softly at his phone screen as he tried hard not to make it too obvious that he wasn’t paying attention to mrs. seo, his foot tapping on the floor as he tried to juggle his attention, his spit like rocks in his throat — he shouldn’t be so uneasy about base level conversation, but as time went on, he found he couldn’t focus any of his attention on the lesson at hand, his fingers twirling his pen in his spare hand as his other clutched his phone, both excited and anxious for a response. _thank god mrs. seo never expected him to say anything out loud, he had no idea what she was talking about now, he’d been too spaced out…_

After many twists and turns and doing his best to follow the signs posted on the walls, Yuchan found his way to the bathroom, stopping to respond in front of the sink; no one was here, which for some reason made him kind of uneasy with how quiet it was, but he tried not to focus on it, instead texting Sehyoon, _'my friend kwannie bought me food and i got apple juice but when i stabbed the straw it went everywhere T_T its okay i found a bathroom tho! hows class?? is it lonely without me (｡•́︿•̀｡)'_  
After he sent it, he set his phone on the counter and grabbed a couple paper towels from the holder on the wall, getting them wet, then wiping himself down, making little noises as he did to cut through the deafening quiet of the stark white bathroom—it wasn't like it was that late... where was everyone?

_ks: ’im used to being alone. class isn’t any different today. i’m not paying attention though...’_

_ky: 'id hate to miss out!! im on my way back i think i remember how to get there (• •)'_

_ks: ‘do you know what bathroom you went to? are you lost? :~(’_

_ky: 'everything looks the same :-| theres an office over here that says miller... nooo i think im lost!!! shoot!!'_

_ks: ‘class is over in ten minutes anyway, but i can go look for you?’_

_ky: 'you would do that... what if i get in trouble for not being where im supposed to :-('_

_ks: ‘a lot of people show up here then never come back, you won’t get in trouble’_

_ky: 'im gonna come back!! ill be better next time!! im gonna try and find my way back'_

_ks: ‘let me look for you please, you will just get more lost’_  
sehyoon eyed the time on his phone with a narrowed gaze, signaling that class was going to be over sooner than even he anticipated; he had work in an hour, too, and he hadn’t eaten yet, so leaving early might be a good idea on his own part... having a special ed high schooler roam the college campus didn’t sound like a good idea on yuchan’s end, either. as he raised his hand, mrs. seo looked at sehyoon with a cocked brow, asking, “what?”  
_crap, this was the hard part, he’d never asked for anything in class…_ swallowing hard, he stood up from the table to gather his things, shuffling over to the front of the classroom as he tried to muster the will to say something, mrs. seo’s eyes like knives on him as he stood there — _she must have had a really hard day, she was never this scary._ “w... w-w-work, i n-n- _need_ t-to g-go-go—“  
“go, sehyoon. i know you have matters to attend to,” mrs. seo tacked on a soft smile that took the edge off of her expression, and to that, sehyoon exhaled a sigh of relief, his smile crooked as she continued, “you should attend speech therapy like i told you to. it will help a lot.”  
nodding, sehyoon bowed and clasped his sketchbook to his chest, closing the door behind him as he pulled out his phone to type out to yuchan, _‘do you remember which way you went?’_

After reading Sehyoon's text, Yuchan stopped outside an office marked "Lange" and leaned back against the door, his phone clutched tightly in his hand as he anticipated his new friend's response, playing with his zipper and rocking back and forth, trying to remember just which way he exactly went—fuck, he barely even remembered leaving class. _Dammit. 'left out of the class? i ate my food next to a really big window'_

left to a really big window... huh... the only windows he could think of that could be considered big were in the english wing, so that meant he didn’t go left. _‘you went right, the big windows are where my english class is’_ then sehyoon started off in that direction, twiddling his fingers against the fabric of his pants, eyes wide and heart beating hard — he couldn’t exactly discern _why,_ it’s not like he was doing something wrong, but he’d never skipped out on even the smallest amount of class before... swallowing his spit, he turned the corner towards the bathrooms that yuchan had mentioned going to, his steps fast as the anxiety of having to go to work started to set in, deciding to text back to quell his nerves, _‘im on my way. you must get lost a lot’_

 _'i dont normally i try to pay attention T_T'_  
Just as Channie sent that text, the door he was leaning on opened and he stumbled backwards, falling against something warm, hearing a bunch of papers and other things fall to the floor. "Oh—!" He exclaimed, eyes wide and right leg regaining its footing, hands that were on his shoulders pushing him back upright.  
_"Christ,"_ A voice said, making him turn around in a scramble to find the apparent professor that the office belonged to, his expression rather perturbed as his eyes found his from behind his glasses. "You shouldn't lean on doors like that, kid."  
"Sorry!" Yuchan exclaimed, watching as the professor crouched down to start picking up his folders and paperwork, immediately dropping down to his knees to do the same. "I'm sorry, I got lost and I was waiting for Sehyoon to come find me, he's my new friend from my behavioural therapy class that I was at, but I needed to use the bathroom and couldn't find my way back so he told me to wait. I didn't mean to make you drop all your stuff, sir. You've got a lot of papers, is that why you're here so late? I haven't seen anyone else but my classmates—well, not _my_ classmates, I don't go to school here—"  
"No? Where do you go, then?" The man asked, taking the papers that Channie had picked up from him to stack them with his own whilst standing, making Channie do the same, fingers finding his zipper to stim; he was about to answer, but then he heard feet coming down the hall and turned around to lean out the doorway—it might be Sehyoon, oh he was excited to see him again!

after a couple turns and long strides down the hall, sehyoon was met with the first row of doors in the english wing, not finding yuchan there quite yet, but as he shuffled down the hall and towards his normal english class, the one taught by mr. lange, he saw the younger boy with his bright expression leaning out of the door — was he talking to his professor? why? he put a spring in his step as a small smile split his lips despite his swimming feeling of anxiety, edging closer to the pair and examining them both, a cock of his head and a low hum as he pointed to yuchan and then mr. lange with a tentative expression, asking without words why they were communed. _wow, how had yuchan managed to get all the way over here by accident?_

Seeing Sehyoon, Yuchan wanted to give him a hug as he came to a stop in front of him in the doorway, but the older male motioning between the two of them had him stopping, brain skipping over that to say, "I missed you, Sehyoon! I was waiting like you said, you must really know where you're going if you found me that fast—"  
"He fell against me when I opened the door," The professor said, placing a hand on Channie's shoulder to give him a light push out of the room, Yuchan stiffening slightly at the sudden touch, but giving way to being manhandled gently into the hall, his right hand finding Sehyoon's left to hold. "Since you're already here, Sehyoon, here's your graded paper. I need to get going, so I'll see you in class," And then to Channie he gave a nod, turning to head towards the stairwell at the end of the hallway. "Nice meeting you, kid."

nodding in affirmation, sehyoon took his paper into his hand to stuff it into his sketchbook, his breath hitching at yuchan grabbing his hand with ease, making his familiar flush overtake his skin as mr. lange moved to leave; then, when they were alone, sehyoon looked to the younger boy in front of him, blinking his wide eyes and brushing his hair off of his own forehead before he sounded a contented sigh that bordered on being a whine, motioning his hand around yuchan to try and explain that he was glad to see him, too. he didn’t need to be getting lost campus the first day he was here, even if he did have a visitors pass. tugging yuchan’s arm lightly, sehyoon urged him to start walking with him so they could both return back to whence they came so he could head home and get ready for work, the younger following behind him easily with the jingling of his zippers.

As Sehyoon led them along to the entrance, since class was already over and Channie needed to get home, he held his hand and swung their arms, singing along to a song he'd heard on the bus ride here, but only the chorus, since that was all he could remember; stopping in the middle of it, he turned to Sehyoon and asked, eyes wide as always, "Do you like to sing? You look like you have a really nice voice, I mean everything about you is nice already, do you like nicknames? I've been trying to think of one to give you, unless you have one already, I can use—OH! Sehni? Do you like Sehni?"

as the got closer to the entrance, sehyoon was bombarded with yuchan’s usual slew of questions, although it didn’t overwhelm him when he took them one at a time, stopping short at a corner of the hall to look at the other to reply, making a small, humming sound to the first question, motioning at his throat and up to his jaw with a smile. _yuchan liked to sing? he wondered…_ then he jutted a finger down to the younger boy’s pocket, urging him to take his phone out so he could type to him from his own, saying _‘i think i’ve been called that before. do you like to sing too?’_

Yuchan was about to type in response, but then gave his head a smack when he realised _right,_ they were literally standing next to each other, and they were alone. "Yeah, I love singing! My first foster mom was a vocal teacher and I would help out with her classes by getting water and stuff, it was so fun! We should sing together sometime! I'll text you! Are you busy later? Do you have like a job or something?"  
He gave his hand a squeeze when they stopped in front of the doors, turning to him to grab his other, even though he was still holding his phone, staring up at him with a bright smile, his cheeks flushed from how excited he was; this was the first time in a long time that anyone had ever tolerated him long enough to be his friend, and to get someone as cool and handsome as Sehyoon to want to text him and hang out, it was safe to say he was over the moon—he couldn't _wait_ to text Kwannie about it when he got on the bus.  
Sehyoon himself was red-faced too, and his expression read as apprehensive, but also content, a sparkle in his black eyes that hadn't been there when they first met—it had Channie's chest feeling kind of weird, but he didn't think about it, and it was quickly forgotten.

the only thing sehyoon could do at the unwarned contact was nod and bite down hard on his lip, another zipping shock of apprehension overtaking his frame as yuchan held both of his hands and stared up at him, their eyes locked in one another’s for a few seconds before he turned his head away; he wouldn’t mind spending more time with the other, especially since work had been so overwhelming and school very much the same, but today was a short shift since it was only wednesday, so as he pulled the hand holding his phone back to himself, sehyoon typed out in a notes app this time to hold up and show yuchan, _‘we can hang out tomorrow if you want to’_. he grinned sheepishly at that idea — was yuchan going to come to his apartment? he’d have to clean up some, and he didn’t know if he had any snacks or cool drinks left... he’d have to look. he usually only kept those for when he was babysitting his little sisters, anyway.

Nodding, Channie jumped in place and let go of Sehyoon, the beeping of his watch reminding him that he needed to head to the bus, or else he'd had to walk the 45 minutes home—not fun, he's done it so many times from getting distracted that he'd _really_ prefer not to get scolded again. "I'll take the bus here after school, we can meet up! Text me, I gotta get going!"  
He turned and grabbed the door to push it, then remembered when it didn't give that it was a pull one, smiling over his shoulder in slight embarrassment before finally leaving with a shouted, "Love you!"  
Man, he had never been this excited before in his _life!_ A real friend! He couldn't believe it!

sehyoon stood there with a nervous shuffling of his feet as his expression read dumbfounded at yuchan’s goodbye, his heart feeling like it was melting down his rib cage and into his stomach, curling it in on itself as he looked down at his phone in his hands, evening out his breathing — is this how making friends went? did yuchan really mean that, or was sehyoon reading this wrong? knowing that the younger boy was gay made this all seem strange, or maybe it was him _making_ it weird... he hoped not. he liked yuchan, even though they’d just met, he had a slight soft spot for his excited eyes and sweet smile, how his voice arched up when he was excited—  
no, he needed to get to work before any more of this strange feeling overtook his body, swallowing him whole in a weird tingling. he just hoped work went by without incident today.  
__

Getting home and having dinner went by fairly easily, Yuchan doing his chores of washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen going by fast as he rode the high of having a friend; he'd texted Kwannie a few times, but the other hadn't responded, which was fine, though he was really disappointed he couldn't tell him about Sehyoon. Well, whatever, he knew he went on break after he got off school, so he'd just tell him then.  
After school let out the next day, he booked it to the city bus and rode it the five minutes to the university, getting off and shooting Sehyoon a text that he was across the street at the McDonald's whenever he was done with class; inside the restaurant, Kwannie was just clocking out for break, so he ran over and gave him a hug, the two of them sitting at a table.  
"You made a friend? What's his name?" Kwannie asked as he sipped his Sprite, staring at him with curiosity.  
"Sehyoon! He goes to the college over there, and we text and stuff and he's really nice but he doesn't talk," Channie took the cup and drank some too, which Byeongkwan protested at, but didn't take it from him. "He likes to sing and he's really handsome, we're gonna hang out today when he's done with class, he lives by himself not far from here."  
"Wait, he what?" Kwannie furrowed his brows and took his soda back to drink it, his plump lips forming a pout. "How old is he?"  
"22!!" Yuchan answered, and the other male's eyes went wide.  
"What??"

work had been terrible, mostly due to the fact that his manager accused him of clocking in late when he had just genuinely forgotten, some hurtful words being flung into his face as he tried desperately to defend himself with his hands, wishing he could just open his mouth and _speak,_ but... his coworker, matthew, helped him out of that by saying he’d seen sehyoon clock in, leaving their manager to back off the smallest bit, malice all the same. and not to mention he’d gotten an even worse night’s sleep, but even as his eyes fought sleep in his last class of the day, there was a small smile on his face, one laced with tinges of excitement and unease as he fought to keep his tired eyes open — maybe he should get him and yuchan a coffee? would he have eaten? he could make him dinner... would he want to go on a walk, maybe ride bikes? would he want to draw or just stay in and sing? would he— before his brain got lost in that train of thought, his phone buzzed in his pocket and made him jump, fishing it out of his pocket discreetly to see that it was yuchan, confirming that he was at the mcdonald’s across the street — _he’d actually remembered... why did that make him feel giddy?_  
as he was typing out his reply, his professor started to wrap up the lecture, stuffing her papers into a binder and announcing that class was over, making sehyoon start to do the same to his own belongings, lip between his teeth as he finished his reply, _‘i will be outside in ten minutes. unless you want me to come to you? i’m hungry’._ yeah... _wow,_ he was really freaking hungry, his stomach growling at the mere idea of something to eat that wasn’t instant noodles or just a bowl of rice. he needed to swing by his behavioral therapy class first to collect a written referral for speech therapy, so yuchan had some time to get ready before sehyoon was even off campus. _he hoped he wasn’t late or making him wait too long, that would be really rude…_

Yuchan looked at Byeongkwan with a confused and slightly saddened expression, asking as he played with his zipper, "Well, why does it matter? We're just friends, and he's autistic like me, why are you so worried?"  
Before Kwannie could answer, Channie felt his phone vibrate and brightened considerably, taking it out to see that it was indeed Sehyoon; he beamed and responded with a _'yeah come on over!! im with kwannie hes on his break im really hungry too!!'_  
"Is that him?" Kwannie asked, though he didn't wait for an answer as he reached out and took his phone, reading over their texts—for some reason, that made Channie kind of anxious... "You can't be talking to him like that," Kwannie told him with a shake of his head, giving him his phone back and drinking more soda. "He might think you want to date him or something, and he's _way_ too old for you."  
"Why can't you be happy for me, Kwannie?" Yuchan said quietly, his brows dipped up and mouth turned down, a weak sniffle cutting through his words—he couldn't understand why his best friend was acting like this. So what if Sehyoon was older, it wasn't like they were doing anything weird, he just wanted to be his friend and talk to him and sing together, and hold his hand and maybe watch a movie or something. Kwannie had never acted like this with other people he'd tried to be friends with, so why did it matter now?  
Byeongkwan sighed and settled his hand on his cheek, staring at him with disappointment in his eyes, and at first Channie was expecting him to say something more on it, but instead he just sighed and shook his head, pushing the rest of his soda over to him and standing, hands on his hips. "I'm sorry, Channie, I didn't mean it like that. Are you hungry? Let me get you something."  
Nodding, Yuchan looked down at his phone and Sehyoon's texts, playing with the keychain as he sniffed again. "I want what I got yesterday..."  
Why was Byeongkwan being so weird about it? It wasn't like Sehyoon saw him that way, anyway, so it wasn't a big deal...

that affirmation had sehyoon’s smile widening more as he hopped down the stairs of his classroom, his books being stuffed into his messenger bag, his phone being clutched close to his chest as he made his way down the bustling hall; the sound would usually overstimulate him, but right now, he had a foreign ringing in his ears from his excitement — well, he could assume that, maybe it was from his lack of sleep...  
when he ended up at the door in front of his behavioral therapy, he left a soft knock on the door, knowing that mrs. seo was probably busy sorting through paperwork or having a one-on-one with a student, but as the door was swung open, he was met with her smiling face, a lot less upset and frazzled looking than yesterday. “sehyoon,” she said softly, “are you here to talk to me? or just to pick this up?” mrs. seo held up a slip of pink paper with her neat handwriting on it, waving it back and forth for a moment before she handed it over to sehyoon, his hands grasping it so he could eye it over.  
he shook his head, then smiled softly, too, stuffing the slip into the outer pocket of his bag, shaking his head at the question, “n-no,” he said with a minimal stutter, “j-ju-just g-go- _goiiiing_ ho-home.”  
“well, okay, sweetheart. i did want to ask you,” mrs. seo said as she pushed her glasses up on her nose bridge, a strand of curled hair falling in her face. “do you know kang yuchan personally? i hadn’t seen him before, and he seemed to gravitate towards you, which you and i both know is a bit... strange, considering your temperament.”  
that question took sehyoon off guard, his expression falling into one of confusion, and at it he shook his head once more, looking down at his shoes — why a question about yuchan? was he in trouble? oh, he hoped he didn’t ruin his chances of getting help...  
“i see. well, if you see him, do give him this. i wanted him to fill it out on his own time, as i think one-on-one would be the best course of action for him. i don’t think a group setting will get him the help he needs. thank you,”  
then she handed sehyoon another sheet of paper, except this one was thinly laminated and labeled with yuchan’s name at the top — they were all the same questions he’d been asked when he first showed up, but that information made sehyoon frown all the same; did that mean yuchan wasn’t allowed to come to the group anymore? “h-he-he ca-can’t c—co-come?”  
“he can if he chooses, but...” mrs. seo paused, shaking her head and holding up a hand, urging sehyoon to add the paper in with his own. “i should get back to what i was doing. have a nice rest of your day, sehyoon.”  
with that, the door was closed in front of him, and sehyoon was left to blink slow and collect himself, his strained voice from speaking edging out with a sigh trailed with a whine, a lot like a crying puppy as he started off towards the exit, shooting yuchan a text that read, _‘all done, see you in a second’_. the day was clear and nice, perfectly temperate and pleasant, and as sehyoon began heading across the street with minor difficulty, his heart was beating harder than it ever had before — he didn’t know why he was so anxious, especially because yuchan was _expecting_ him, but... he bowed his head to a few oncoming strangers, pushing the door to the restaurant open as his eyes scanned over the dining room, looking for the younger — when he spotted him, that strange, bubbling sensation choked up his throat and he smiled wide, springing in his steps to approach him.

While Yuchan waited for Sehyoon, responding to his text with a smiley emoji, he was given his food by Byeongkwan, the elder smooching the top of his head before heading back to the staff door with a wave; Channie felt a little better now that he had some food in front of him to help distract from how weird Kwannie had been earlier, but he figured he'd apologised, so it wasn't a big deal anymore. As he'd opened the top of his chocolate milk and drank it down, he was startled by motion out of the corner of his eye, and when he looked he saw Sehyoon with a wide smile on his face, his countenance just as excited as his own was—he yipped in surprise and leapt to his feet, wrapping the other male in a tight hug. "Sehni! Oh, I didn't expect you so fast! I'm so happy to see you! How was school? Do you have any homework? WAIT you said you were hungry, sorry Kwannie got me food, let's go order!"  
With his nose buried in his shoulder, he got a whiff of cologne, a rather pleasant scent that Channie decided he really, really liked—again, it had his chest feeling strange, though it wasn't as easily pushed away this time...

before he could even attempt to collect himself, yuchan was hopping up from his seat and pulling sehyoon straight into a tight hug, the kind that made him wheeze under the contact, one just like his mother would give him when he was gone too long; he felt his face get hot, something that had been happening a lot recently, and as the younger nuzzled into his shoulder, sehyoon offered up loose, barely there hands to his back, one patting and then the other rubbing up and down as his breathing shuddered. this warmth from someone new was so, so foreign that it made his eyes flutter shut as he held him tighter, almost like he was careening into a bright white, but before he got carried away, he drew back with butterflies migrating down from his chest and to his stomach, then down to his legs, a deep-seated tingling sensation awash over his skin as they made eye contact. _this was weird, why did his body feel like that? is this what having a friend is like?_  
nodding at yuchan’s words, he cocked his head to the side and pointed at the ordering machine, the familiar beeping sounds of the fryers in the back filling the silence as he stepped over to it, the bright light of the screen making his eyes wide. he was so glad they had these now, he could never order alone when he was younger... as he started, he motioned for yuchan to take a step in front of him, squeaking a hum as he gestured, urging him to pick something for him — he was always too indecisive, so maybe it would be easier this way, if yuchan could pick a picture of something he thought looked good...

Being apart from Sehyoon made Yuchan's stomach kind of twist, but that was just as quickly pushed out of his mind when he was led over to the self-service machine, Sehni motioning to it with a sound effect, his eyes imploring—oh, he understood! "You want me to order for you?" He asked, and when Sehni nodded, he smiled and stood in front of the screen, looking back at him and laughing, "No peeking! It'll be a surprise!"  
After that, picked out a couple cheeseburgers, a soda, and a large fry, then covered the items with his hand before pointing to the price underneath it. "Is that okay? If not I can ask Kwannie if he can get you more food, I don't know if you eat like me but I'm always hungry so I always need to have snacks."  
Being out like this, all on his own with an older guy and just doing whatever he wanted, was so _addictive,_ being free to act however he wanted making his entirety buzz with a hum he'd never known before, and when he looked at Sehyoon, seeing his pretty face painted with that same new feeling he himself was having of being with a new friend, only worsened that aching of his chest from earlier. _Is this what it was like to have friends? Like it was hard to breathe?_

sehyoon did as he was told, covering his eyes with a spare hand as yuchan picked out something for him to eat, his foot tapping as he tried to stim away some of his nervousness; then he was being nudged, the other boy showing him the price with a point of his finger, the numbers making his gut twist — he thought had enough for that. yeah, probably, he hadn’t spent anything extra this week, so... nodding with his smile remaining, sehyoon dug in his bag for his wallet, procuring his card to swipe it and enter his pin number, beeping confirming that it was approved. _thank god, he knew he was broke, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of yuchan…_ then he looked to the younger, tapping him on the shoulder as he grabbed a number card, shuffling his feet back so they could sit once more, his shoulders relaxing and breathing evening out as he kept the eye contact to a minimum.

Once Sehyoon paid, they sat back down at Channie's table and he drank his milk with a smile, staring at the other male from across the table and stimming. "We can eat here and then go to your place, is that okay? What did you want to do? We can watch a movie, or sing together, or we can draw, have you drawn anything new? Can I see it? Or you don't have to show me, I know you're secretive about that, but honestly I think you should have your art in a museum or something, it's really good, I think it suits you. It kind of looks like you, like pretty and stuff? I don't know anything about art or else I'd describe it better. Do you only draw or do you paint too? I think painting's fun, I used to do it all the time with my first foster mom, she loved like arts and crafts, she said it was a good outlet for my ADHD, but my foster parents now don't want any messes which is fine, I can be kind of messy so it doesn't bother me, I do other stuff like go for bike rides, do you like to ride bikes, Sehni? It's good exercise, and sometimes I go out in the morning so I can watch the sunrise. I wish I could paint it but I can't so I just take pictures instead, do you want to see? I keep them in this pocket—"  
Channie took his backpack off and dug through the side pocket for a little folder with gold lettering on the front that said "photos", opening it to them push it over to Sehyoon, his hands immediately continuing in his stimming—he wanted to eat, but he thought it'd be rude to do so when Sehni didn't have his own food yet, so he waited, wiggling his legs under the table.

in the slew of questions that yuchan bombarded sehyoon with, he wasn’t able to get a nod or a shake of the head in edgewise, although he had taken in all of what was said to him, his tongue swiping over his lip as he tipped his head forward with his eyebrows spooned — it’s not like he was annoyed, nor did he want yuchan to stop talking, but he’d like to actually _answer_ his questions, one by one. before he grabbed the folder of photos from yuchan, he reached into his own satchel to grab his newest notebook and his favorite pen, holding it out to the other boy as he nodded for him to take it, tapping his lip with a finger to press to the cover, urging him to write questions down that way; it would be a lot easier to answer things about himself if yuchan was able to slow down some, he figured. when yuchan grabbed his notebook, then he took up the small packet of pictures, admiring the pretty gold lettering as he did so, his expression lifting as he flicked his eyes up to yuchan’s expectant gaze, his spit getting stuck in his throat like honey as he did — _is that going to become a routine thing?_ fingering the photo on top whilst being careful not to touch too much, he examined it, the framing and the colors a lot like the kinds of photos he took, almost as if it was a professional picture... _wow,_ it was amazing, sehyoon’s eyes going wide as he offered up a finger heart to express his fondness, flipping through the rest to find they were all of that quality — _woah, yuchan was really talented..!_

Having Sehni motion for him to write his words down didn't bother Yuchan at all, nodding in earnest as he took hold of both articles of stationary and quickly scribbled down what he'd asked, or at least what he could remember, since his words _did_ just kind of spill out of his mouth without him actually thinking about them; once he was done, he pushed the notebook back over to Sehyoon and grinned wide when he saw how _excited_ the other seemed to be at his photos—did he really like them that much? That had him so fucking happy that he bounced up and down in his seat, hands coming together to clap. "You really like them? You can take whichever ones you really like, I have tons of copies, or actually just take them all, I'll give you more when I go out again! You should come with me, too!"

accepting the notebook back into his hands, sehyoon let his eyes scan it as he processed yuchan’s words, his lungs deflating at that concept — _he could keep them?_ nodding with a bounce in his frame, sehyoon took the folder of photos to slide them into his bag, already determined to tape them up on the bare wall next to his bed; his new apartment was rather cold... maybe they could do that together? that prospect made his brain turn to mush in a way he’d never felt before; yuchan seemed to be an endless amount of firsts already... as he scanned his eyes over the page to take in all of the questions, he got to work on answering them as honestly as he could, his hand deft on the page and his eyebrows furrowed as he did so; as he was scribbling a small picture at the bottom of the page, he was interrupted by the worker bringing him his food, a short, almost femininely pretty boy with honey colored eyes and ashy blond hair, sehyoon’s eyes going wide at the sight of him as he scrambled to push the notebook out of the way so he could set down the tray. he nodded a thank you, shooting him — his name tag read byeongkwan — a smile, making him take a pause; _wait... byeongkwan? that was familiar._

While Sehyoon answered his questions—briefly pausing to put his pictures into his shoulder bag—Channie watched the front of the restaurant to look for Kwannie, and after a minute, saw him taking up a tray of food and walking it out to their table, his face bright with a smile; Sehyoon made room for him to set it down, and when he did, Channie greeted loudly, "Kwannie!! This is Sehyoon, the guy I was telling you about, isn't he handsome like I said? We're gonna eat and then go to his house, did I tell you that already? Sehyoon, this is Byeongkwan my best friend!!"  
He reached out and took Sehni's free hand into his own, interlacing their fingers and holding tight; that made his chest flutter and his cheeks flushed a bit, but he tried not to show it, stimming over and over to help him do so, his thoughts racing like they always did, but with their focus on how nice Sehyoon looked right now in the evening light streaming through the window they were sitting next to—huh, he wished he could hug him again... 

_oh, that’s why it was so familiar._ at the way kwannie was looking at him, sehyoon stiffened some in his seat, but he fought to keep his eye contact even as yuchan’s fingers interlaced with his own, sending a zip of warmth all the way to the tips of his toes to riddle his skin with goosebumps; that seemed to just dip byeongkwan’s expression even lower, but yuchan didn’t draw back. sehyoon bowed his head in a friendly gesture to the blond, thanking him for the food again and to say sorry for being superimposing, but that didn’t seem to ease any of the darkness in his gaze, making sehyoon swallow thickly. _was it because they were holding hands, or was it something else? he couldn’t tell._

The strange expression that Byeongkwan wore was hard for Yuchan to decipher, but with how Sehyoon seemed to be uncomfortable underneath his best friend's gaze, he nudged him with his free hand as he said, "Thanks Kwannie, you should get back before they get mad at you again!"  
To Sehyoon, he let go of his hand and pushed his tray a bit closer to him, though stealing his cup as he stood up, asking as he did, "What do you want, Sehni? I'll get it for you! Do you want ice? I don't like ice with my soda 'cause it makes it watery, but I'll get it for you if you want it."  
Turning to him, Kwannie stepped into his personal space and leaned into his ear, his tone of voice gentle but imploring, _"Be careful, Channie."_  
Yuchan blinked at him and cocked his head, about to ask why, but Byeongkwan was gone before he could, heading back to the staff door so he could keep working—what was that supposed to mean?

sehyoon couldn’t make out what byeongkwan had said to yuchan before he took off to return to work, but going by the expression in the other boy’s face, twisted up and confused at the words uttered, he didn’t think they could possibly be _good_ — that made sehyoon feel guilty, and as he blinked up at yuchan again, he nodded to his question, but decided that wouldn’t really be enough. pushing himself up to follow after yuchan, he grabbed the cup from him, walking the few steps over to the soda machine, filling his cup with ice and some sprite as he motioned for the younger to grab him a straw, his hands shaking some with his apprehension. he hoped he didn’t leave a bad impression on byeongkwan, that was the last thing he wanted — from what he knew, kwannie was yuchan’s only friend, and he had no right to drive them away from each other in the slightest.

Byeongkwan's words had no real meaning or merit to Yuchan, him shaking his head to then plaster a smile on his face, a skip in his step as he followed Sehyoon over to the soda machines, grabbing him a straw and a lid whilst the other filled his cup. "Don't worry about Kwannie, he's wary of new people, he'll warm up to you, that and he's really protective of me, he's basically my brother since we were in the same foster family for like three years, so he's always looking out for me." He put the lid on the soda that Sehni was holding, then opened the straw, stabbing it through the hole; he then looked up at him with a little laugh, continuing to stim as he did, that flush from earlier flooding his cheeks. "He knows I like you so he won't be mean, he's really really nice and sweet so don't even worry!"  
There was that apprehension behind Sehyoon's eyes like there'd been when they met and it had him reaching out to pat his shoulder, then shuffling closer, leaning in to sniff him again without really thinking about it, as always. "You smell good, is that cologne or just how you smell? I really like it, you should let me borrow it if it's cologne, I don't wear that kind of stuff but I'd like to if it's yours, so that way I can think of you all the time!"

that did help to ease some of sehyoon’s wariness, although yuchan getting closer and saying _that_ had him awash with an entirely new feeling of anxiety, the sentiment both sweet in its nature but managing to make his insides coil with an unfamiliar heat and his chest like someone had stolen his lungs — what _was_ that? taking his drink to himself, sehyoon shrugged in response, whining soft at their vicinity, blinking quick as he led yuchan back to sit so he could properly answer. that, and if he had to be that close to him any longer, he felt like he was going to _faint._ as he sat down, he felt his hunger pangs overtake a lot of his unease as he overlooked the food yuchan had picked out for him, his hand reaching for his favorite part, the fries; as he ate some, he procured his phone into his spare hand, unlocking it and using the one handed keyboard to shoot the younger a text, _‘i shower all the time. what you’re smelling is the aftershave and cologne i use’._

Oh, right, Channie should probably wait until Sehyoon could actually _answer_ him to ask any questions; once they were seated, he read the text Sehni had sent and nodded as he _finally_ got to eat his food, which had grown mostly cold, but he ate it anyway, eyes wide as he waited to finish chewing before speaking, "It smells really good on you, at least! Do you have to shave all the time? I only do it sometimes, like down there and stuff, not really my face, I don't need to. Do you shave down there? Or like your chest? I'm not really hairy, but it looks like it 'cause my hair is so dark, not as dark as yours though, it's really pretty and looks soft," He unwrapped his burger and took a bite, pausing in his talking to chew, watching Sehni's face for any reaction to what he'd said, as well as waiting for a response—wait, maybe it'd be better to write them down. Oh wait, the answers to his questions earlier! He reached out and took the notebook, reading over his answers.

blushing a warm, bright crimson at the forward question, sehyoon buried himself some in the action of eating his food, unwrapping his burger to take a small bite and then wash it down with some sprite, his foot tapping quickly on the tile floor as he did so — he’d never been asked something like that before, so personal and... intimate, but he didn’t hold it against yuchan, merely smiled crookedly as he attempted to deter from the fact that he was as red as the sunset pictures the younger had taken. as yuchan read through his answers, sehyoon was able to get a glimpse of his face in truth now, no eye contact to deter him from taking in the other boy’s features; he knew he was in high school, although not how young, but the braces that adorned his bottom teeth and his lack of needing to shave his face were both telling of his youth — sehyoon shouldn’t have, but he thought that was cute, that he didn’t have to shave everyday like he did... he wouldn’t admit that out loud, though, even if he could. yuchan really was cute all around, he knew this — the dream he had last night was telling that he was attracted to him, and that realization was a lot of why he couldn’t sleep last night, his breaths heavy as he tried to look for a youtube video to calm him back down to sleep that was nowhere to be found.  
before he knew it, he had mindlessly eaten half of his food, realizing that he should probably answer yuchan’s question... _‘i shave my face everyday but not my chest. i shave down there too’._ should he even admit that..? _‘i take good care of my hair because it needs a lot of time and effort when it’s long like this.’_

By the time Yuchan had finished reading all of Sehyoon's answers—adding his own little doodle to the bottom of the page, too, next to the one the other had drawn—he'd inhaled all of his food and was stimming again, his phone vibrating on the table to tell him that Sehyoon had texted; he closed the sketchbook, then picked up his phone to read the texts, suddenly remembering what he'd asked—so he took a lot of care of himself, huh? Channie could tell. Looking up at him, he responded, "It always looks really nice, you do a good job, Sehni. Do you like taking care of yourself like that? I like to wear makeup, but my foster parents are really traditional so I'm not allowed to, do you wear any? Your lips are such a nice pink it looks like you're wearing lipstick, but I can't tell if you are or not," He reached out and rubbed his thumb over them, then took it back to look at it, seeing no colour. "Oh, then they're just naturally like that? Wow!"  
_Why did that make his skin light up?_ There were a lot of things that had been his firsts ever since he met Sehyoon, the tight chest, fluttering stomach, tingling in his thighs that wouldn't cease—it was so strange, but he didn't hate it... Man, having friends sure made him feel weird.

yuchan touching sehyoon’s lips had him drawing back with a swiftness, screeching his chair the smallest bit as he shied away from the feeling, his heart constricting and toes curling in his shoes; he hadn’t meant to have such a sudden and violent reaction, but he’d never had anyone touch him there before _ever,_ let alone someone like yuchan — it had his thighs tingling and his lower half warm in a way he’d only felt a couple times before, making him feel lightheaded.  
wait, why did it matter if it was _yuchan_ touching him?  
whimpering apologetically, sehyoon took his phone back into his hands as he leaned back forward, thumbs quick on his keyboard as he promptly replied, _‘ive never been touched there before, i’m really sorry’_ then he looked up at yuchan, the younger boy’s visage bathed in a hard to discern expression, that just further adding to the sinking feeling he felt in the moment, his eyebrows cocked upwards in a look of guilt. he decided to try and ease out of it, shaking his head lightly as he forced the harsh expression off of his face, smiling tight-lipped, _‘i wear makeup sometimes’_.

Yuchan's brows dipped up and he held up a hand, reaching over and holding his upper arm, rubbing his thumb over the surface. "No, I'm sorry, I should've asked you first, it's okay," He then took his hand back, reading the second message with a small smile; he needed to take it down a notch, he knew, but it was really hard to control himself when everything he did was impulsive, especially when he was with Sehyoon, it seemed, since he was so _comfortable_ around him— _why was that..?_ "When we get to your place, maybe we could do makeup together! I told my foster parents that I was doing try-outs for basketball or whatever, so we have a few hours to do whatever we want!"  
He reached out and drank some of Sehyoon's soda before giving him back, the taste of the Sprite a lot different with ice—he liked it, he decided.

sehyoon accepted yuchan’s apology with the slumping of his shoulders and a long, airy sigh escaping his lips as he continued eating, the trembling in his limbs dissipating as he started to feel full; yuchan drinking some of his soda struck him as strange in the moment, only because it reminded him of a drama he’d seen before, about how when the girl drank out of the boy’s drink it was like an indirect kiss — _wait, no, why was he thinking about that?!_ with a shuddering breath, sehyoon directed his attention back to eating, his food then being quickly finished, his fingers getting wiped off on his napkin as he licked his bottom lip mindlessly, typing out another message to yuchan, _‘we can do whatever you want, i have all day. i live by myself and don’t have class tomorrow.’_ then he met his eyes with yuchan’s, a definite sparkle overtaking them as he clutched his own phone, a noticeable warmth draping over sehyoon’s skin at it. _‘i bought some chips for you on my way home from work last night.’_

Those words made Channie bounce up and down in his seat before he leapt up, gathering all of their trash and trays together as he said, eyes in Sehyoon's whilst doing so, "Then let's get going!! There's no time to waste, Sehni!"  
Once he'd piled it all together, he threw the garbage away, then stacked the trays atop it, darting back to the table to gather his things; he stimmed as he waited for Sehyoon to do the same, rocking back and forth on his feet with a grin, feeling as though he were about to burst from how _fucking ecstatic_ he felt—even though he couldn't decide what he wanted to do with him, he found that he honestly didn't care. Whatever it was, it would be super fun, because it was with Sehni. _If he said that, he'd definitely make him blush._ "It'll be fun as long as it's with you!"

nodding sheepishly with his expression that hadn’t eased up the multitude of his embarrassment, sehyoon gathered his belongings into his bag and stuffed them inside, keeping his phone in his hand as he cocked his head towards the door to lead yuchan; his apartment was only about two blocks away, so the walk would be short and sweet, especially since the weather was so nice — did yuchan like being outside? he seemed the type, maybe sometime they could go out and hike together, or maybe they could— _crap, he’d been just standing there like an idiot, hadn’t he?_ humming as he pushed the door of the restaurant open, he allowed yuchan to go first, the younger hopping out with a spring in his step and a bright, beaming smile overtaking his features; it was practically infectious, yuchan’s excitement like a virus that could be caught through the air, making his own lips curl back into a smile as they started to walk, his fingers busying themselves on his keyboard. _‘its not a far walk, only about five minutes’_ he texted, blinking up at yuchan for his response, only just now noticing — hm... he was a little bit taller than him, wasn’t he? why did that make his breathing difficult?

Being told that they would be walking had Yuchan _so excited,_ hand finding Sehyoon's to hold it tight with their fingers locked together, watching the other earnestly as he quipped, "I love being outdoors! You said you like to ride bikes, too, right? Maybe we could go on a hike or something!"  
Sehyoon had the most _adorable_ expression on his face, a sweet smile that turned his entire face into something so wonderful that Channie had the sudden urge to hug him again, but like... more than that? He didn't know, but it had his insides twisting up, his bottom lip being pulled between his teeth to bite, eyebrows dipping and a weird laugh punching out of his chest. _That was weird... huh…_

sehyoon tilted his head in affirmation to yuchan’s excited questioning, that concept making his chest riddle with fluttering butterflies that he’d never felt before; maybe they could do that tomorrow, if the weather was going to be anything like today — he was still recovering from his long, draining day at work yesterday, and that was very apparent as they kept walking, his body definitely notably fatigued, his fingers unwittingly digging into yuchan’s hand deeper, squeezing his palm against him as he swung it by their sides. he could feel yuchan’s prying eyes on him as they walked, and sehyoon would be a liar if he said that he wasn’t fond of the way that felt, almost like he was being warmed by a space heater by the loving, open energy of the boy next to him. everything about their contact was _new_ and a bit scary, but harnessing just as much internal excitement and genuineness in the same breath. as he turned his head to eye yuchan, their gazes met directly in the middle, the younger boy’s dark chocolate colored ones like little doors straight to his endless stream of thoughts in the complexity of their colors — _they were pretty, really pretty._ it made sehyoon squeak without meaning to, his eyebrows spooning as he shook his head; _ugh, he always made the most embarrassing sounds when he was happy._ using his free hand to type, sehyoon inhaled a sharp breath, _‘can i call you channie too?’_

Having Sehyoon make such intimate eye contact with him had Yuchan's throat closing up and heart skipping in his chest, barely feeling the vibration of his phone he was so lost in his eyes, that little squeak he did only confusing him more in how it had his already knotted gut aching; however, he managed to tear his gaze away and took his phone out of his pocket, reading the text and giggling—only Kwannie called him that, and the prospect of Sehni calling him it had him practically high. "Yeah, definitely!! I'd love it if you called me Channie!" He responded, putting his phone away to instead stim, a warm, intense sensation flooding him all the way down to his toes—he must really like Sehyoon for the other to make him feel this way. He'd never had a friend he liked so much, not even Kwannie... he'd never tell him that, though, he'd get so jealous. "You know Sehni, you make me really happy, I like it," They came to a stop at a crosswalk and he reached out to press the button, hitting it over and over with his finger to make it repeatedly beep. "It's like a funny feeling in my chest, I've never felt it before but I like it and it makes me excited, I'm really happy I met you and we get to hang out, I can already tell that I want to be your friend forever. Do you feel the same? I think so 'cause you're always smiling like that when you're with me and your ears get all red, it's really cute. Mine do the same thing, have you noticed? I don't get flustered easily but when I do I look like a tomato, that used to be my nickname when I was a kid, with my first foster mom. I miss her a lot, she died when I was 12." 

sehyoon was glad that they were able to come to a stop in their walking, otherwise he probably would have tripped over thin air at what yuchan has said to him in his nonchalant way, words that carried a weight as such as if he were... _confessing his love,_ like the drama he liked so much as a child in the scene he always got a strange tingling feeling in his throat from — he wasn’t though, was he? he knew yuchan was indelicate, sehyoon was himself, but as he onlooked the younger with a dumbfounded, almost dazed expression, he couldn’t help but take his hand to himself so he could hide his face, shaking his head so his hair would cover his eyes as they waited for the crosswalk; what was he supposed to do? was he supposed to say something? he didn’t want yuchan hearing his stutter, and he didn’t know if he even _could_ talk around him, but he had to say something, didn’t he? that had his hands falling back to his sides and then into the pockets of his baggy pants, his eyebrows dipped as he blinked his wide eyes from behind his mess of black, gaze landing on yuchan’s frame that was practically vibrating; he whined, then tried to say something out loud, but just then, the light shifted and it was time for them to cross, yuchan taking up his hand once more as they went.  
_a funny feeling in his chest? did that mean yuchan felt that weird squeezing, too?_  
once they were across the street, sehyoon avoided eye contact and unlocked his phone to text, _‘does the feeling feel like someone is squeezing you?’_ he asked, then tacked on, _‘im sorry about your mom channie’._

Honestly, Channie didn't know what he expected Sehyoon to say to that, but having him ask if it was like a squeezing had him skipping even more as they walked, even though the sentiment about his foster mom had that void-like sadness teasing at his insides; he shook his head to clear his thoughts of her and decided to avoid that subject, smiling at Sehni as he nodded in agreement, wide eyes staring down at his to take in his expression—hmm, he looked almost... scared, the grip on his hand tightening, too. He wondered why. "So you feel it too? That's so great, Sehni, that definitely means we're meant to be! I've never had a friend like you ever, we're definitely hanging out every day from now on, okay? And you can't say no either! I know where you go to school!" He laughed loud and walked closer to him, hugging his arm as a giddy sensation washed over him, waves of it going up and down his spine to overtake his head, everything in his vision turning a soft, hazy pink. _Wow, this was amazing, he wanted to feel this forever!_

_meant to be... forever…_ sehyoon tried to ignore how those words bounced around in his skull and made a home in the recesses of his brain so easily, or how no matter how hard he swallowed down his spit he couldn’t get rid of the permanent lump in his throat; at their newfound vicinity, sehyoon exhaled a shaking breath, though his face was still lit up with a small smile, one that couldn’t fade no matter how hard he tried — channie just had that specific kind of effect on him, where even when he was so flustered he felt like he was going to die, he was still incapable of shying away. _did he actually mean that? what if he did? what was sehyoon supposed to do if he actually meant it? ...romantically?!_ as they walked, some bystanders shot them questioning, strange glances at how they were intertwined, sehyoon rubbing his thumb over his phone screen in an attempt to focus on that instead, yuchan clinging onto him like a lifeline as they turned the corner of the block and onto his street — they were almost there, to which he shot yuchan a glance with a pout, blinking some as he pointed to his apartment building, humming light to tell him so.

The rest of their walk was over quickly, Yuchan holding Sehyoon close until the other told him they'd made it to their destination; he stopped and let Sehni lead the rest of the way inside, marvelling at the amazing interior, way nicer than any place he'd ever been in—even if, to anyone else, it might've been a hovel, Channie thought it was really cool. He said as much as they stepped into the elevator, Sehyoon pressing the button for the third floor. "Wow, this is really nice! Where do you work that you can afford a place like this? I can't wait to see your apartment, you said you live alone right? That must be really lonely, it's a good thing you have me now, right? I wish I could sleep over, that'd be so fun!"

the main working of his apartment building was always bustling at this time of day, and as the stepped onto the elevator, yuchan was filling his ears a mile a minute with a million questions and sentiments, making sehyoon purse his lips as he patted his shoulder, urging him to quiet down some — one of the men on the elevator was on his phone and was glaring, making sehyoon shuffle channie off to the side, tapping his foot as it came to his floor and the piled off. living alone wasn’t exactly his favorite thing, and it _did_ get lonely, even if he had no friends prior, he always wished he could have people over like they do in the movies, drinking or smoking like adults; it always looked fun, but he knew yuchan was far too young for that, plus he’d never even _held_ an alcoholic drink himself... procuring his keys, he jingled them some to create a pleasant tinker, then he slid it into the lock to reveal his plain studio apartment. he’d cleaned last night, and he was usually one to keep it tidy, so he wasn’t worried about yuchan being greeted with anything too revolting; the younger already seemed so enthralled, his fingers preoccupied with his zipper as he practically bounced up and down when sehyoon led him inside, closing and locking the door behind them.

Even though it kind of hurt Channie's feelings, he listened to Sehyoon's instruction to stay quiet for the rest of the way to Sehni's apartment, busying himself with stimming and chewing his lip, until they were finally inside his apartment. The interior was bare-bones, only really furniture but no decorations or colour except for a stack of paintings in a corner next to an easel; for some reason, that had a tugging sort of feeling pulling at Yuchan's heart, a million thoughts racing through his mind, none of which being spoken aloud until he turned around to face the other male, his wide eyes and slack jaw staring at him as he said, "Can I look through your paintings? Why are they piled in the corner, do you not like them or something? Why don't you hang them up? We could—OH, why don't we paint together? What about the pictures I gave you, we should put them on your walls! Are you allowed to colour them? You should paint every wall a different colour, unless you're more of a one colour type—what's your favourite colour? Mine's red, I wanted to dye my hair that but my foster parents won't let me 'cause they're traditional, did I tell you that already? I—"

yuchan’s excitement had sehyoon scoffing a soft laugh that was hardly audible in the air, his expression softening as he took the younger by the shoulders, looking into his eyes as he cocked his head to the side; he inhaled a deep breath as he took in the features of the boy in front of him, so soft and childlike in the way that his eyes sparkled with the low lights of his kitchen lighting, making that strange squeezing feeling bubble up to his chest again. _ugh, it just felt like he couldn’t breathe again, even when he was just standing here…_ gathering up himself and forcing some feigned composure over himself, he let his tongue swipe over his bottom lip, one of his hands falling to his side as he evened his breathing, “l-l-let’ _sss_ ju-just p-pa-pain-paint.”

For a second, Channie didn't even realise that Sehyoon had said anything, his voice was so quiet and full of stammer, but when it finally processed in his brain, he grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him closer, his eyes so wide he swore they were going to pop out of his head. "You..." He began, then started jumping up and down, face flushed and a strange, tepid bubbling filling his gut, his brows dipping. "You have the cutest voice I've ever heard!! Sehyoon!!" He wrapped his arms around his neck and yanked him into a hug, nuzzling at his hairline and giggling—he never thought he'd ever hear his voice, let alone right now, so early in their relationship. He hummed pleasurably and inhaled his scent, sighing as he did, "You don't have to talk just for me though, it's okay! And we can paint! We should put them up on the walls too!"

sehyoon’s heart leapt out of his chest and straight out onto his sleeve as yuchan hugged him and nosed softly into his hairline, laughing sweet next to his ear as he offered up hands to the other boy’s back, sliding up to pull him close; was he supposed to be hugging him like this? was this okay, or was he just getting lost in yuchan’s excitement and genuineness? it probably shouldn’t have, but that pulled his stomach into a coil, his eyebrows spooning as he buzzed low, barely there hum, the scent of channie burying itself into his nose as he held him close; he smelled sweet, mostly like laundry detergent, albeit a light, floral one — his frame was thinner than his own, almost lanky, but his shoulders were broad and enveloped sehyoon’s when they were close. that had his brain blanking as he drew back, yuchan’s hands still planted on his shoulders and one of sehyoon’s palms unintentionally rested on channie’s hip; when he realized, he yanked it back to himself, ears red and cheeks redder as he shook his head, biting down hard on his lip. _this felt like the drama... it shouldn’t though, should it?_  
as they separated, sehyoon missed the warmth of yuchan’s hands quickly, that realization heavy in his frame as he unslung his bag from his shoulders.

Sehyoon's touch on his hip had a warmth he'd never experienced before travelling like lighting from the area to every corner of his body, his toes curling in his shoes and fingers digging slightly into Sehyoon's shoulder; however, it just as quickly disappeared when the other stepped away, the whine that had been building in his throat dying out into a breathless sigh—what was _that_ sensation? It pooled in his groin, his thighs pressing together even as he struggled to breath; it felt as though he could choke on air, but he didn't understand why, so he tried not to think about it, his expression lowering slightly as he bit his lip. _It was really nice, and he kind of wanted Sehni to do it again, but for some reason that thought embarrassed him…_  
Bouncing in place, Yuchan shook his head and dropped his backpack from his shoulders, as well, deciding to distract himself from it by stretching his arms, then taking his jacket and shoes off, his feet sockless—he hated the feeling, even just thinking about it made him shiver. He wandered over to the easel and set it up, locking the bar between the legs to keep it in place; afterwards, went around to look at the paintings stacked atop one another, his heart in his throat from how fucking _excited_ he was. Walking around had his still-heated lower area rubbing against the front of his jeans, and he grabbed at it to try and get it to stop, but it didn't seem to work—hmm... well, couldn't do anything about it, so he just shrugged it off.

channie was taking his shoes off and migrating away from him as quickly as they’d come together, sehyoon finally being able to catch his breath as he did the same, taking yuchan’s jacket into his hands to hang it next to the door; he lined up both of their pairs of shoes into a row, shrugging off the cardigan he had been wearing with ease, his fingers trembling some as he held it — _why was he so nervous? it was just yuchan…_ moving to join him, sehyoon bit his tongue as he fought the urge to stim by licking; it was already raw enough, he needed some chapstick _definitely._ channie was lost in examining the paintings sehyoon had completed, his eyes wide as he looked, one of his hands preoccupied with tugging at the crotch of his jeans — weird, sehyoon thought with a start, but as he got closer, he could notice very clearly something he _shouldn’t... was he... that kind of excited? why would he be?_ without thinking, sehyoon tore his gaze away from him as he leaned down to search through his shelves for his paint set, his heart beating harder and his teeth threatening to bite straight through his tongue. was it something he did? did he touch him too far? was that how that really worked? he didn’t show him anything like... porn... he wasn’t like that, he wouldn’t make channie look at something so gross... _so why was he red in the face and shaking in his core at the concept?_  
grabbing his paints into his hands, he tried to push past the very obvious way his expression was skewed up, his eyes narrowed and lungs filled with cement as he handed channie them, immediately looking down at the floor as he did so.

While Yuchan had been preoccupied with marvelling at all of Sehyoon's beautiful paintings, he heard the owner of them rifling for something, and when he looked up, he saw him standing in front of him, hands holding a box of paints out to him; he beamed and grabbed them, but then paused as his gaze found his face—why did he look so bothered? Was it because he was looking at his art? _Oh shit did he not like that?_ Channie squeaked and took a couple steps away from him, clutching the box tighter and chewing his lip, rocking back and forth to stim since he didn't have his jacket. "Sorry! I didn't mean to look at them without asking! You're really talented is all, I really like them, they're beautiful! But I won't look! I'm sorry, Sehni!"  
That heat that had been coiling in his groin started to die down some, which helped the beating of his heart immensely, but it still had him confused as to the reason—he knew it was because of Sehni touching his hip, but _why?_ Thinking about it had him shifting his weight, especially with how he'd stared at him, like he'd never seen anyone like him before...

yuchan must have noticed his undoubtedly immensely telling expression, his apologies rolling off his tongue in unsure desperation as he rocked back and forth, making him hold a hand up and shake his head to the younger; why did he think it was about his paintings..? he didn’t exactly make his staring obvious, but since channie didn’t seem to notice (or rather, he didn’t _care_ ), sehyoon didn’t dwell, even if it did make his entire body feel like he was drowning in boiling water, his ears ringing that barely-there buzz they did when he was uneasy. there was a lot of that with channie, even if he didn’t realize... closing the distance that channie had created, sehyoon tapped the black-haired boy on the cheek to divert his attention to a specific painting he had on the top of the pile in the corner, bending down to grab it into his own hands; it was a smaller one, but he was extremely proud of it — it was a sunset during winter, icy yet warm, and at yuchan’s reaction to it, he smiled genuinely and warmly, shifting his weight as his brain migrated away from any indecent thoughts he’d had prior.  
_he wanted to see the sunset with yuchan someday._

_If it wasn't the paintings, then why was he looking at him like that?_  
The brief distraction that Sehyoon gave him via showing him one of his paintings was welcome, eyes lighting up and chest tight from his joy, though it was only merely that—brief. That strange, almost too-warm heat was churning his insides over and over at their vicinity, Sehni touching him and gazing into his eyes with a smile stoking it like a fire, and for a second, Yuchan couldn't think of anything besides his desire to hug him again. _If being close made him hot, then why did he want to keep doing it?_ Maybe he just needed to cool down…  
"I'm kind of warm," He said, gripping the box in his hands tight and pressing his thighs together, his brows furrowing as he chewed his lip; for some reason, this was embarrassing him, even though he didn't even know what "this" _was—_ it just felt like he shouldn't be like this around him, but then, he knew Sehyoon wouldn't make fun of him.

even though sehyoon was able to lift yuchan’s expression the smallest bit by showing him his painting, his fell right back down as he got a far-away look in his eyes, thighs pressing together and fingers curling around the set of paints like he was scared to drop it; as sehyoon cautiously and nervously let his eyes wander down channie’s frame, he couldn’t help but notice the bulge in the crotch of his pants, making his own visage bathe in something foreign, and for a moment, he couldn’t even tell that yuchan had said something to him — when it registered in his conscious, though, he swallowed a choked whine, his eyes wide and lower half shaking where he stood, his painting being lowered down from his hands and back onto the pile. so he _was_ excited, though sehyoon couldn’t tell from what... was it their hug? was it him touching his cheek? what was it? though, sehyoon found himself not exactly wanting to create distance, the look on yuchan’s face striking him as _cute,_ but that just made him feel guilty for even _thinking_ that. whenever he got hard like that he would touch himself to make it go away; he learned how to do that when he was thirteen, and at the time it scared him in that it felt _good_ — he couldn’t recall what exactly caused it the first time where it wouldn’t go away unless he did something, but just the idea of channie having to do the same made him shudder, cold and warm at the same time as he slid his hand into his pocket to grab his phone, typing and showing the younger the screen, _‘do you know why you’re warm?’_

Blinking, Yuchan focused his eyes on the screen of his phone that Sehyoon was holding in front of him, reading it over, then giving a nod—at least, he was pretty sure that he knew. He didn't want to tell him... it made him flustered just thinking about it, but then, maybe if he told him, he could help him understand; he knew that there were a lot of things about life he didn't know or get, solely because his foster parents treated him like a child, and as a result, many things that occured in his body and brain went unknown, or he was forced to figure it out on his own. This, though... "It's because you touched my hip," He answered, turning slightly to set the paints down on the sofa, then looking back up at Sehni with red cheeks—he trusted him, he knew he wouldn't hurt him or anything, so if there was anyone he could trust with this, it was him. "It made me feel really hot and nice. This hasn't ever happened to me before, s-so I don't know what it is or anything, my foster parents don't like me knowing anything about my body because they say it's bad. It makes me feel kind of stupid..."

_oh._  
that just proved to worsen sehyoon’s flush and the gnawing, almost painful sensation that overtook his nerves and spread throughout his body, his chest filled with the uneven and rough beating of his heart as it forced air into his lungs, almost forgetting to breathe — _this has never happened before? really?_ then, to distract from how channie’s sweet, embarrassed expression made his own lower half tug and coil with warmth, he directed his attention back to his phone to type out, _’it’s when something makes you excited about sex. or you see or feel something that you think is attractive. it means you’re’_ sehyoon paused in motions, biting the inside of his cheek at the reality: yuchan thought he was attractive enough to make him excited like that, in a sexual way — _no, no, no, that made him feel like he was going to faint..!_ sehyoon mumbled something incomprehensible to even himself as he continued on his task of writing, _‘attracted to me. you did say you were gay’._

It took Yuchan a second to absorb that, turning the knowledge over in his brain to fully absorb it, letting it sink into him— _sex?_ He'd heard that word before a few times at school, and when his foster mom told him not to watch a movie that had that in it, so it was something bad? Or, no, that didn't make sense, because Sehyoon said it had to do with being attracted to him; he knew what that meant, it meant he thought he was pretty and handsome and liked him, which he did! So that was part of it? He was beginning to grasp it. "I understand!" He said, smiling some and hopping in place, looking up at him and running a hand over his opposite arm, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, still unimaginably hot all over just from standing there, so close to him. _Did that go with having friends, too? Then why did he never feel this with Kwannie, even though he thought he was pretty?_ "My foster mom always said sex was bad, though, but if it has to do with you, then it can't be. What am I supposed to do about it? You know a lot about this, you can show me, right? I trust you, Sehni!"

sehyoon exhaled the breath that he was holding when yuchan affirmed that he understood, rocking and bouncing as he normally would, but then he tacked on that, and without thinking, sehyoon squeaked pathetically as if someone had punched him in the gut, his eyes going wide and eyebrows furrowing — _show him? as in... showing him how to touch himself?_ reeling back, sehyoon shook his head, hands trembling and his lips in a pout, his mind running in circle after circle as channie looked at him expectantly, wide eyes and a small smile on his face — _this was wrong, he felt like he was going to explode. ‘sex isn’t bad but i can’t show you how to do anything about it’_ he typed, grip tight on his phone and even a small tinge of nausea churning inside of his stomach; channie was so innocent, it almost felt wrong to even be talking to him about this, but he didn’t want to leave him without any answers... he had the right to know, as much as it made sehyoon feel unbearably hot under the collar himself. _‘if i did i would be having sex with you’._

At first, Yuchan bit his lip and lowered his brows on his face, his countenance turning down into an almost sad one, his heart skipping beats in a way that didn't mirror at all the sweetness from earlier— _why not?_ The second part had him stepping closer, rubbing his hand up and down his arm even faster, cocking his head to the side. "Why can't you? I don't really get it, Sehni, I like you, and isn't that part of it? You like me too, don't you? And if you say sex isn't bad, then what's the problem?"  
Sehyoon looked tense, too, fit to burst with how hard he was gripping his phone and how hunched his shoulders were, but even then, his face and ears were red and his eyes were half-lidded, brows dipped up—was Yuchan being overbearing again? Was he reading all of this wrong? He didn't want to make Sehyoon uncomfortable, but he didn't understand why them having sex would be a bad thing; maybe if Sehyoon could show him another way, then it would be okay, but that had his gut sinking and a tinge of sadness burning in the back of his mind— _that would mean that he didn't like him, and for some reason, the prospect made him want to cry._

channie was being extremely overwhelming, his words prying and almost completely without a hole for sehyoon to wriggle free from; his gaze was so expectant and eager albeit a bit sad, and sehyoon looked off to the side, he blinked long and slow, trying to collect himself; _they couldn’t have sex. sehyoon had never done it before, and yuchan was way too immature, there was no way._ but then again, how else would he let channie down without making him sad, or worse, _cry?_ exhaling shakily, sehyoon grabbed one of yuchan’s hands into his own, meeting their eyes with a imploring contact, fighting his inherent want for silence with a whine, his free hand swiping over his keyboard with minor difficulty, _‘you aren’t old enough’._  
would that be a good enough reason for him to realize that they _couldn’t,_ or would that just make his cute features wane into something pitiful and pathetic once more? _but why did sehyoon feel frustrated telling him no?_

"Old enough?" Yuchan asked, the close vicinity making his tone pitch up, his spine tingling and eyelashes fluttering. "Then... when will I be? And does that mean I can't do anything about this?" He took a hand and motioned to his crotch, where the bump was still very visible, the fabric of his jeans rubbing against it whenever he moved, and it was starting to hurt a bit from the chafe— _if he had to go forever without making it go away, that would suck._ It was kind of annoying, even if it felt good in how it made his body feel. _Ugh._ "It kinda hurts... wish I knew how to make it go away... I can't look this stuff up on my own either, I don't have a computer," He lifted his gaze back to him and shrugged, taking his hand from Sehyoon's and crossing his arms, mouth turning up and gaze darting down to the floor. "It's okay, we don't have to talk about this anymore. We can just paint instead, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, I know I can be a lot sometimes... I'll figure it out somehow, maybe Kwannie will know, he's been on his own, he can help me, it's not like he doesn't like me, either..."  
_He was so stupid, he'd ruined this whole day because he didn't know anything, why do his foster parents have to keep embarrassing him by refusing to tell him anything?_ It wasn't like he was dumb, he just needed extra time to figure stuff out!  
_Great, now he felt like garbage._

sehyoon felt a wash of guilt overtake his entirety at how yuchan reacted to him telling him no and yanking his hand back to himself to cross them over his chest, his countenance riddled with his disappointment; in the grand scheme, sehyoon was relieved, his shoulders relaxing and his body was starting to cool off, his cheeks returning to their normal shade ever so slowly as he licked his raw lips — _ow, oops._ he didn’t look down to where channie was motioning, he didn’t need to rile either of them up, so as he took a step back, he brushed his hair off of his forehead, sighing audibly this time before he spoke (he was surprised he was comfortable enough with yuchan already to even say _anything_ ), “t-to-to-touch _iiing_ m-ma-makes— makes i-it go a-ah-ah— _away.”_ he felt anxiety grip his brain at how he sounded so out of breath and terrible when he talked, wishing deep down his speech therapy was helping at all, but it _wasn’t_ ; then, as he shook his head free of his guilt, he looked down at his own hands, then back up to channie, “y-you— do i-i-it-it you-your- _your_ self.”

_Touching?_ Hmm... "Okay," Yuchan said, his arms unfolding to hang at his sides, shifting his weight, the action making his brows spoon, a wheeze blowing past his open lips. "I'll... I can try, that, I guess. Thanks, Sehni, I'm sorry for asking you about this, I wish I knew better, it makes me feel really stupid that I don't understand anything about like, puberty and stuff, I just wish I had a way to figure it all out, you know? Like a computer or a mom and dad... my first foster mom would know..."  
He felt himself getting sad again and shook his head, even just that brief moment of cloudiness helping the heat in his body to die down—already, he was feeling better. Smiling wide up at him, he rocked back and forth and took up the paints, rustling them around in the box to fill the air with the noise. "Forget about all that! Let's just paint, okay? And then we can put up all our pictures! And eat those chips you bought me too, don't think I forgot!"

nodding to channie, sehyoon’s frame loosened and his eyebrows straightened out, all of his face relaxing into something so much more comfortable as he moved the shuffle the few steps over to his tiny kitchen island, grabbing the bag of spicy chips up into his hands to bring them to yuchan, a soft smile over his face. _he could feel that he was warm, too, but his own pants wouldn’t show his own excitement off too much, thank god._ as channie accepted them, sehyoon reached for his other set of paintbrushes and a mixing palette, setting them down on the couch next to the easel, splaying them out for the younger to pick from them. as he watched him do so, sehyoon felt that weird, tepid tingling in his chest that moved up to his brain, making him tense his fingers at his sides as he forced it away, urging him to calm down some — _but he couldn’t, not entirely._  
__  
—

By the time seven rolled around and it was time for him to go home, Yuchan and Sehyoon had nailed to the wall all of the paintings and taped Channie's photos there, too, there interaction quickly jumping back into the ease in which it'd started; most of what had happened was put out of Yuchan's mind, and when he made it home after giving Sehni a kiss on the cheek and telling him he loved him, he did his chores and went to bed, excitedly texting Byeongkwan everything that had happened—well, _mostly_ everything...  
For some reason the prospect of telling him he'd talked about sex with Sehyoon made him anxious, like it was something he wasn't supposed to know about—well, according to Sehni, it _wasn't._ That infuriated him to no end, like everyone still saw him as a child and not the literal 17 year old he was; all of his peers were dating and kissing and hugging in the hallways, talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends and just _being teenagers,_ but Channie had to be the freak that didn't understand or know what any of that was. Couldn't he just be _normal?_  
He didn't have that bump in his pants anymore, either, but he was determined, tomorrow when he saw Kwannie again, he was going to ask him about sex. _And his foster parents couldn't stop him, either!_

the rest of the night went without any further incident, sehyoon and channie talking and learning more about one another, their communication easier than it had been prior, even if it was mostly one-sided on yuchan’s end. with an overwhelming display of affection, the younger boy was headed home, a bright grin on his face as he went, leaning sehyoon’s throat to close up as he shut the door behind him, sinking against it, holding his head in his hands for a long moment before he really knew _why_ — why did he feel so frustrated? his lower half felt like it was on fire, and as he looked down at his own lap, it just further confirmed that he was turned on, making him exhale a shuddering sigh. _he was such a creep, wasn’t he? why did yuchan kissing him just make it worse?_  
as he made himself dinner and wound down for the night, his brain swam in a million possibilities and images that wouldn’t leave his consciousness be, his motions becoming robotic as he dwelled on everything in general and nothing in particular, all of the time he’d spent with yuchan the past couple days like a permanent part of his brain that urged a warmth over his skin — he shouldn’t be feeling like this, it was so, _so_ strange. their age gap made this feel wrong, endlessly wrong. but why would it be? they were just friends, and friends talked about... sex sometimes... didn’t they?  
he was glad that he didn’t have work in the morning, and as sehyoon laid down to get comfortable and maybe get some sleep, he shifted his weight and felt the friction of his bulge against his pajama pants, making him whine — he shouldn’t, it always made him guilty, but... he opened up his list of the three porn videos he liked, slipping his hand down to start to touch himself; then, just like the snapping of fingers, he got a goodnight text from channie, his brain fizzling out like a fried egg in his skull, the imagery of such a sweet text overlaying something so dirty making him pause in his motions to lie flat on the bed, catching his breath.  
_what was wrong with him?_

He'd texted Sehni that morning and briefly during school, talking about their next date; he didn't work today, but Channie couldn't meet up since it was his turn to babysit the younger kids while his foster parents volunteered at the animal shelter, but he'd somehow managed to convince them that he needed to stay for an hour after school to get tutoring, just so he could see his best friend. It was Friday, which meant that this was the last day Yuchan got to see Kwannie before the weekend, so he quickly made his way to the McDonald's he worked at and headed inside; he knew that Fridays were Byeongkwan's short days, so when he went inside, his best friend was clocking out of work, and when he saw him, he frowned and turned to face him over the counter. "Channie, you never visit me on Fridays, what are you doing here?" He asked, taking his apron off as he turned to head to the staff door next to him; once he was through it, Yuchan grabbed his arm and tugged him along to the exit, stopping once they were outside with his expression completely coated with determination.  
"I want you to tell me about sex." He told him, one hand on his hip, the other stimming with his zipper as always.  
Byeongkwan's eyes went wide and he froze up, jaw going slack for a second before he looked around, then back at Channie, asking, "Wh... what? Where the hell did you learn about that?"  
"With Sehyoon," Channie answered, and that had Kwannie grabbing him by the shoulders, brows knitting together, very clearly angry.  
_"You what?"_

his morning classes zipped by relatively quick, even though on fridays he only had two; in his free time during lectures, he was filling his sketchbook with small doodles of various things, easing his racing thoughts with the strokes of his hand on the paper, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he concentrated; some of the guilt from last night was still making a home in his chest, especially since he wasn’t able to relieve himself before bed, no matter how hard he tried. taking a small sip from his water bottle, he laid on the finishing touches of his drawing, settling back in his chair as he took it up to examine it—  
wait, when had he started drawing channie?  
before he could try and answer that question himself, his professor was gathering up his papers and ending the lecture, signaling that he was allowed to go home for the day; eagerly, he quickly shut his sketchbook and stuffed it into his bag, crumpling something in the process—  
oh, crap, he’d forgotten to give yuchan the form for behavioral therapy yesterday. oops, _maybe he should shoot him a text…_

"I _told_ you to be careful of him! How far did you get? Where did he touch you? I swear, I know what he looks like, I'll—"  
"K-Kwannie, calm down, he didn't touch me!" Yuchan exclaimed, reaching out for Byeongkwan as he scratched up and down his arms as he fumed, rambling to himself—however, before he could, he felt his phone vibrate, and when he took it out, Byeongkwan snatched it out of his hand.  
"It's him, isn't it?" He said, holding Channie back from taking it with one hand—Channie whined and reached for it, patting Kwannie's arm to try and get him to relent.  
"I don't know! Byeongkwan, _please,_ I promise nothing happened, he didn't do anything to me!"  
"We'll see about that! There's no fucking reason that a 22 year old _man_ should be talking to you if he doesn't want to fuck you!"  
He read the text, and when he did, he paused, just kind of standing there and staring at the screen, his expression almost... confused. _What did it say? Channie was so anxious._ "What is it, Kwannie? What does it say? I didn't wanna make you mad by asking you that, I just want to know because he wouldn't tell me or show me, he said I was too young and that he was sorry he couldn't, I just—"  
Byeongkwan started texting something back, and that had Channie freaking out, scrambling to grab his phone even harder, a pathetic whine wheezing out of him. "Kwannie, _don't!!"_

honestly, sehyoon didn’t anticipate getting a text back so fast, an eyebrow cocking as he read it, the typing style a bit different from how yuchan usually used, something he didn’t really think to focus on too hard — _‘Come meet me across the street’_. hm, well, that was a good thing, sehyoon decided, ignoring the skipping of his breath as he descended the stairs in his classroom, shuffling a bit faster now that he had a propose; the walk outside wasn’t a long one, his english class being right next to the main entrance, bringing him outside in less than a couple of minutes. it wasn’t as nice as it was yesterday, and as he pushed his hair off his forehead stepping past all of the students piling down the sidewalk to get to their cars or the bus, sehyoon narrowed his eyes to spot yuchan and what looked like kwannie standing in front of the mcdonald’s, his head cocking to the side — huh, they both looked standoffish... the light didn’t take long to change, and as he made his way across the street, he threw his hand up in a wave in the process of closing distance, smiling some to channie, whose expression was reading something very different than he anticipated. byeongkwan was a lot of the same, eyebrows low on his face and lips curled into a scowl, gaze boring holes into sehyoon the longer he stood there.  
did he... do something wrong?

The answer to Yuchan's question as to what he'd texted Sehni was quickly answered when he saw his soulmate friend make his way over to them, the walk short, watching as the loving expression he'd worn quickly dissipated when he saw them, becoming one of unease; Channie broke away from Byeongkwan and into Sehyoon's arms, hugging him tight, much to the dismay of Kwannie, as he heard the older male scoff. "I'm sorry Sehni, I tried talking to him about it, and I told him you didn't touch me or anything, but he won't listen, y-you don't have to be here—"  
"Yuchan, _stop it,"_ Kwannie said, the shuffling of feet telling of him coming closer, feeling his hand grip his shoulder to tug him backwards, the contact making him whine and hold Sehyoon tighter— _why did Byeongkwan hate him so much?_ He just wanted a friend, and Kwannie always told him to try and make them, and now that he had one, he was mad at him? Why? _He really couldn't understand._

_didn’t touch..?_ anything he could have thought this was about was turned on his head immediately, channie clinging to him like a lifeline as byeongkwan tried to tear him away, jolting sehyoon forward with a bit of a stumble, gasping an airless breath; he looked up to the blond, shooting him a questioning glance as he brought yuchan against his chest, hugging him loosely — was kwannie mad at _him?_ why would he be upset with him? that didn’t make any sense... “wh-wh-what—“ sehyoon tried to start, drawing back from channie’s grasp to meet his eyes, whining softly to ask his question without words, knowing that the younger boy would understand. “m-m-m— _mad?”_

"Yeah Sehyoon, I _am_ mad," Byeongkwan snapped his fingers in front of Sehyoon's face to make him look at him, his hand lowering to join the other on his other hip. "You're a fucking _adult,_ you have absolutely no reason to be talking to a _teenager_ about _sex!"_  
Closing his eyes tight, Channie stepped away from Sehyoon with frame hunched, his entire insides _burning_ with something he'd never known, something _beyond_ just the frustration he'd felt every once in a while; this was different, _seething,_ and he snapped at Byeongkwan, his voice shaking, "I said that's _enough,_ Byeongkwan!!"  
Kwannie froze, whipping to look at him with his entire expression twisted up in one of utter shock—Channie didn't care, he was tired of this! "If you don't want to listen to me, just like f... fucking everyone else in my life, then fine!! Give me my phone back, because me and Sehni are leaving!"  
_Wow, he'd never said a swear word before... it was really freeing!_

oh. this was about yesterday.  
sehyoon swallowed hard as byeongkwan snapped at him, his eyes as big as planets in his wide they were, his frame physically reeling back as he watched yuchan yell back at him, a deep, shaking rage in his tone that sehyoon didn’t think the younger was capable of, biting and full of his frustrated malice — then he tried to snatch his phone back from byeongkwan with a deftness, yuchan linking their arms as he did so, making sehyoon pout his lip and tug him back so he wouldn’t get hurt. how did he managed to get into the middle of this? he felt like he was going to pass out...  
_what did channie tell byeongkwan for him to react like this? it’s not like they got up to anything dirty or wrong._  
“ch-ch-ch— _channie—“_ sehyoon’s words sounded muffled behind his tongue as he tried to pull away from the younger, the shocked and angered expression on byeongkwan’s face only proving to stake him further down, his fingers grasping the crinkly fabric of channie’s windbreaker as he started to leave, his heart dropping to his feet. _should he apologize? but he didn’t do anything wrong, did he? he didn’t touch him, even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to._

Nothing but soft feelings flooded Yuchan's insides, and as he found his gaze when he was tugged back towards him gently, he realised that he should probably _explain_ to Sehyoon why this was all happening—right, he hadn't been here for the first part! "It's not your fault, Sehni," He held his shoulder and smiled up at him, doing his best to be reassuring, settling his hand on the side of his face to lead his gaze down towards his own. "All I said was that you told me about sex, and he started getting mad. It's not your fault, okay? You didn't touch me and he knows but he doesn't care! We can just leave!"  
When he turned back to look at Byeongkwan, the other male was facing away with his arms crossed, his brows furrowed and lips a pout; Yuchan knew what that meant, Kwannie was probably gonna text him later and apologise, beg for forgiveness, buy him a bunch of stuff—it'd happened before, his best friend had a tendency to overreact. Shaking his head, he beamed up at Sehyoon again and dragged his hands down to hold his, motioning with his head in the direction of Sehyoon's apartment. "We can walk, and then you can tell me what you needed to, okay? I'm sorry you got dragged into this!"

taking yuchan’s hands into his own, sehyoon fiddled with the strap of his bag with his spare hand, fingers running along the fabric as they began to walk; he fought the urge to look over his shoulder at byeongkwan, knowing that it would just worsen this awful, stabbing feeling that overtook his nerves, his stimming the only thing keeping him from spacing out as they headed towards his apartment — he didn’t want byeongkwan to hate him, that was the _last_ thing he wanted, but that wasn’t to say that he didn’t know what this looked like. yuchan was still young and innocent, that so telling in all of his words and actions, it would be downright _perverse_ for him to take advantage of that — is that really what byeongkwan thought he was trying to do? that made sehyoon whimper as he looked over at channie, blinking slowly as he took in the younger, his countenance already evening out some just being close like this. sehyoon’s face was already warm as they held hands, and as he dug in his pocket for his phone, he squeezed yuchan’s hand to get his attention.  
_‘i’m sorry for making byeongkwan mad at you. i didn’t mean to make you two fight. he’s just looking out for you’_

Being away from Byeongkwan to instead walk and hold hands with Sehyoon helped greatly in calming Yuchan down, the overcast sky and gentle, yet biting breeze ruffling his hair and making him smile, the fresh air like a balm over him; a squeezing of his hand drew his attention to Sehni, then down to his phone, reading his message and shaking his head—he'd never seen Kwannie like this, but he knew it probably wasn't a big deal. _Didn't stop him from being angry, though._ "He's not mad at me, he thinks you only want me for sex, but maybe if he _told_ me what it was or why he's so mad about me knowing it, instead of just overreacting, I would want to listen to him! I swear Sehni, you're the only person that treats me like I have a brain! Everyone just thinks I'm some fucking child! I'm almost 18, they should act like it!"  
He hugged Sehyoon tighter and buried his nose in his shoulder, sniffing to help calm himself down again—smelled the same, just like yesterday. _It was really so nice._

sehyoon could tell with pretty reasonable doubt that yuchan was young, given he was still in high school, but hearing that he was _seventeen_ only made that knife of guilt twist and make him stiffen — if he was alone, he would definitely get stuck in his own head, so he thanked whatever higher power there was that the streets were busy and bustling with sound, keeping him from hyperfixating on how yuchan’s body felt against his, a zipping tingle running down his spine as he fought to keep his composure. typing on his phone helped to ease him down, too, slowly shoving the events of last night out of his brain with a push, _‘i can tell you about it if you promise not to tell byeongkwan’._

Seeing that had Yuchan coming to a stop, accidentally almost knocking Sehyoon over in how abruptly he came to a standstill, excitement filling him to the brim and his head nodding, fingers still stimming with his zipper. "You'd do that? Sehni!!" He hugged him tight and squeezed, burying his face in his neck and exclaiming happily from behind his closed mouth, a joyful, buzzing hum that tickled his throat. "I won't tell him, it's just you and me!! Thank you thank you thank you! Is it okay if I ask about other stuff too? It's okay if you don't know it either, but I guess I really can't talk to anyone but you, but that's okay because I love you and don't care about anyone else!"  
Being so close to him was wonderful, his warmth cutting through the cold to heat him from the inside out, as though he were a hot pack, a flush coating his face that he didn't realise was there until it felt like he had a fever—he guessed Sehyoon was warmer than he'd thought!

he’d be lying if sehyoon said that hugging yuchan wasn’t high on the list of things he never got tired of, the younger boy’s grasp around his body like he was a koala, fingers digging into the back of his sweater and face buried in the crook of his neck, making a contended, ecstatic sound into it as if they were speaking their own secret language; even though public affection like this made sehyoon red in the face, he returned the embrace, this time letting his arms wrap around the broadness of yuchan’s upper back, a hand migrating up to stroke his mess of black — _so soft._ even though channie’s words made him feel almost giddy in how wanted and loved he felt by him, his eyes showed a sign of hesitancy when he pulled back to grab channie’s hand once more, deciding that his apartment would be a better place to do this; he didn’t want byeongkwan and yuchan to grow apart all because of a misunderstanding... taking off in the direction of home, sehyoon tapped his fingers in a loose rhythm on the top of yuchan’s hand as he held it, the contact of their skin almost as if it was bringing all of his energy into his body, shivers of brightness overtaking any of the anxiety he had prior. _he was like taking a pill of sunshine._

Yuchan had never had his hair touched before, the gentle contact of Sehyoon's touch running through it enough to send his whole body into a shiver, a tingle spiking straight down his spine to his groin once more; he tried not to dwell, or let on how _good_ it felt as they kept walking, instead trying to focus on Sehyoon's aura intermingling with his own, as though he could get drunk off his wonderful energy—not that he'd know what being drunk feels like. It was infectious, at any rate, and he never, ever wanted to stop feeling it, no matter _how_ in trouble he could get from coming home late—with Sehni, nothing else mattered.  
Soon enough, they made it to the building and inside, once again heading from the lobby to the elevators and up to the third floor, his racing heart from finally learning about something so dirty never ceasing in its desperate pounding, even now, when he knew this wasn't that serious...

once they were inside his apartment, sehyoon held a hand out to once again take yuchan’s jacket, slinging it over the hook as he did with his sweater, the warmth of his abode nice on his exposed arms as he bent down to start to untie his shoes, kicking them off in a neat line; he could tell just by looking at him that channie was endlessly excited, his dark eyes bright and wide as he practically shook in place, and before he led him down to sit, sehyoon handed him a bottle of water from his fridge, the younger taking it into his hands swiftly and eagerly.  
he didn’t exactly... have a _plan_ for how to talk about this, especially not because it was so on the spot and even he wasn’t that well versed in the concept of sex — he knew he should keep it vague at least, to not let himself get bothered like he had last night, the uncomfortable sensation of being (he looked up the proper usage of the word, thankfully) _horny_ overtaking most of his dreams well into the morning. for this, it’d be in his best interest to keep small details to a minimum.  
leading channie over to the couch, sehyoon kept his phone in his hands for easy communication, patting the sofa for the other to join him, his own frame tense with his unease and apprehension. the warmth of the younger boy was welcomed, even if he felt so hot in the head that he feared he might be sick, his body was freezing cold... letting his thumbs move over his screen quickly, he held up the message in front of yuchan’s eyes, _‘you can ask me what you want to know first then we can go from there’._

Before Yuchan knew it, they were in Sehyoon's apartment and he had a bottle of water in his hand, the older male leading him to sit on the sofa, turned to face him; it was a lot less stifling of an environment now that there was some colour thanks to their artwork, and it had Channie a lot less on edge, his gaze expectant as he read Sehni's message, then looked at him whilst he twisted the cap to his bottle back and forth—what should he ask first? Oh, right! "How do you touch yourself?" He asked, left leg beginning to wiggle back and forth. "I didn't get to try 'cause I didn't have that bump in my pants when I got home. Is there an actual word for that? What happens to you down there? And what's that part called?"  
_Shoot, he should slow down, he didn't need to be asking a million questions._

instantly, sehyoon was feeling intensely flustered, his fingers wrapping around his phone for a minute as he absorbed all the questions yuchan filled the air with, his fidgety frame swaying from back and forth as he awaited sehyoon’s answers with wide eyes; it felt like a punch to the gut, just how little channie knew about this, right down to even the words being lost on him, a small frown painting itself over his lips as he began to type, crossing his legs over one another. he didn’t need a repeat of yesterday... _‘its called being horny or having a boner, there’s a lot of words for it. i always called it being excited because that’s how i learned, but when you see something you like you get hard down there and get warm like you did. you didn’t know it’s called a penis?’_ he offered his phone for channie to read, examining his pretty side profile as he did so, how his eyebrows raised and his mouth formed a small ‘o’ as he concentrated, sehyoon’s heart running away in his chest — he didn’t know how to explain how to touch yourself without overstepping a line, so maybe he could demonstrate on something inherently non-sexual...

"Penis... okay," Channie said with a nod, letting the information sink into his brain as he read it over; so he was horny, and when his penis got hard it was called a "boner". Man, there was a lot of stuff he didn't know! It's a good thing Sehyoon was here. "I understand, Sehni! What about touching it? What happens when I do that?"  
When he looked back at Sehyoon, he saw that his face was all red and he was stiff, like this was bothering him—he'd told him it was okay, though, so why was he acting like that..? Getting closer, Channie dropped his head to the side and asked, right hand reaching out to grab his knee, "Are you okay? You look upset! You can talk to me!" 

nodding his head with intent, yuchan offered up a hand to his leg, making him exhale a shaking breath, but he tried hard to keep it out of his expression, looking at the younger with eyes that were almost pleading; he was glad, in a way, that channie was able to pick up on this quickly, meaning he didn’t have to fluster himself too terribly trying to explain it in excruciating detail, but... licking his lips that tasted of his raspberry chapstick, sehyoon began to type, thoughts of every kind creating a whirlwind in his head as he fought the urge to think about anything dirty or indecent, especially in regards to channie — _why did his brain want to wander there so badly? he didn’t get it._ sighing soft, he showed yuchan, _‘im okay. you touch it when you’re alone and when someone can’t see you. you touch it like this’_ then sehyoon took up one of channie’s arms, wrapping his fingers around his wrist to stroke up and down his forearm as he would to get himself off, the eye contact they were sharing like burning alive, boiling all of his blood under his skin and making him feel stifled once more, thoughts fizzling out and becoming fixated on the boy in front of him — _crap, no, not again..!_

Channie's eyes went wide at the sensation of Sehyoon stroking him like that, heavy-handed and even as they stared into each other's eyes; he could feel himself getting... horny, warmth pooling in his gut and his brain fizzling out, not even comprehending what Sehyoon had written to him. _Why was it so bad when it was him touching him?_ He opened his mouth to talk, but all that came out was a squeak, and he could tell that his expression was all twisted up like it'd been yesterday—oh no, wouldn't Sehyoon get upset with him again? He didn't... appear to be…  
_Actually, it looked like he was horny, too, now that he thought about it._

the reaction of his touch on channie’s body was unexpected and seemingly dumbfounded, and as sehyoon drew his hand back to himself to place back into his lap, he bit down on the inside of his cheek at the way the other boy was staring at him, eyes wide and filled to the brim with an unreadable emotion, almost as if he were forlorn; sehyoon’s own body was stiff and his breathing was ragged, his lower half awash in a feeling that was starting to become familiar to him, even if he hadn’t wanted it to — _when did everything start to turn him on?_ as he shifted his hips, he could tell that he was starting to get hard, the tugging feeling in his stomach only worsening as he examined yuchan’s equally, if not more flushed face, his fingers preoccupied with his stimming to probably get his mind off of it. _god, he hoped he wasn’t ruining their friendship by doing this, but he felt so warm all the time, it was like he was going to die._ whining barely audibly, sehyoon typed, _‘when you do that motion down there it feels really good and will make it go away when you ejaculate’._  
how the hell was he supposed to explain what _that_ meant?

It took Yuchan a second to process what Sehyoon had written down, his brows dipped up and thighs wiggling back and forth to try and keep himself from getting a boner, but... it was fruitless, the front of his jeans feeling _remarkably_ tight in no time at all. _Well, at least he kind of knew what to do about it._ "Ejaculate? What uhm..." He rubbed his hands over the tops of his thighs, lowering his gaze to avoid making eye contact with Sehyoon, but they ended up finding his crotch, and he saw that... that he was horny, too. _So he was attracted to him? What did that mean?_ He couldn't bring himself to look away, even if he tried, so he just chewed his lip as he tried to finish saying what he had been, voice almost a whine. "What does that... m-mean?"

sucking in a deep breath, sehyoon couldn’t help but notice that channie was staring down at his lap with eyes fixed on his crotch, and against every single voice in his head to tell him to stop, that this was getting too out of hand, he pushed his hair off of his own forehead as he continued, hands shaking from the tepid feeling that had made a home in his lower half, overtaking all of his rational thought, _‘when you touch yourself, it will feel really good and you will start to shake and warm white stuff called cum comes out of you’._ gritting his teeth as he lowered his phone after yuchan had read it, sehyoon was thankful that they weren’t making eye contact anymore, but he still felt like he was about to pass out, channie’s very obvious boner pressing up against the zipper of his jeans just like yesterday — _this felt wrong, but they weren’t touching... so why did it feel like sehyoon was going to get in trouble?_ their thighs were touching, and normally sehyoon wouldn’t realize it, but yuchan seemed just as on edge, and that had every nerve in his body like it was seizing up and making him convulse in place, his usual stimming of tapping on his thigh not helping to calm or ease it in the slightest — it was actually making it _worse. ‘its called an orgasm’._

_Everything felt really, really intense, like he was going to burst;_ Channie had read what Sehyoon said, he had, but it wasn't registering in his brain past his incessant urge to give him a hug, his eyes that had been trained on his crotch trailing up his body to see his face, a torrid, sinking feeling weighing him down inside, making it so hard to breathe, his heart skipping every beat in his chest—he was so _pretty_ , and with their closeness he could still smell him. _Why was he so hung up on how he smelled?_ "I..." For once, he was speechless, his thoughts jumbled even more than usual, yet somehow so crystal clear.  
_He should hug him._  
Slowly, he brought his knees under himself, then sat up and leaned forward to wrap his arms around Sehyoon's neck, nuzzling into his hairline as his weight knocked them back against the arm of the sofa, the entirety of his body pressing against his; he whimpered and hugged him tighter, thighs twitching as the pressure against his boner made him ache, zipping up his spine to the back of his skull. _This felt really, really good._

channie’s eyes raked over his frame with a cocktail of hunger and neediness, something sehyoon thought he would never see in the younger’s eyes, the reality of this setting in the second he was pulled into a tight, all-consuming hug, his head spinning and breaths stopping short as they fell back against the cushions of the sofa, yuchan nestled between his thighs and his nose buried into his neck once more, skating hot breaths along the skin; at first, sehyoon was speechless, not even capable of a sound, but as he tried to shift and adjust the weight of channie on top of him, he caught friction on his crotch that made him audibly gasp, his fingertips digging into the back of yuchan’s shirt as he tried to wrack his brain for what to do. should he push him away? should he just not react? should he tell him no? should he try and wriggle free and make channie go home? all of those ideas sounded terrible to sehyoon, especially in the moment where his body was alight with a new, unknown flame, his eyelids fluttering shut as he hugged channie back, whining from the back of his throat at the stimulating pleasure of his weight on top of him — _it almost felt like touching himself._ he knew he should make channie stop, that this wasn’t appropriate and was going too far, but being this close to the other was sickeningly sweet, pooling droves of a strange new brand of ease in his gut, and before he could stop himself, he cocked his hips once more, his nose buried in yuchan’s lightly scented hair. 

Feeling Sehyoon not only hug him back, but make a sound like _that_ and knock their groins together, had Yuchan's head spinning, an almost unbearable desperation sinking into his bones the longer he went without _moving;_ it was as though he were doing everything on instinct, rolling his hips into Sehni as his hands trembled where they gripped his hair and the collar of his shirt, the friction of their boners from behind their pants rubbing together making him moan high-pitched and pathetic, his mouth open and wet against Sehyoon's neck, tasting the salty-sweetness of his skin without meaning to. This was a lot, so new and different yet somehow instinctual that all Channie could do was ride the impulsivity, even if he didn't know what he was doing; he kept up a pattern of rolling his hips, boiling pressure in his gut burning him all over, turning his skin inside-out to be so sensitive that even just Sehni's arms wrapped around him were too much. _Why had he never done this before?_ "S-Sehyoon... _ahh~"_

_oh my god, this was like one of the porn videos that sehyoon watched._  
that fact sank in his stomach like rocks, but before he could even _attempt_ to feel guilty, yuchan was finding a rhythm of rolling his hips so desperately already, knocking the wind out of sehyoon’s lungs as he held the other closer, his nose that was buried in his hairline evolving into light pecks on the soft, exposed skin of his neck, urging channie to make more of those adorable, pathetic sounds, his lower half throbbing each time he heard them — _this was wrong, he should stop, but oh my god it felt so good_ — “ch-ch-chann _iiie_ —“ sehyoon moaned against his skin, just the sensation of him under his lips intensely intoxicating, the pleasure of just this contact almost like dying, so insanely foreign and _different_ from his own hand that he couldn’t keep quiet, his voice leaking out in a myriad of quips and whimpers; before he could stop himself, one of his spare hands was running down the expanse of yuchan’s back and down to his ass, his palm flat on it as he guided the motion of the younger boy’s hips, making his head fall back against the arm rest and their embrace to loosen some. his eyes had been shut, but as they fluttered open, he caught a glimpse of channie’s bright crimson cheeks and spooned eyebrows, all of his visage very clearly showing the indecent nature of what they were doing — _he looked really pretty like this, even just his face made him feel so good._

That hand that Sehyoon placed on his butt worsened that torrid feeling inside of Yuchan, pulling a rough, pleasure noise from his chest that pitched upwards when kisses were placed all along his neck, his his eyes fluttering open to roll back into his head; if felt like something was building in his dick, yet a bit lower, a sickening luridity that churned his guts over and over, painful in how _amazing_ it felt. Hearing Sehyoon say his name like that made him whine, burying his face even closer to his shoulder to muffle himself—he really couldn't keep quiet, no matter how hard he tried, and as he brought his hands down from Sehyoon's hair to instead claw at his upper arms, he managed to squeak, _"F-feels li-like I'm, I'm gonna—"_  
He moved faster and groaned through his teeth, his brows knitting together to turn his expression almost agonised— _that's how it felt, so good it hurt._

at yuchan’s desperate, pleading words, sehyoon accepted the overwhelming feeling of being clawed at, their voices together in moans and whines coupling like sweet, tooth rotting nectar, thick and pleasured as the filled the small space of his apartment; sehyoon rocked his hips harder, his hand that had been resting on channie’s ass moving to grope the flesh, the softness making him shudder out a whine as his other buried itself in soft black, fingers getting threaded to stroke encouragingly, his voice surprisingly able to cut through his own pitiful sounds of pleasure, “i-it-it’s oh-okay to—“ then yuchan got just the _right_ angle, everything going white and quiet as he dug nails into the other boy’s scalp, his heart beating harder as his own orgasm started to build deep down; everything about this contact was like electricity short circuiting his brain, so much better than whatever porn video he’d watch at night, and as channie started to rut against him with even more intent, sehyoon groaned on a breath, his dick throbbing against the pressure. 

Nothing that Sehyoon was saying was registering in Yuchan's mind, the only thing he could even possibly process being the sensations wracking his frame, that mounting pressure climbing and climbing, egged on by his best friend's hands all over his body; his voice was barely there, chopped up and broken by his staggered breaths, and as everything cut out and his eyes saw nothing but bleeding black, he left deep scratches down Sehyoon's arms and gasped, eyes shooting open wide and body convulsing— _oh my God, what the fuck? What the fuck?_ Unbelievable pleasure washed over all of his insides, ricocheting off every corner of his body to coalesce in his crotch; he could feel wetness seeping out of him, getting all over his underwear—before he could be embarrassed about it, though, Sehyoon not stopping in his motions had him mewling. _Fuck, it was way too much._ "S-Se-Sehni, f- _fuck."_

the way yuchan’s body writhed and shook to its core as he came was enough to make sehyoon growl, his eyelids getting twisted shut as he focused on the mounting sensation of his own orgasm, keeping channie’s body against his with his grip to his lower back and ass, frotting against him with smooth, fluid motions of his hips, his body sinking down to be practically laying, jaw slack to allow his quick, breathless moans to escape his throat; deep down, he wished he could see how yuchan truly looked as he came, and he wondered if it was anything like the videos, where it was beautiful the way they twitched and trembled as cum got all over their hands — with just that imagery of channie so spent and with his hand wrapped around his own dick, bringing forth whirlwinds of pleasure to himself, he _lost it._ with one last rocking of his lower half, sehyoon was trying to mumble out words that just evolved into airless, insanely pitiful sounds, his spine tingling and head careening down into the pleasure it was wringing out of him, so amazing and like nothing he’d ever felt before — just like yuchan, this was a first, and as he rode it out with soft, barely-there motions of his hips, he could feel the seeping warmth of his cum dirtying his boxers. he let the sensation wash over him, his hands fell to his sides and he fought to catch his breath, half-lidded eyes blinking up at the boy above him, his expression still laden with his desire and newfound pleasure; it made him smile lazily out of the side of his mouth, his post-orgasmic haze deleting his anxiety and guilt from his brain for just this moment. 

Channie had managed to regain his consciousness enough to watch Sehyoon orgasm, fascinated even last his exhaustion at how his head snapped back and his voice died in his throat, how he clutched him so close and grinded against him like it was the last thing he could ever feel; his lower half twitched as he watched, but he didn't feel himself get another boner, instead it was actually kind of _painful,_ causing him to want to get away from the sensation—he didn't want to be apart from Sehyoon, though, so he didn't. Everything was hazy, cast in a warm pink that edged at the corners of his vision, turning the sight of Sehni smiling lazily at him into a tepid, sweet twist inside his stomach. "I like that face you make," He said, wriggling up to kiss his cheek, nosing at the flesh before kissing it again. "And that felt really good, I didn't know anything could feel like that. Did you like it? Did I do a good job?"

it took a long time for sehyoon to truly gather himself, and yuchan bringing him close with praises and kisses to his cheeks made that strange bubbling, fluttering feeling make a home in his chest, his hands sliding up to run fingers through channie’s hair once more; now was when the guilt started to mount, even in this amazing, almost romantic closeness, sehyoon felt that telling knife to his stomach, but instead of acknowledge it, he nodded to the other, affirming his question. he was finally able to breathe, even if he felt apprehension bite at the recesses of his brain — being with yuchan made sense, especially after how he’d felt in the last couple days, and before he could mentally slap himself on the wrist, he was wondering when they could do it _again_. “g-g— _good,”_ sehyoon whispered, his cheeks pink as channie doted on and kissed him, everything about this vicinity turning his brain upside down, like he was drowning.  
_he wasn’t just using yuchan for sex, was he?_

Yuchan hummed pleasantly at the contact and bumped his head back into it, opening his eyes to stare down at Sehyoon, smiling wide and adoring at him right along with it— _he wondered when they could do this again._ Would Sehyoon even want to? It seemed like he did, if how easily he accepted his contact was anything to go by; Channie knew he wouldn't want to be away from him, either, if it felt just _that_ good over his clothes... He wished they could keep going, but he was way too tired.  
_Wait, he was supposed to be babysitting!!_  
"Oh shit!" He exclaimed, leaping off of Sehni and to his feet, patting himself down and bouncing in place. "I gotta go! I need to watch my siblings! Oh shit I'm late!!"

even though sehyoon missed the contact of yuchan on top of him, he tipped his head in assurance as he moved to push himself up and off the couch, his lips forming a pout as he approached channie, handing him down his jacket; he wished he could stay longer and they could paint like yesterday, or maybe even watch a movie — _why did the prospect of yuchan leaving make him so sad?_ offering up a smile to cover his imploring, overly gregarious thoughts, he watched as the younger pulled on his coat and shoes in a hurry, sehyoon holding out his arms for a goodbye hug, that familiar tingling overtaking his frame as he did so. _eugh, he really needed to shower now._

Of course, Yuchan wasn't about to leave without giving Sehyoon a goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek, telling him he loved him just like he'd done yesterday; after that, he was flying towards the elevators and anxiously hopping up and down as he rode it down to the lobby, booking it out onto the street and the two blocks back to the McDonald's to catch the bus—somehow, by some miracle, it was still there waiting for the last two passengers to board. He was quickly across the street and at the stop, dashing up the steps and to the terminal next to the driver, whereupon he swiped his bus pass and sat down, resting back in the seat. As he waited the five minute drive home, he had the biggest smile on his face, every thought he had pertaining to no one and nothing besides his soulmate friend, and the intimacy they had shared.  
__  
—

over the weekend, sehyoon and channie had texted almost nonstop, talking back and forth about anything and everything, whenever he could find a break between his long hours and night shifts, pulling his phone out on break to read the slew of messages he’d gotten from yuchan as he was away; it very quickly became a habit, something that he found himself looking forward to as he worked, ecstatic to see yuchan’s pictures in the mornings and good night texts and pictures of animals when it got late. they had talked about what happened last time they saw each other, and channie seemed to understand that what they’d done was loosely classified as _sex,_ and to sehyoon’s surprise, the other understood without reasonable doubt — they didn’t exactly _flirt_ back and forth, not that sehyoon could tell, but they were still a bit openly affectionate in the texts, and it had him wondering and wracking his brain before bed... _what was their relationship? were they still just friends?_ everything he looked up on the internet said different words for the same thing, and all of them pointed to identical answers: they all said he was _in love._  
but, they just met, and yuchan was seventeen. that didn’t sound right...  
monday morning was greeted to sehyoon groggily, but he still had that drive and urge get out of bed and actually make coffee and wear something nice, being sure to use the same aftershave yuchan liked so much; he’d held onto the paper for his behavioral therapy since thursday, so maybe that could play into his excuse to see him again... well, not that he really needed an excuse, but maybe yuchan would want to fill it out together? then maybe they could watch a movie, paint, take pictures, ride bikes, or maybe—  
_when did all of sehyoon’s thoughts start to revolve around channie?_

The weekend had come and gone so quickly yet not fast enough that Yuchan almost couldn't believe it, not when the excitement he felt over seeing Sehyoon again had his entire body refusing to calm down the entire time; it actually seemed to get _worse_ when Monday finally came, him hopping out of bed before his alarm even rang to get ready, racing to take a shower—he didn't usually shower before school, but he wanted to look and smell nice for Sehni.  
When he got out of the shower, he saw that he'd gotten a text from someone, and at first he was really excited thinking it was Sehyoon, but when he picked his phone up and read the screen, he saw that it was from _Byeongkwan._  
They hadn't talked since the day they'd fought—Channie had actually almost forgotten that'd happened. Reading the text, his brows dipped up and he pouted a bit, a bit of guilt tugging at his chest: he wanted to see him and apologise. There was a type of sincerity in his words that he recognised even through text, and it had him compelled to respond, even though he was still kind of mad at him; they'd been friends for so long that what Byeongkwan had done, Channie would've never thought it of him, so having him practically almost sabotage his friendship with Sehyoon over a misunderstanding was making it hard for him to forgive him. But... it'd been long enough, and he still loved Byeongkwan a lot and would hate to lose him over this, so he texted back a confirmation, telling him that he'd see him after school today. It was a half day, so he'd still have time to see Sehyoon later—fuck, he was _so_ excited!!  
__

The end of the day came extremely quickly, Yuchan racing out to the city bus to ride it to the McDonald's Byeongkwan worked at; he'd told him that he was going to take an early break so they could chat, which meant that he _definitely_ wanted to talk for real, about important stuff—Kwannie was never one to do that...  
When he'd made it, he went inside and waited by the staff door for Kwannie to show up, his gaze finding the face of a new employee stood at the register, a very handsome, black-haired guy that looked to be Korean, too; he was smiling and taking an order, and from behind him, he saw Byeongkwan touch his back, then give a wave before heading over to the door—huh, he wondered what that was all about.

usually byeongkwan didn’t like to push around breaks, especially because most of his coworkers weren’t the most understanding people, but today, he needed to talk to channie — the guilt was starting to eat him up as he slept as he dwelled on the way the younger had stormed off, a malice and harsh edge in his tone that he’d never heard from him before. it made his heart wrench some, but work went fast, and he’d spent a good amount of his time compiling a safe and effective way to educate yuchan on the subject that started all of this in the first place, sex. he knew deep down that channie was old enough to know, and it was his _right_ to know, so it was just better if it was him telling yuchan about it and wasn’t from a shitty, perverse place like the internet, or even worse, someone else trying to take advantage of him and him learning that way. and he’d come to terms that he had overreacted, especially when it came to sehyoon, so as he headed off for his break, he slid a hand up junhee’s back out of instinct, feeling him shiver; he smiled soft at his reaction, then headed out to the dining room to meet up with channie.  
the younger was wearing what he usually was, but he had a noticeable sparkle in his eye as byeongkwan approached him, his own lips curling into a grin of his own, although a wash of guilt still laid thinly over the surface of his skin. “hey, channie,” he said with sincerity, pulling up a chair to sit next to him. “how was school?”

Channie had sat down by the time Byeongkwan came out from behind the counter, pulling up a chair to sit beside him; he smiled at him genuinely and held out a hand to hold one of his, his left, as always, preoccupied with stimming—he hadn't seen him in such a long time that his hair was different now, a bright pink that he thought looked really cute on him. Man, he wished he could dye his, he _really_ wanted red hair... "It was okay! I'm happy to see you, Kwannie, I didn't expect you to text. I really like your new hair colour, did you just dye it? It looks good!! I saw that you have a new employee, what's his name? Do you guys know each other? I saw you touch him, is he your boyfriend or something?" He rambled—fuck, he forgot that this always happened whenever he saw someone he knew after a while. _Just be quiet and let him say what he wanted, Channie!_

hearing yuchan spewing his normal, rambly thoughts took a considerable weight off of his shoulders, and as byeongkwan got settled in his seat, he smiled an easy smile, answering them off as he always did, “yeah, i dyed it a couple days ago. i was bored of being blond. the new employee is named junhee, we’re not dating, but i think he’s cute,” he said earnestly, letting his elbows rest on the table as he set down the folder of paper he’d intended on giving the younger; it was a bunch of safe, informative, and easy to read diagrams and columns about basic sex ed, none of it getting too in-depth — he slid it across the table, watching as channie’s expectant eyes followed it as he did so. “i made something for you.”

The excitement Yuchan felt over getting a gift, even if it was just paper, was overridden when he saw what exactly what it was: _a packet of information about sex._ Before he could stop himself, he blurted, fingers idly flipping through the pages, "Oh you didn't have to, I figured it out on my own, but thanks Kwannie, I'll still look through it!"  
_Wait, should he have told him that?_ Well, he didn't tell him _how,_ or that Sehyoon was involved, so it was probably fine... He read over the first part and hummed, then looked back up at Kwannie, smiling wide as always. _So he liked a guy, huh? That was so cute!_

wait... what? that stuck byeongkwan as strange, his eyes narrowing as he watched yuchan flip through the pages as his own fingertips tapped on the table, head rested in his other hand — _where would he have learned it? he didn’t have access to the internet at his house, so he couldn’t use his phone to look at anything pertaining to it…_ “oh?” kwannie quipped, blinking his eyes as he drew back some, eyeing the first page of the folder, a small tinge of anxiety building in his gut. “hey, channie... when was the last time you talked to sehyoon? are you guys still hanging out?”

"I talked to him this morning! We're gonna hang out after class today, but I gotta go back to the house first to babysit since it's Monday," Yuchan told him, bouncing in place to stim as he flipped through the packet, observing the contents briefly—why did Kwannie want to know? Well, he _was_ trying to apologise and all, so maybe he wanted to get to know him more. That made sense. "Why do you want to know? He's been busy with work so I haven't seen him since Friday but we've talked every day since, we're gonna go in a hike today because he likes to ride bikes like me, and we're gonna take pictures and draw and stuff, and I was gonna sing for him because he likes music like I do and I haven't done it yet, I'm really excited, I made up an excuse so I could spend all day with him!"

“i was just asking, i’m glad you guys get to see each other again today,” byeongkwan said with genuineness in his tone, the tapping of his fingers getting faster as his stomach growled — this is when he was supposed to be eating lunch, but he spent most of his last paycheck on paying rent and getting something (he shouldn’t have) for junhee, so he had to grin and bear it until he shift was over. “you two seem like you have a lot in common, despite your age gap.”

Yuchan nodded quickly, grinning at the way Byeongkwan was talking about this—he really hoped they could all be friends, he knew that it could be really fun. The thought of hanging out with both of them, doing all the stuff that he'd been talking about, sounded like a blast, but then... he also enjoyed being alone with Sehyoon, especially if they could…  
_Wait, he shouldn't be thinking about this right now._  
"We painted together on Thursday, and I wanted to paint again when we hang out Friday, but I had to go 'cause of babysitting," He wiggled his leg, smiling to himself when the sound Sehni made when he orgasmed came back to his mind. "But we got to talk and hang out for a little bit at least! I've missed him though, so getting to spend all day with him makes me really happy," Getting up, he continued, taking his backpack off to then set it in his chair, "I need to pee, I'll be right back!"

yuchan’s excitement was seemingly warranted with how smitten and infatuated he seemed to be with sehyoon, even if byeongkwan thought that to be too much; they’d just met, after all, and even though that was just channie’s nature, he still felt that signature wariness overtake him as he sat in wait, contemplating... channie did say he and sehyoon had been texting a lot recently, especially over the weekend, so without thinking harder on it, he leaned over the table to dig in the younger boy’s bag, very easily procuring his phone. he already knew his passcode, so that was easy to bypass, and his texting app was _right there,_ the last text between them as recent as ten minutes ago. _fuck, they did text a lot._  
as byeongkwan scrolled through them, a lot of them were mundane and just yuchan oversharing about how he grew up and sehyoon talking about his college courses, and for a moment, he contemplated just leaving it be because it seemed obvious there was nothing to see; then, right as he was about to close out of the app, he saw a text channie had sent sehyoon last night, past his strictly enforced bedtime — _’can we have sex again when i see you tomorrow?’_  
kwannie felt all of the color and life drain from his body, his fingers almost dropping the phone right back onto the table, all of his motions stopping like someone flipped a switch; he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t even feel anything besides a cold chill and his heart beating. he shouldn’t have, he really shouldn’t have, but he needed to see, he _needed to know_ — sehyoon’s reply made him feel like he was going to _puke._  
_‘i want to touch you differently this time, is that ok?’_

 _‘sure!! i was going to ask you the same thing!! i can’t stop thinking about friday (´꒳`)’_  
oh. _oh my god._ he was going fucking kill sehyoon. brutally. maybe even rip his teeth out one by one before he did, make him bleed out on the sidewalk so everyone can know what a dirty fucking _pervert_ he was—  
scrambling with his hands, he moved to shove his phone back into the pocket of yuchan’s bag, trying to wipe the fury off his face, clasping his fingers together as if he were sitting here idly the whole time. _he knew it. he knew sehyoon was just using poor channie for sex. fuck, he wanted to cry, almost, it was so wrong and disgusting._

When Channie came out of the bathroom, he skipped over to his chair and grabbed up his backpack, swinging it on, then stepping the short distance over to Byeongkwan to hug him—he looked a little upset, but Channie just figured he was hungry or something. They'd made up, after all! He'd looked at his watch in the bathroom and saw that he was running behind in getting to the bus, so he said as he hugged him tight, heart beating hard at the knowledge that it was only a few short hours until he saw Sehni again, "I gotta go, Kwannie!! Thank you for trusting me and forgiving me, I love you! I'll text you later okay!!"  
He kissed his cheek, then pulled back, grinning wide; up close, he could see something very _different_ behind Kwannie's eyes, and if he hadn't needed to leave so quickly, he would stay and ask him what was up, but he couldn't—he'd just text him later, that would be okay.

thankfully, channie didn’t seem to notice his change in demeanor, that or he didn’t care, and as byeongkwan watched him skip out of the restaurant to get on the bus towards home, he pushed himself to stand to move over to the staff door, announcing to his manager in the back, “i need to leave early, can anyone take the rest of my shift?”  
that made junhee’s eyes widen as he looked away from rearranging the sauces under the counter, his dark hair hanging in his eyes as he said, “i just came in, i can stay late for you, if— if that’s okay?” then he turned to their manager who had since made her way to the front, eyeing both junhee and byeongkwan with a raised brow.  
“you’re okay with that?” kwannie asked to both junhee and his manager, big, imploring puppy dog eyes the easiest way to win anyone over, and without any further words, his manager gave him the green light to leave; he was quickly clocked out and grabbing his coat from the back, quick on his feet as he headed across the street to campus, junhee waving him goodbye behind him, but he didn’t have it in himself to wave back. not now.  
__

He knew that it would be a little while until Sehyoon got out of class, but the half hour he had to wait until he saw Sehyoon heading to his next class was shorter than he'd thought, the mindless stimming of pacing back and forth making it feel like a millisecond; Kwannie knew the layout of the school moderately since he'd taken tours there when he was thinking of attending, so when he saw Sehyoon leaving the main building to head to the second, he went around a side alley to cut him off, stepping out in front of him with more anger than he'd ever felt in his _life_ seeping from every pore— _it was a good thing it was quiet over here, he'd hate for anyone to see this._ "We need to talk, _now."_ He snapped, hands on his hips and brows knitted together, way too fucking pissed off to care about getting frown lines right now.

the last person sehyoon expected to see on his way to calculus was byeongkwan, his smaller frame stepping out in front of him as if he were trying to trip him, a look of pure umbrage and rage filling his entire expression like a virus, making sehyoon stop immediately in his tracks as he clutched the strap to his bag — _talk?_ that had him nodding, shifting uncomfortably as he dug into the outer pocket of his satchel, pulling his phone out so he could talk to him easier, his bottom lip already quivering — _what did he do..?_

Byeongkwan knew that Sehyoon couldn't really talk, so he let him take his phone out before grabbing him by his arm that was holding the strap of his bag to yank him around to the side of the building, pushing him only mildly aggressively against the brick; he held him there with a hand pressed to his chest, unintentionally making his voice deeper just from how _angry_ he was. "I know you and Yuchan fucked, Sehyoon, I read your fucking texts," He said through near-gritted teeth, a red haze on the corners of his vision. "How could you? How _fucking_ could you take advantage of him like that? He trusts you, and you fucking _use_ him like that? _Do you even know how disgusting that is?"_

a pained whine was yanked out of sehyoon’s chest as byeongkwan shoved him up against the wall, his hazel eyes filled with a fire as he stared up at him, eyebrows furrowed and disparity very obvious in his tone as he spoke; it took sehyoon a long moment to register the words past their vague meaning, making him shift in his place as he fought to breathe, his gaze wide and unblinking as he stood, frozen. _oh my god, byeongkwan knew. he felt sick to his stomach…_ swallowing hard, sehyoon urged byeongkwan off of him the smallest bit so he could type, fingers shaking in their movements, _‘he wanted to know what sex was and was the one that touched me first’_ he knew that trying to explain himself would just make this worse, but byeongkwan had it all _wrong_ — he wasn’t trying to use him, was he? no... he wouldn’t, so what was this terrible ache inside of him? _’we didn’t take our clothes off either’._

_God,_ Kwannie had to fight the urge to smack Sehyoon's phone out of his hand when he read that, the malice that had settled in his veins turning his blood to molten metal— _of course Channie was the one to initiate, he didn't understand what the repercussions were._ He gave Sehyoon another shove and then held him there like that, using _every_ piece of self-restraint he had not to fucking _beat him to a pulp,_ because he knew this guy was autistic, too, just like him and Yuchan, but that _still_ —"It doesn't give you the right to follow through with it, Sehyoon. You _knew_ how young he was, and after that argument we had Friday, you'd think it would've gotten through that thick skull of yours that you shouldn't be engaging with him like that! _You are an adult,_ he is only 17, he _barely_ knows how to interact with people his own age, and you think it's just _okay_ to manipulate him into having sex with you? What, did he give you a kiss on the cheek and tell you that he loves you and that that meant it was okay to fuck?"  
He scoffed and let him go, then stood back, arms crossing over his chest. "Go ahead, try and explain yourself. I'm waiting."

wheezing as he was shoved backwards once again, his shoulder blades started to ache at how tense he had been holding all of his muscles, his throat feeling like it was closing up the longer he and byeongkwan were close, the younger boy’s breath like fire as he exhaled his words into the air, every single one of them holding some semblance of truth and reality; he hadn’t meant to, he really didn’t, but he’d... manipulated channie, hadn’t he? he knew how young he was, how innocent and clueless, too, and he just went along with it, making both of them come from just frotting — _and sehyoon had been getting off on it since, obsessing over the sexual contact of a seventeen year old who barely even knew what sex was._ he felt that familiar burning in his sinuses as he was let go, byeongkwan’s words egging him on as if he were to have a counter argument, but he _didn’t_ — he’d already felt so guilty before, yuchan’s eager reciprocation the only thing keeping him from spiraling, but having kwannie tell him that yes, he was the bad guy here, he accepted it wholly, as if it were his own brain driving the stake right down the middle of his consciousness. lurching forward the smallest bit, his tears began to prick at the corners of his eyes as he shook his head, typing through bleary vision, _‘i didn’t want to hurt him, i didn’t know how to stop him without making him cry but i know that doesn’t mean anything. i’m really sorry’._

Seeing that Sehyoon was starting to cry had Byeongkwan feeling a bit better about things, the apology not _entirely_ what he wanted, but he could field a guess that Sehyoon wasn't exactly in the best place to properly word what he was trying to say; he rolled his eyes and shifted his weight, tone biting even as he ended the conversation, the other's hunched, trembling posture easing his anger with the satisfaction it gave him— _good, he deserved to feel like shit._ "If you're _really_ sorry, you'll stay away from him. Delete his number, block it, ignore him, just _keep_ your fucking disgusting self away from my best friend. Go find some gullible man your own age to take your frustrations out on, huh? And I'll be watching you, too, I work right across the street!"

byeongkwan’s request had sehyoon’s heart sinking to the bottom of his ribcage and every square inch of his skin feeling cold, his grasp tight around his phone as he nodded out of instinct, chewing his tongue inside of his mouth — _stay away... oh my god, that made him feel like crying even harder._ as kwannie moved to separate them, that’s just what he did, warm tears running down his cheeks as he looked down at the ground between them, every part of his body aching with a new pain that was like suffocating from being buried alive in his guilt. yuchan was his only friend, and he... he cared about him, the mere _insinuation_ that he couldn’t see him ever again like being left to bleed out; he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the ground to look at byeongkwan, just merely stood there like he’d been nailed down to the concrete, his steady stream of tears brimming his eyes enough to make him shiver, nausea and something else _terrible_ making a home in his stomach. “i-i— i w-wh-will.” 

"I believe you for once," Byeongkwan said, standing there for just a moment longer to take in Sehyoon's crying frame before he turned on his heel and walked away, deciding to take it easy for the rest of the day—after all, he'd just saved his best friend from a predator. He deserved to relax and treat himself.  
Now he just had to help Channie deal with the fallout.

as he stood there, chills washing over his skin and his sniffles filling the air, sehyoon hugged himself as he tried desperately to come to grips that he couldn’t see yuchan anymore, not even _text him;_ he couldn’t stand that, not even conceptually, but now it was reality, his anxiety and guilt like a black hole that was consuming everything around him, wishing he could go back in time and stop himself from ever touching channie.  
his tears not stopping, sehyoon skipped calculus class.  
__

Sehyoon was ignoring him.  
Yuchan had been texting him off and on since he'd gotten home, and then more often when the younger kids laid down for their naps; none of them had been read, nor had he even seen Sehyoon's little icon show up as online—maybe he was busy? He tried not to jump to conclusions and did his best to stay calm, merely going about his business doing his chores and homework and whatnot, forcing himself to hyperfixate on that and not the dark, sinking feeling that was dragging all of his organs down through his feet, even though he desperately wanted to. _What if something bad had happened?_  
He ended up leaving the second his foster parents got home for the college, sitting inside the McDonald's at the closest booth to the windows that faced it and waiting; Byeongkwan wasn't here like he was supposed to be and that only made that feeling even worse, his brows dipped up and his everything shaking, each minute that his texts went unread worsening the black hole that had formed in his stomach.  
After an hour, he couldn't wait any longer.  
Yuchan ran the entire two blocks to Sehyoon's apartment complex and made the trek up to his door with trembling hands and a permanent expression of fear and worry painted on his face, tears brimming in his eyes as he knocked repeatedly on his door, then texted him over and over: _'are you home? where are you? please answer me im worried. was it something i did? im sorry, please just say something. are you hurt? did you die? what did i do wrong? do you hate me?'_  
"Sehyoon... _please,"_ He whined into the air of the hallway that had become stifling, nothing about this making any sense at _all._

ignoring yuchan was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his _life._  
at first, he almost let himself crack to respond to his texts, but as they kept lighting up his screen over and over and over, growing more frantic with each passing hour, he couldn’t take it anymore — he turned his phone off completely and stuffed it in his school bag, avoiding it altogether so he didn’t have to face the reality of it. _if he could just tell channie was sorry, maybe that would get rid of this sinking feeling in his gut. maybe that would make it easier for him to stop crying._  
he had been getting changed into his pajamas with a massive, crying-induced headache when he heard knocking at his door, making his head whip up as he pulled his sweatpants over his hips, his eyes wide; he didn’t hear anything further after that, so he shuffled over to place his palms flat on the door, closing one of his eyes to look through the peephole. oh. _oh no._ the tight, tugging feeling only intensified as he saw yuchan’s curled up, pained looking frame with his head hung low on his shoulders, not even stimming with his zippers or tapping his feet, just... holding himself, tense as he shivered, and at that, sehyoon stumbled backwards, every thought going blank in his mind as he started to cry again — it wasn’t just tears this time, it was painful and _wailing,_ his balance giving out and forcing him to fall back onto his ass, his arms encircling his legs as he wholly wept, hating himself more than he ever had before.  
why was he so terrible? how could he hurt channie like this? _and why did he miss him so, so badly?_

Through the door, Channie could hear crying, his face lighting up for only a second before it dipped down again at the way Sehyoon was sobbing— _it sounded like he was dying._ He rushed forward and knocked harder, then began to pound, raising his voice so his soulmate friend could hear him through the wood, "Sehyoon, please, I can hear you in there, let me in! We can talk, I-I can help you with why you're crying, just— _please, Sehni!"_  
From across the hall, one of Sehyoon's neighbors opened their door and barked through the crack, voice very clearly angry, "Hey, can you shut the fuck up? The guy never talks anyway, just give it a rest already!"  
Channie whined and stopped knocking, his entire body deflating to rest against the door, hand lowering back to his side, his tears finally rolling down his cheeks. _God, this fucking sucked._ "I-I'm sorry," He said in a quiet voice, to which the neighbor responded with a slamming of his door, making Channie wince and whine once more.  
Maybe they were right.  
Maybe he should just give it up.

channie’s desperate pleading and pounding on the door had sehyoon’s frame collapsing in on itself as he pulled his knees against his chest, wishing so desperately that he could swing the door open and bring the other boy into his arms, to let him nuzzle against his hairline and kiss his cheek, to listen to him talk about anything and everything; he’d made a promise to byeongkwan, to show he was really, truly guilty, he had to stay away. he didn’t know what he would do if he hurt yuchan like this again, and besides — kwannie was here first and he knew best, and he had no right to separate them, no matter how badly this hurt for the both of them. as he cried, he started to feel nauseous, his nails digging into his knees as he buried his face among them, breaths shuddering as he desperately tried to get himself to stop, to just get over it, they barely knew each other, didn’t they?  
_no, he knew yuchan. and he knew that he needed to stay away from him._  
the silence from the other side of the door was both comforting and deafening, even though hearing his asshole of a neighbor scream at channie didn’t ease in how he felt in the slightest, and in this moment, he wouldn’t give the smallest bit of a shit if he just rotted to death in his apartment. 

For a minute, Yuchan just stood there outside Sehyoon's door, his forehead resting against the cool surface as he sobbed quietly, his heart feeling like it had been ripped out of his chest and his brain splitting in half as though physically torn from the _pain_ he was feeling, having someone he cared about so deeply treat him like he was nothing. Had what they shared meant nothing? The friendship, their compatibility, the hours upon hours of discussing everything and nothing, their plans, the... the sex…  
_Had it all just been for the sex? But then, why was he crying like that?_  
His tears burned down his face to stain his cheeks and his throat felt like it was on fire, breaths staggering and his body fighting the urge to just curl into a ball—not here, not now. It could wait until he got home. "I-I'm leaving," He stated, trembling voice somehow managing to speak up. "And Sehyoon, if... if I don't hear from you tomorrow, just... just know you're really hurting me, and I—" He squeezed his eyes shut, bit his lip, then continued, voice even more pathetic than before, "And I love you. But if you don't say anything, then I never... I never want to hear from you again. Okay?"  
_He didn't want that, just the fucking thought wringing more tears from his eyes,_ but if Sehyoon wanted to just ditch him like this, then there wasn't anything he could do about it.  
Turning towards the elevators, Channie headed back home, bawling his eyes out the entire way there. 

upon hearing yuchan’s barely-there words, sehyoon was breathing out shaking, shuddering breaths, his expression twisted up pathetically as he yanked fistfuls of his hair, reverting back to his earliest stim from when he was a child, pulling out some strands as he shook his head over and over — he felt like he was going to explode, everything was too much, _this_ was too much, and as he heard faint footsteps take off, he knew that yuchan was gone, giving him the green light to slap himself on the wrist, the stinging reminding him that he needed to get a _grip._  
_‘i love you’_ was the drove that stuck like glue inside of sehyoon’s brain, overtaking all of his thoughts as he hyperfixated on it, all of channie’s words adding up to he like a knife to his chest, his own irresponsible, heartless self twisting the blade over and over to make him bleed out. the worst part, arguably, is that from the sound of it, yuchan didn’t even understand _why_ sehyoon was doing this, or that it was byeongkwan that implored it of him, forcing them apart like cutting the red string that connected their fingers, severing all of their ties from here on out. deep down, he felt channie’s pain in every recess, his own brain wandering to try and console him, to maybe tell him in a falsehood that someday they could reconcile, that he could see yuchan just one more time to say sorry for everything — but he knew that couldn’t be, he knew it wasn’t possible. _it ached. everything ached. why did this hurt so badly? worse than any kind of goodbye he’s ever known?_  
“f-fff—fu- _fuck!”_  
__  
—

Yuchan spent the following few days to a week after Sehyoon's ghosting in a daze.  
Byeongkwan had texted him when he got home from Sehyoon's apartment, but he didn't respond, instead turning his phone off so he could lie in bed fully clothed instead, staring at the blank wall until he heard his foster mom calling him for dinner; he made up an excuse that he wasn't feeling well so he wouldn't be bothered, then merely laid in bed all night and into the next day—he didn't go to school, nor did he turn his phone back on. The pain in his stomach from not having eaten in an entire day was _nothing_ in comparison to how fucking broken his heart was, the agony comparable only to the grief he'd felt when his first foster mom died, and truthfully, it'd been a lot like this—the laying, loss of appetite, and darkness. It was as though his very DNA had been deconstructed and then put back together wrong, like he'd been shoved into an alternate dimension where nothing was right or real, everyone and everything he'd ever known lacking colour and meaning. He had no thoughts, yet so many were racing through his mind that carried the same word over and over: _Sehyoon, Sehyoon, Sehyoon._  
Channie knew that there had to be something more as to why he was feeling this way—he'd had to say goodbye to friends before, but it was _never_ like this. He'd been sad, but this... this was _horrendous,_ a sense of loss and emptiness he'd never known, so terrible and all-consuming that he couldn't even cry, he was just— _numb._  
On Wednesday, he went back to school; the amount of make-up work he had was abysmal, but it helped to get his mind off things, as well as the extra time he had to spend watching his foster siblings, plus all the chores he hadn't completed, so he stayed busy until Friday, whereupon he finally showered and cleaned his room, his fresh state and productiveness not at all helping him to feel better about things, even though he tried _so hard_ for them to, it was just— _impossible._ Nothing was working, nothing was making it hurt less or helping him forget, as though it were a parasite eating him from the inside out, forcing him to relive those memories of standing outside Sehyoon's door hearing wail, yet never answering him.  
And then his foster parents told him he was being adopted.  
It was very sudden, since adoptions, he knew, took many months, sometimes years, but according to his case worker everything had gone smoothly, and he was set to meet them for the first time on Monday after school, and then he'd be moving in the day afterwards. The family was in the next town over, which meant he'd have to acclimate to a new school, and he wouldn't be able to see Kwannie, but maybe... this was all a good thing.  
He could start over, and forget about Sehyoon. The pain was too unbearable, anyway.

this last week was _excruciating._  
as badly as sehyoon wanted to skip out on his classes because just working was bad enough, he couldn’t bring himself to, not after how it felt sitting alone in his apartment crying himself stupid for an entire day — it was draining, mentally and physically, even having to extend the effort to get out of bed in the morning, to even eat. breathing felt heavy, heavier than his sleep-foregone eyelids, and every time he was without a distraction, his mind wandered to places it shouldn’t go, just making him that much more _miserable;_ he kept worrying about channie, about more than just their relationship together, it was deeper — anxiety gnawed a pit into his stomach the more the thought about it as if he were being physically eaten alive by his own thoughts. was channie okay? was he getting in trouble? was he still crying? sehyoon didn’t know what was worse, yuchan forgetting about him or not, and as he sat in his english class on wednesday, completely drained and feeling like he was about to pass out from sleep-exhaustion, he tapped his pencil against the newest drawing he’d done — it was, of course, the subject of his agony, but he couldn’t stop himself from indulging in it, drawing them both. he was never one for self portraits, but this wasn’t _exactly_ one; it was a doodle of them sitting on the bed in his apartment, hands overlapping and legs tangled, channie’s lips on his cheek as they both laughed about everything and nothing, almost like he was recounting a dream he’d had. the longer he stared, the worse it felt, but something in his inner consciousness kept him from throwing it out, even if he wanted to claw at it and cut up his hands with the stiffness of the paper. he deserved that pain more than anything.  
after the dragging, agonizing length of his english class was over, he had a bit of time before he had to go to his behavioral therapy to get something to eat, even though he didn’t want anything to do with it; he barely picked at his chips and drank a sip or two of his coffee, the taste of everything just feeling like acid down his throat to churn his stomach and make him feel like puking. he contemplated just skipping therapy class altogether, mostly because he knew he wasn’t going to get anything out of it, not now — his mental space was too closed off.  
as he searched through his bag for his overdue calculus homework, he fingered through the stack of papers before he stopped short in the middle of it, his index and thumb fingers procuring the laminated sheet out of the pile so he could eye it; he knew what it was before he looked at it, and the realization made his heart sink down to his ribcage as he read the name on top of the still-blank form, _kang yuchan_. he had been holding onto it for selfish reasons, but now he didn’t even have a chance to give it to channie even though he needed it to get anywhere in the class, to get himself help, unless... the idea that popped into sehyoon’s head was probably a stupid one, and he knew deep down he shouldn’t even attempt in fear of byeongkwan gutting him like a fish and hanging him out to dry for even _thinking_ of getting close to yuchan, but... this was a good reason. channie needed this paper, and it was all sehyoon could do to return it.  
slipping out of the bench seat of the cafe, sehyoon shoved the piece of paper back into his bag, hopping to his feet as he decided to make an actual use of the two hours before his class; he didn’t know without a doubt which high school yuchan went to, but he could safely assume that it was the one closest to his own school, so as he took off, he forced himself to not let his emotions wander and get excited about seeing yuchan again — he wasn’t allowed that luxury, especially not after what he’d done.  
the trek wasn’t long, but his restless eyes and panging stomach weren’t exactly aiding in it being a smooth one, and as he scaled the steps to the front entrance, he swallowed his spit hard as he pushed the doors open, immediately spotting a sign that pointed to the main office, urging him to take a sharp turn right in the direction of it, no thoughts in his head except warm, excited ones at the concept of seeing channie, a mental slap on the wrist following soon after — _it was just about the paper, nothing else_. the two women behind the large desk looked at him with raised brows as he entered the office, his fist clutching the strap of his bag as one of them asked, “can i help you?”  
_dammit, sehyoon’s phone was turned off and shoved in the outer pocket of his bag, and he refused to see the texts channie had left him, not right now._ well, speech therapy, don’t fail him now... “i-i— am h-he-he- _here_ to... uh-uhm—“ the eyes the woman had on him felt stifling, and as he forced his own gaze from his shoes to her eyes, he started again, “g-g-gi-give thi _sss_ to kan— kang yu-yuchan.” then he unzipped his bag to hand the woman the paper, his eyes wide and chest heaving as she took it into her hands, looking over it with a neutral expression.  
“and you are?” she asked, painted red lips pursed as she awaited sehyoon’s answer, “do you know him?”  
“h-hi-his br- _brother.”_  
“i see. i can give this to him at the end of the day.” she replied, beginning to move her long nail adorned fingers on her keyboard, “unless he needs it right now. i can call him down to the office.”  
nodding in reply, sehyoon tapped his foot even faster, his wide eyes unblinking as she leaned over to grab what looked like a line to the intercom, calling over it for yuchan to come down to the office, the feedback of it almost deafening once she was done.  
_he didn’t know if he could handle seeing him again._

Fifteen minutes before class was set to end, Yuchan was spacing out in his biology class, not at all paying attention to anything that had been happening over the past 45 minutes—he was supposed to see his new family today, and even though he should've been excited about it, he wasn't. All of his thoughts were preoccupied with nothing but Sehyoon, as much as he didn't want them to be, his pretty face and kind voice all he'd been able to think about since last week, when all of that had happened. He was mad at Sehyoon, _pissed,_ but at the same time, he missed him so desperately that, if he ever saw him again, he didn't know if he'd have the guts to sock him right in the face like he wanted to. _Why was this bothering him so badly, to the point that he was failing his classes now?_  
Channie was snapped out of his own head by his teacher nudging his shoulder and telling him to go down to the office, because he was being called; he nodded, then gathered his things, wondering who it could be that was calling him out of class—his foster parents never pulled him out of school... Maybe it was his case worker?  
At any rate, he headed down the hall, then out of the building and across the courtyard to the main one right across from it, entering, then turning left to get to the office—  
When his gaze found the door at the end of the hallway, from where he was standing ten feet away, he saw Sehyoon waiting for him.  
Every single emotion he'd ever known and even more he didn't rushed to the front of his body, running up to gather in his tear ducts, immediately forming tears that ran down his cheeks; he was frozen in place, gripping the straps of his backpack so tightly his knuckles were white— _did he run? Did he go see what he wanted? Why was he here? Was he dreaming?_

he didn’t exactly need to stand here and wait for yuchan to show up, that made clear by the woman holding the paper after he’d loitered for a few minutes, and deep down, that hurt his feelings terribly, a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow down at the reality of just how close he was to seeing channie again — turning on his heel, he pushed through the door with his head low as he slowly made his way out to the hall, fingers fiddling with the ends of his hair that hung in his eyes; as he lifted his gaze to make sure he didn’t run into anything, everything around him went silent and his breaths stopped short in his chest, a small gasp falling from his lips as he blinked his wide eyes at the sight before him — _oh my god, it was channie._ he stood there frozen for a moment, mouth agape and body feeling cold at the tears that were rolling down the younger boy’s face, his visage mucked up into something terrible and pained, and for a split second, he almost let himself throw his bag to the floor and bring him up against his chest, kissing and nosing into his hair—  
he didn’t, though, just merely whimpered from his chest, his eyebrows spooned and entire body feeling like it was about to collapse in on itself. _he was the one making yuchan cry like that. he was the reason he was hurting._ oh my god, this felt like _dying._

_Sehyoon looked just as shocked as he was._ Why did that make Yuchan's heart lurch?  
Without even realising that he was speaking, he choked out, voice barely audible past their distance, "S-Sehyoon?"  
He should run. He'd _told_ him that he never wanted to see him again, but the full-body _ache_ that he felt being so close to him that settled in his bones, just a few _feet_ from each other, had him planted firmly in place, too scared to move any further. _What if he hurt him again? But being apart was like dying._ "W... what are you doing here?"

sehyoon had still been holding onto the paper in a spare hand after being given it back, and as channie answered that question, his voice small and painfully obvious in the way it showed how he felt, he feared he might just break down and cry himself, shaking his head loosely to urge the burning of his eyes to stop; he held the paper out to channie, shifting in where he stood as he swiped his tongue along his bottom lip, not being able to look at his face any longer — it just hurt too much, he couldn’t take it. he tried to speak, but all of his thoughts jumbled behind his tongue before he could, and before he knew it, his sinuses were stinging and tears were forming in the corners of his eyes, bleeding into his vision.  
_why did it have to be like this when they both so clearly wanted to be close again?_

The paper that had been held out to him had his name on it, and when Channie came closer and took it into his grasp, he read the top—behavioural therapy. _How long had he been holding onto this?_ "What..." He began, then shook his head repeatedly, holding it back out to him; he wasn't going to be living here anymore, there was no point for him to fill this out, even if the knowledge that Sehyoon had held onto this for him for so long turned his insides into mush. "I don't need it. I'm moving, I got adopted last week."  
_He was going to be so far away from everyone..._ Was this all Sehni had come here for, or was there more? Did he want to apologise? Maybe... maybe even be with him again? Channie couldn't find it in him to ask.

_...what?_  
as much as it hurt him, sehyoon lifted his head to place his gaze on yuchan, everything inside of his brain coming to a standstill as he examined his face; for a long moment, those words didn’t register, but once they did, he managed to stutter out, “a-ah-adopt..?” _but wasn’t yuchan almost eighteen? who would adopt him so close to him getting out of the system?_ he took the paper back to hold it close to his chest, the burning of holding back his tears edging on painful, and before he could stop it, his cheeks were glistening with them, his grasp clutching the laminated form as he fought to keep his balance — he didn’t need to completely break down in front of yuchan, that was the last thing he wanted. _but he wanted to talk to him so badly, he wanted to say sorry, he wanted to make it up to him_. as he slipped the paper into his bag, he grabbed his phone to turn it on, the vibrations of dozens of texts flooding in feeling like it was rattling his bones as swiped past them to open up his notes app, _‘i wanted to say i’m sorry’._

Yuchan's shoulders slumped seeing Sehyoon's reaction to the knowledge that he was moving, his small, sweet voice barely audible when he asked that—if he hated him, then why was he acting like that? He read the message he'd typed, but pushed his arm away and down to his side, chewing his lip as he stared down at him, every part of himself wound tight, being so close; it really felt like he couldn't breathe, like every single atom was vibrating at a frequency unknown to him, as though trying to match with Sehyoon's own. _He wished he knew what this feeling was, what it was that he felt for Sehni..._ "Sorry for breaking my heart?" He began, crossing his arms over his chest, then turning away slightly to bring his gaze down to the ground—it hurt too much to look at him. "Then why'd you do it in the first place? I thought you loved me, Sehyoon, was it really all just about having sex with me?"

sehyoon promptly took a hand to outstretch and grab yuchan’s shoulder to divert his attention up to him, his answer to his questions being a shake of his head as he whined, his tears not really showing a sign of stopping — could he really admit that it was byeongkwan? that he told him to stay away? he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at him either, because he was just trying to protect channie, since he was so vulnerable and easy to sway, he didn’t need someone like sehyoon around to... _‘it was never about the sex’_ he typed to show yuchan, then yanked it back to add onto the end of it, _‘i left because i had to, i’m too old for you and i’ll just hurt you in the end’._

Frowning, Channie read the message and turned up his mouth into a confused pout, the arms he'd crossed tightening against himself, like he was trying to pull himself away. "Too old to be my friend? What does age have to do with anything? If you're just gonna lie to me, then I don't want to hear it, I'm supposed to see my new family today, so it's not like we're ever gonna see each other again, anyway!" His voice came out much meaner than he'd anticipated, all of his anger and hurt injecting itself into his words as he spat them out at Sehyoon like venom; he was talking like Byeongkwan, like he had been for the past week, telling him that Sehyoon really _was_ using him—he never wanted to believe it, but now...  
_What did age have to do with it? Why was what happened so bad? Why wouldn't anyone just tell him anything?_

that had sehyoon’s lip trembling as his tears fell with more resolute, his grasp on his phone tightening as he wiped his eyes with a sleeve of his sweater, the fabric just irritating him more — channie had every right to be mad, to use there terrible, vicious tone, to never want to see him ever again, but that didn’t make the reality of it any easier to swallow, sehyoon feeling like if he moved he might just fall over and never get back up. his shoulders stiffened as he wholly cried, the mere _concept_ of never seeing yuchan again like burning all the way through his consciousness, every happy memory they’d had together like it was being physically, vehemently tainted, and as sehyoon stared down at his phone screen, he forced himself to reply. _‘i’m not lying when i say i miss you. i hope your new family treats you well’._

Even though he didn't want to, Yuchan read the words on Sehyoon's screen, the word "miss" like it was biting him directly in the heart, every part of himself coiling around it to seep it into his bloodstream; he started to cry again, tears flowing faster than he could wipe them away, and as the bell rang to signal the end of the school day, he looked at Sehyoon past the bleariness and said, "You don't get to."  
Students poured out into the halls, and Channie took off running for the bus, almost falling over from the force of his sobs.  
_God, he just wished he'd never met him_.

sehyoon felt like he going to explode as he watched yuchan walk away, the words he’d spat in his face barely holding any feasible weight as he let himself get lost in his own overstimulating consciousness, the sound of teenagers flooding the halls just worsening it like he’d been punched in the gut — he clutched the strap to his bag as he turned on his heel to leave, quickly shuffling out of the school and tripping the smallest bit on the steps as he hurried home, ready to sit in the shower and cry until the water ran cold. he shouldn’t have ever talked to yuchan, he knew that he was selfish and only liked people for sex, that was the whole _concept_ behind porn and he _liked_ that, so — god, he was so _disgusting._ his chest ached like he’d been punched to the point of losing his breath, the arid wind biting the tears on his cheek like ice.  
_why couldn’t he just be normal?_  
__  
—

The names of Yuchan's new parents were Min Jisu and Dylan Lander—they were two high-powered business people that worked overseas in South Korea as a consultant/translator and an auditor for a big, important company. They had four children: two twins, Jin and Jen that were four, the middle child Trinity that was ten, and then an eldest that he didn't know, but apparently was in college. In the short period of time that he got to meet his parents, he could already tell that they were very cold and standoffish, and then, when they brought him home and he was given a gigantic, overwhelming list of things to do to and when to do them, he realised just why exactly they'd adopted him: he was their full-time babysitter.  
Yuchan wanted to be upset. He did. He wanted to be sad and heartbroken about being torn away from the only life and people he'd ever known just to be some rich couple's maid and childcare service, but... at this point, he was just happy to get his own room, to be able to eat whenever he wanted, and be able to use the internet, which was something he'd never used outside of school. There were two computers in his parents' offices that he wasn't allowed to touch, but Trinity had her own tablet and he was given a brand new, shiny smartphone to use, as well, so he was able to surf the internet on that.  
His first week was very, very rough—he didn't know how to cook, so he spent a lot of his time learning how to do so with the help of Trinity and her tablet. All three children were very kind and respectful; Jin was quiet and didn't eat much, but Jen was hyper and always had the biggest servings of food, and Trinity was smart and mature and helped Channie learn how to use all the new smart appliances that they had in the kitchen, and she also taught him the basics of how to use a phone and the internet. "You'll figure most of it out yourself, it's not hard," She'd told him, and sure enough, Channie did just that.  
Their parents were never around, in fact he hadn't seen them in a month, since they'd first dropped him off at home; they'd given him a credit card and told him to use it for groceries and "whatever the children needed", so he also had to learn how to use that, as well as how to call an Uber so he could go and get said things. There was a thing he'd heard of called Youtube that Trinity told him about, which he spent a lot of time on watching videos about shopping, cooking, cleaning, organising, just things in general that dealt with running a household. It was stressful, since he also had to deal with going to a new school on top of everything... He spent a lot of time crying because of it, all of the expectations that had been placed on him so suddenly when he was already dealing with something emotionally, especially since he hadn't even been given the chance to even _kind_ of start to grieve over losing his best, soulmate friend. It dampened his spirit a _lot,_ expended every ounce of his energy and kept him up late into the night studying and cooking, pre-making little meals in Tupperwares for his new siblings to eat when they got home from school—the twins had just started preschool, so he thankfully didn't have to skip school to take care of them.  
After that initial month, Yuchan had started to find a rhythm, allowing him some free time to _himself_ for once; the constant hustle and bustle had allowed him the pleasure of not thinking about Sehyoon for longer than a minute, but with his gradual gain in time for himself after all the chores were done and he was settled in for bed six hours before school started, he got to thinking— _just why exactly did it still hurt so bad, after all this time?_  
Research told him that he was in love, but he didn't exactly know what that meant, nor what it entailed; he didn't have enough time to do much more than look up what love felt like, so whenever he put a movie on for the kids to watch during dinner whilst he cleaned the kitchen, he made sure they were romantic ones, so he could learn about it.  
It was safe to say that he finally understood why he missed Sehyoon so badly.  
He'd wanted to text him the night that he'd realised it all while he was laying in bed—he'd even written him an extremely long letter in his notes app, but the day that they'd last seen each other, he'd deleted his number. So, unfortunately, he was forced to deal with his new understanding of feelings on his own, a torrential hurricane inside of him that made it hard to breathe, even when he wasn't thinking about it.  
_Channie missed him, so badly._  
__

Another month and a half, and it was almost Christmas; Thanksgiving and been spent very briefly with their parents, all of them going out to see a movie before getting KFC for dinner (which Channie was thankful for since he didn't have to cook), but it had ended on kind of a sour note due to Yuchan's talking—he'd gotten snapped at _very_ aggressively by his mom for it, and he spent the rest of the evening near tears. Hopefully Christmas wasn't like that, now that he knew he wasn't allowed to talk...  
In the past couple of weeks, he'd learned more about himself and his body in ways he hadn't been able to previously, now that he had the internet and Byeongkwan's pamphlet about sex; he watched a lot of porn and informative videos about how it worked with both men and women, and spent a lot of time in the shower and bathroom learning new ways to touch himself—he'd found that he liked to edge, as well as be teased, and those few precious moments were really the only time he ever truly got to pamper himself. The information helped him a lot in understanding just why Kwannie had been so adamant about him and Sehyoon not being together, as well as why Sehni had decided to stop seeing him, telling him that he was too old; at the time, he didn't get it, but now that he knew what he did and was more mature in ways he'd never thought he'd be, he couldn't be angry. Not anymore. Now, he just missed Sehyoon desperately, missed his scent and his smile and the time they'd spent together—most of all, he just wanted to say he was sorry. If he could go back in time and maybe make them end on a better note, he would, but for now, he could only hope that they'd eventually see each other again...  
Christmas break had just begun, and according to his parents and his siblings, the famed eldest child was supposed to be staying for the holidays; his parents weren't in town yet, but Yuchan had cleaned up and made dinner anyway, just in time for him to arrive around six in the evening—he had his own car, which was really cool. All of the kids were very excited, so by the time Channie was opening the door to help him inside with all his things, they were rushing out to give him a hug.  
Wait a second. "Min Yoongi?" He said in surprise, wide eyes staring straight at the quiet kid from his behavioural therapy class, though now his hair was white, and when he looked at him over the kids that were currently glommed onto him, he said with an equal amount of surprise,  
"Kang Yuchan?"  
__

the last couple months have been thoroughly putting sehyoon through the wringer, both mentally and physically.  
initially, the worst part was the empty, gnawing black hole of sadness inside of him from the loss of yuchan, something that gripped his every single thought and action, overtaking his daily life in a millisecond, rendering any excitement or joy he’d usually draw out of his hobbies completely useless and almost like a direct mocking to his pain, just making it worse in the end. for a few weeks, he continued his classes as normal, attending the speech therapy he so desperately needed almost everyday when he had an opening to between school and work; it was helping decently, although he still struggled with his stutter, something he apparently needed just more time in therapy for, which didn’t excite him too wholly — although he didn’t miss the time he spent by himself just loathing his entire being, he _would_ like to at least sleep sometimes.  
he shouldn’t have wished that, because on one of the days he wanted to just be home the most, he spilled an entire washbucket filled with vomit-soiled mop water all over the front of an elderly woman because he wasn’t watching where he was going. he hadn’t meant to, he really didn’t, and he didn’t even have an explanation as to what his brain was even fixated on, but being completely spaced out helped ease the blow of his manager chewing him out in front of everyone, actually close to raising a hand at him as he told him to never come back to work again. also something about how he ‘didn’t even know why he gave a paycheck to such a retarded manchild’, but sehyoon had heard all of it before, so the biggest blow was to his daily life as he knew it — he had some money in savings, of course he did due to his anxious nature, but that was only enough to pay rent for the next two months if he didn’t eat, drink, or go outside at all. he’d written up budget pages in his new influx of free time to keep his mind from digging a pit in his stomach once more with just how much he missed channie; really, he’d found a ton of useless, time-consuming hobbies that forced his thoughts away from him, things like learning how to sew or watching tons upon tons of whatever netflix wanted to recommend him — a genre of movie he found he really liked was romance, even though he never understood it as a kid, it was nice to see people be happy and in love, just like… like…  
yeah, in the time he had alone, he had tons of opportunities to figure out just why the feeling of loss and endless pain in his chest never seemed to wane — he was in love. _in_ love, not just loving someone, which he had come to realize were two different things, apparently; he loved painting, but he was _in love_ with yuchan, the fluttering feelings still fighting their way to the forefront even past all of the sinking, but this realization meant nothing to him, not now. it was too late. he could assume channie deleted his phone number, and that was definitely for good reason, so now he couldn’t send him any texts at all, every single one being accompanied by a notification that it couldn’t be delivered. _god, that stung so badly, he couldn’t even describe it in words._  
the guilt of what he’d done still hadn’t left, but he was feeling a bit better in the head about it now; after bringing it up to his therapist who politely reassured her that sex was entirely normal, especially if you were in love, it was like an entire world’s worth of weight was lifted off of his shoulders and he could breathe again, almost so ecstatic that he could feel his heart skip beats in his chest, but… as badly as he wanted to, he couldn’t tell yuchan, he couldn’t probably apologize, he couldn’t do anything about it except keep the knowledge that he wasn’t evil or broken close to his heart. it was new, not feeling scared of guilty of his own body, but every single time he would go to touch himself, there would only be one thing on his mind — that perfect, sweet, talkative, beautiful ball of sunshine named kang yuchan and the way his body felt on top of his, how his voice would arch up in that adorable way; he shouldn’t indulge, but that was his favorite memory by far, and it always made him feel so good that he came close to crying. though, it didn’t help in easing the agony of missing him so badly it physically ached; nothing did.  
the late fall transitioned into the early winter, christmas time approaching quicker than he could imagine, small bouts of snow signaling its arrival; he should have been with his family this year, but they were going to a ski resort up north, so he agreed to just meet them for a dinner later in the week, something a lot less strenuous and anxiety inducing — he needed to work on his speech therapy, too, practicing how to control himself when in a verbal communication setting, saying words over and over to get them right, then about a hundred times after that, too, making complete sure that he wasn’t messing them up. he needed this for a new job, and he wasn’t about to let himself lose the opportunity like he’d lost everything he wanted in the past months.  
as he was sitting down at his desk to finally draw, he had since gotten distracted, his hair that was long enough now to need to be tied back in a ponytail messily hanging over his eyes as he scanned his apartment with a vying nature, that familiar anxiety nestling in his frame — what was he going to do if he didn’t get a job soon? would he have to quit school? would he have to go live with his parents hours away?  
he’d have to take down all of the paintings and pictures yuchan helped him hang on the wall, too. _fuck._

By the time the turkey was done and it'd grown much darker outside, Yuchan and Yoongi had gotten to know each other a little better, and he came to learn that he wasn't the first person to be stuck as the caretaker while their parents were gone; before Yoongi had started his junior year, he was the one that took care of his brother and sisters, and had only managed to escape when he moved into the dorms at his university, much to the protesting of his parents. Yoongi hadn't been told at all about his parents adopting a new child, least of all _Yuchan,_ so it made sense that he was a little confused when he was greeted at the door to his house by someone he saw once two and a half months prior.  
Like Sehyoon, Yoongi didn't talk much, so he was told all of this through text while their siblings eagerly helped them set the table—their parents had texted saying they were nearby, so they wanted to make sure everything was ready before they got there. He'd also been told, right before they heard the key in the lock, that their parents didn't believe in autism, either, so to try and find himself down.  
Unfortunately, Channie had already figured that out.  
__

Dinner went... smoothly, kind of, Yoongi and Channie only being scolded once for forgetting to breathe the wine they'd brought, as well as not serving the twins first; after that, it was mostly just gift-giving and opening (Channie received nothing, as he'd mostly expected), Yoongi getting money, Trinity a laptop, new airpods, and a necklace, and the twins a bunch of new toys that Channie knew they wouldn't play with—Jen was way too hyperactive to focus on one thing like blocks, and Jin much preferred reading to playing. He chewed his lip as he watched, standing at the ready to get any of them anything he needed, hands fidgeting behind his back to keep his stimming out of sight, desperately fighting the urge to say something about the gifts— _he shouldn't, he really shouldn't, he'd get in trouble._ "Uh-uhm," He began, shifting his weight, "If I... could say, Mrs. Min, that... Jen would get better use out of something like a bike, or maybe some finger paints, and Jin might like some more books—"  
Yoongi nudged his side _hard_ and Channie promptly shut up, but just as he did, Mrs. Min turned to him as she stood from the sofa, her pristine pantsuit being swiftly wiped down with her manicured hands. "And why do you say that, Yuchan?" She asked, adjusting her glasses on her nose bridge.  
Channie's brows dipped and he fidgeted faster, opening his mouth to speak, but then Yoongi cut in, "He didn'th mean anything by it, Mother—"  
She looked at Yoongi and held up a finger as if to shush him. "I wasn't talking to you, Yoongi."  
Yoongi bit his tongue and looked away, his hands shoving themselves into the pockets of his jeans; Channie looked back at Mrs. Min to try and maintain eye contact, but he couldn't make himself hold it, his gaze darting between the floor and her cheeks. "I-I just think they'd do better with different toys, because Jin really likes to read, and Jen has a lot of energy that she's not... utilising—"  
Mrs. Min slapped him straight across the face, her long nails scratching three deep marks into the flesh of his cheek; he whimpered and stumbled backwards, Yoongi catching him before he fell to the ground, their mother snapping, "Let go of him, Yoongi."  
_It hurt, his face hurt,_ but his heart hurt worse, all of the stress that had been put on him from caring for the household and his siblings, a new school where he was failing, parents that hated him, losing his life, _everything,_ and in that moment, Yuchan knew nothing but the thing he knew best—  
_Running._

the last thing sehyoon expected today was a knock at his door, frantic and like it was a matter of life and death, making his eyebrows furrow and his glasses slide down his nose as he lifted his head from his drawing, cocking his hips as he turned off the music playing from his phone; then he heard it again, and again, urging him to stand up and stride the few short steps towards the door, his hands fidgeting with the bottom of his t-shirt as he tried to quell his anxiety; no one ever knocked on his door, not his neighbors, not his family, and he didn’t have any _friends,_ so when he inched closer and closed an eye to look through the peephole to see channie, crying and face covered in scratches, everything stopped. it was like everything went white, and for a moment, it was like he was moving in a trance, his hand mindlessly meeting the doorknob to unlock it, yanking the door open to be met face-to-face with the younger, his fidget obvious in his frame as he shook in his hands, the urge to reach out and touch him _unbearable._ “yuchan?” he said without stutter (it was the word he practiced the most), eyes wide and his mouth hanging open as they made eye contact, so many thoughts zipping through his brain: how did he get here? why was he crying? what were those scratches, and who the hell caused them? _why?_ “wh-what happ-happe _nnned_ to y-y-you?” 

Yuchan had no idea where he was going.  
His new family lived in the next town over, and Channie had never even been out of his _own_ town before, so he really had no idea where anything was; he found a bus station about twenty minutes from his house sprinting, whereupon he stopped in to ask if they ran towards his hometown, and they did, so he whipped out the last of the money he had and paid the fare, sitting directly behind the driver the entire fifteen minute ride.  
After that, he hopped off and looked around, trying to gain an idea of just where the hell he was, and he kind of recognised it as being somewhere near his foster home—  
_Wait. What if they send him back?_  
Panic set in and Channie started to run again, going completely on instinct to anywhere he recognised, past his high school, the college, and the McDonald's, all the way into the lobby of an apartment building and up the stairs, and by the time he managed to recognise where he was, Sehyoon was opening the door to his apartment. They made eye contact, and Sehni said _something,_ but all Channie could even think to do was fucking _bawl;_ he hated everything, he hated his new life and what he had to give up, hated the parents that only ever abused him, hated how stifled he felt, but there was one thing he knew for a _fact_ he didn't hate: Sehyoon.  
He rushed forward and hugged him tight, burying his bloodied face in his collar and crying harder than he'd ever had, and just that, the scent and warmth of him, was all he needed to feel human again.

sehyoon almost fell backwards from the force of yuchan pulling him into a hug so tight he wheezed, his crying violent and shaking, the pain evident in how he couldn’t keep himself from stopping, it only growing harsher as sehyoon hugged him back, his own expression twisted up as if he was feeling the same exact pain at the other; instinctually, he slid a hand up to stroke channie’s thoroughly tangled and ruined mess of black, breathing in his scent that was much different now, but the lingering, light scent of his skin still remained, triggering every fluttery emotion he’d repressed in the past months. shushing him some, sehyoon backed he and yuchan into the apartment and closed the door with his foot, burying his nose in his hair as he let him cry, wonder just what fucking _monster_ would make channie cry like this — was it someone he knew? did he get attacked? he didn’t try to hurt himself on purpose, did he..? “hey,” he whispered, just audible enough for the younger to hear over his muffled sobs, “t-talk to m-me-me pl-please?”

_Sehyoon was talking so much more now;_ Channie tried to not get caught up in it, instead heaving a shaking breath as he took a step back, his hands finding Sehni's arms as he did so, their eye contact as easy as it'd always been. "My mom hit me," He told him, exhaling again as he calmed down from his pathetic sobs, brows that were still dipped lowering on his face. "I spoke out of turn... about the Christmas gifts she'd got my little siblings. And she hit me for it."  
Being close to Sehyoon felt so _right_ in this moment, as though nothing bad could ever happen between them, as if they were back in behavioural therapy on that day; Channie shook his head and covered his face, not wanting to get all worked up about it romantically, not right now when he was sobbing his guts out—God, ever since he'd realised what love was, things had been so much worse. The desire he felt was insurmountable, but he didn't think Sehyoon knew what he'd even been feeling, so he kept it to himself. "I ran away, all the way here. To you."

channie’s words made sehyoon’s insides flip upside down, his brows dipping down low in a furrow as he slid his hands up and down his shoulders, comforting him as sweetly as he could; the eye contact was welcome, _extremely_ so, even, the sadness in yuchan’s eyes so much like the sky when it rained, graying over his entire expression like clouds over the shining sun. moving a hand up to tip up yuchan’s face with his fingers, sehyoon eyed the three distinct scratch wounds on the soft skin of his cheek, the one in the middle running blood down to his chin, a small welt forming where the palm must have met skin — it made him feel sick to his stomach, and as he took in the latter of channie’s sentence, he felt himself completely soften as if he were dissolving entirely, becoming one with the boy in front of him. “i-i— s-so sor- _sorry.”_ he muttered, the fingers on his jaw migrating down to caress the back of his neck, this touch everything he’d ever wanted and more, his heart beating hard and his head feeling like it was spinning in how little he could focus on anything besides just _how_ happy he was to see him again, even in this state. “c-cle-clean, i h-have bandage.” 

After two months of _nothing,_ Sehyoon's hands on Channie were _beyond_ more than welcome, his fingers extremely gentle over the skin of his neck and jaw; he nuzzled into the touch and sighed, all of the pain he'd been experiencing dripping out through his feet, driving him to step closer and hold Sehyoon tighter, as though he were terrified of losing him again. He nodded in response to what he'd said, even if he'd only been halfway listening—right now, just this, was all he could ever need. He'd missed him so much, missed the texts and letters and endless amount of affection and love, how they communicated so well with each other without even having to try.  
Most of all, he'd missed his voice.

sehyoon didn’t want to let go, but against his own almost desperate wishes, he drew back from channie to separate them and lead them to the bathroom, swinging the door open and turning the light on as he held a hand up to yuchan, urging him gently to wait a second; he reached into his medicine cabinet to grab a small bottle of peroxide and dug in the bag of cotton balls on the back of his toilet to procure one alongside a clean bandaid, his hands moving to soak the cotton with solution as he looked back up st channie. _yeah, oh my god, he missed him so badly._ “s-sting,” he mumbled with concern and softness edging his voice, pushing yuchan’s hair off his face as he dabbed the wounds, cleaning up the drops of blood with a deftness as he tried to keep his hand slight, feeling channie wince underneath the pressure nonetheless. seeing him like this almost brought sehyoon to tears, and it probably would have if he wasn’t concentrating so hard; once he was done, he threw away the cotton ball and unwrapped the bandage, covering up the deepest cut with it and managing some of the others, but not all of it — crap, that was his last bandaid... “sorry, ch-channie.”

Getting the scratches clean and disinfected took little time, that and Sehyoon was so gentle with it, the initial sting coming and going in no time at all—he couldn't even feel the pain now that he was here with the most important person in his life. Christ, he'd been stifling himself for so long, run so thin that he didn't even recognise this excitement in his chest, how it ached and pulled at him, burned and then turned ice cold before heating up again whenever they touched. _When had everything become so dull, that now that he was with Sehni, it was like seeing colour for the first time?_ "Thank you," He told him, watching as he put his stuff away, then immediately latching onto him again to envelope all of him in a hug, wringing dry all of the affection he held for him to soak in Sehyoon's own as though he were a sponge, replacing all of his new life with that of Sehni's entirety. _"Let me stay with you,"_ He breathed into the skin of his neck, his countenance twisted up and into one of unimaginable _relief._ "Please, Sehni, I'll be 18 in a couple weeks, and then I can go. I don't want them to send me back, _I wanna be with you."_

being tugged back into an almost overwhelmingly warm hug, sehyoon’s voice got stuck in his throat as a barely-there frown formed on his face at the younger boy’s words, begging, _imploring_ that he stay with him; it’s not like he didn’t want that, he wanted that so badly it _hurt,_ but he could barely support himself right now, and channie was still seventeen, they couldn’t be—  
_no, shut up. he wouldn’t let yuchan get away again, not after how badly it hurt the first time. he wanted to do it right this time around._ wrapping his arms tighter around channie, everything inside of him melted as if it were wax left out on a glaringly hot windowsill, and at the closeness, he forgot almost every single anxiety he’d ever had, like his body was physically melding with the other’s; it felt so right, so _amazing_ to be held by him — it was everything he’d wanted these past few months, everything he’d _dreamed_ about. “stay,” he breathed, marrying his fingers with yuchan’s nest of black hair that was still so soft, running through it to smooth and straighten it, “d-do-don’t le _aaave_ me.” saying that out loud bordered on painful, all of this tugging on his heart strings so hard he feared he might just snap and break down into tears, but as he nosed at yuchan’s hairline and was filled with the scent of the boy he now knew he was _in love_ with, it started to ease, his nuzzling turning into a soft kiss on the tender flesh there. sehyoon sighed into his skin, clutching the back of channie’s shirt as he fought the burning in his eyes, his heart fluttering and stomach doing flips behind his abdomen the longer they stayed like this — _it didn’t matter how badly his life had started fall apart, right now, channie was his everything._

That confirmation was what finally snapped every single one of his pieces of restraint, and when he tugged back to look at Sehyoon head-on, just the sight of his longing eyes, pink lips, and beautiful, dark hair, he pressed forward to kiss him deep, just like he had in all of the dreams he'd woken up from in a cold sweat; he cradled Sehyoon's jaw with both hands and tilted his head, sighing into the contact that was like zipping ardour all down his spine, making him sigh into his mouth, voice breathless and rough, _"I love you, Sehyoon."_  
He knew he shouldn't play into this, that they could wait to kiss and touch after he turned 18, but he'd missed him so badly that he couldn't even _think_ of being apart from him now, not after finally finding each other again, not after he'd been ripped from any chance they'd had of being together by a family that didn't care about him—right now, nothing was relevant, except Sehni's lips on his.

sehyoon felt like he was about to faint the second he felt yuchan’s lips on his own, the kiss so impassioned and filled to the brim with every sweet, longing, desperate, lustful, _needy_ drove that had been sticking inside of his consciousness for months, and as the younger told him he _loved him,_ it was all he could do to not whine; he did, however, pull channie against him with hands to the small of his back, pressing into the kiss without exactly knowing _how,_ but his lips felt so nice on his own, slotting perfectly together like two puzzle pieces that his instincts kicked in some, the ones he’d learned from watching so many romance films — he cocked his head more, too, kissing channie open-mouthed and with hot breaths, the sensation running tingles and tremors throughout his entire frame like a shock. _no wonder there was so much kissing in movies, he never knew it felt this good._ drawing back the smallest bit, he slid a hand up to caress channie’s face, getting a good look at him: he looked so tired, dark circles under his eyes and his skin was duller than before, almost as if he was losing his life force, but... he was still so beautiful, just as much as the day they met, if not more, his heart overflowing with warmth and that bubbling, almost unbearable feeling against his chest that he now came to know like it was an old friend. “i— lo-love you, t-t- _too.”_ then he kissed him again, this time with his sinuses burning and eyes threatening to release tears, the hands he had on yuchan’s back clutching the fabric as if that would get them closer somehow; even just this intimacy wasn’t enough, he wasn’t _close_ enough, he loved him so much it felt like he was going to _die._

_Sehyoon was so hungry,_ kissing him with just as much, if not _more_ fervour, clawing at him as though trying to crawl inside his skin, bringing them so close together that Channie couldn't even _believe_ it; he pressed into him harder, pushing him up against the wall to then drag his mouth down his jaw and to his neck, kissing and licking at the sweet skin, the taste almost nostalgic in how it settled in his brain. "Missed you," He whispered, trailing fingers up under Sehyoon's shirt to feel his torso, and it was much less squishy than it had been before—he'd lost some weight. "I'm sorry for leaving, but now I'm here to stay, forever, Sehni."  
He pressed more kisses to him, leaving a line down his neck from his ear to nip his shoulder; he kind of wondered if he was okay with getting hickies... he'd seen them in porn videos and he liked the idea, but maybe that was better reserved for when they had sex later...

sehyoon could only _gasp_ at how yuchan was kissing him, his voraciousness evident in the way that his lips moved down from his mouth and to his jaw, slowly grazing down to his neck and shoulder where the other left a small bite, making him whimper out of the back of his throat and knock his head back against the wall, his countenance turning up to he something so _pathetic_ — where the hell did yuchan learn how to do _this?_ the thought swam in his brain for just a moment longer, instilling some jealousy into his bloodstream before he was threading hands into channie’s hair, pulling down the collar of his shirt to expose more of his chest to the younger, eyes like the night sky as he whispered back, “sk-skin is all—all y-yo-yours.”  
he knew that they shouldn’t get this far, that channie was still only seventeen and anything past borderline kissing wasn’t morally right, but... before he could stop himself, sehyoon was pulling yuchan’s face back into the crook of his neck, moaning thickly as he felt his lips on his sensitive flesh once more, the grip in the other boy’s mess of black tightening and pulling.

As much as Yuchan wanted to keep going and just make Sehyoon lose his mind just like all the dreams and fantasies he'd gotten off to, he was exhausted both from having ran so much and mentally from his past responsibilities, but he decided this was good enough, just Sehyoon's voice saying something so dirty—telling him his skin was _his_ —enough to _almost_ make him crazy. He claimed that newly exposed skin with a hickey, then licked over the growing mark before pulling back with a smile, tugging Sehyoon's shirt back in place on his torso. "You taste better than I remember," He told him, then gave him a small kiss, stepping back away from him, but still holding his hand. "I need to get some sleep, though, I haven't slept more than six hours a night since I moved there..."  
_Ugh, just thinking about how tired he was all the damn time made him want to pass out and go into a coma for two weeks._

oh, he’d never felt anything like _that_ before, the sound he made forcing a deep flush of embarrassment over his cheeks at the sensation of yuchan’s love bite, his entire frame shuddering and forcing that feeling right to his groin; sighing low as yuchan slowly pulled away from him, sehyoon let his eyelids flutter back open to meet his gaze, blinking lazily as he nodded at that; he wasn’t disappointed they were stopping, rather he was happy to be able to let channie sleep as long as he wanted, both of them entangled on the bed — _god, he wanted nothing more._ his heart sank when he focused on just how terrible this new life must have been for yuchan, especially if he wasn’t even getting any _sleep,_ being abused in a home that was supposed to love him most... he chose not to dwell, that would just make him more sad and he didn’t need that. “sh-sho-showe-r? i ha _vvve_ clothes, t-too.”

Honestly, as much as the idea of a shower tempted him, Yuchan was way too tired to even try, even though he knew he probably should; instead, he shook his head and rubbed his hand over his face, the full weight of his exhaustion hitting him like a ton of bricks, now that his adrenaline had worn off. "It's okay... later. I need to lay down..."  
He draped himself over him and sighed, his eyes sliding shut and full body relaxing into his warmth. "Help me to the bed..."

wrapping his arms around yuchan, sehyoon was able to lift him up off of his feet enough to maneuver them out of the bathroom and to his bed, helping the younger sit down to sink into the sheets, his still fully clothed frame looking much too fatigued to try and change; he didn’t press it, rather he bent down to untie channie’s shoes and take them from him, bringing them over to the small line next to his door. then, he searched through his closet for a spare pillow, procuring a fuzzy throw one that had been stuffed behind all of his big blankets, returning to the bed as he shook his hair free of its ponytail, handing yuchan the soft red pillow. “then w-we slee-sleep.” he said with a softness, leaning over to rearrange his plushies so there would be room for channie, handing him one of his favorites so he could have it to hug.

Yuchan was actually surprised that Sehyoon managed to pick him up enough to carry him to bed, but it was definitely a pleasant one, as the second he was laid down on the mattress, he was about to pass out; once Sehyoon had given him a pillow and stuffed animal to hug, he was wiggling around to be curled up, the lights being on not even bothering him as he passed out.  
He felt truly safe and comfortable for the first time in a long, long time, and that was shown when he dreamt, his dreams full of nothing at all.  
__

the morning light drew through the curtains of sehyoon’s apartment with a white glow, the frosted glass of the window being the first thing he saw as he blinked his eyes open, the warmth of yuchan against his chest, their limbs entangled and torsos close; the younger boy was still asleep, his forehead tucked against sehyoon and the plushie he’d been given clutched against his chest, small, barely there snores coming and going with his breathing — sehyoon almost couldn’t bring himself to move, but he _really_ needed some water, so as he nudged yuchan on the shoulder, he said softly, “ch-channie,” then he ran his palm down the other’s side, fingers light in their trails as he admired the sight of channie next to him, all of it feeling almost fake — _he was so cute when he slept._

When Channie woke up the next day, having slept so well he actually almost forgot who and where he was, it was almost nine, and it was snowing outside.  
A soft voice calling his name accompanied with a hand running softly up and down his side dragged him gently out of the edges of his sleep, the warmth and familiar scent of Sehyoon in front of him, as though he were a radiator; he blinked his bleary eyes open and inhaled, everything coming back to him in a rush for a split-second when he looked up and saw his face, the knowledge of what had happened and where he was giving him a bit of anxiety—but right, he had no reason to be worried. What he was, though, was _starving._ "Sehni," He said, voice groggy, "Morning..."  
He nuzzled into his chest and sighed, getting a better smell of him—that one aftershave, and a bit of musk. _He smelled so good after he'd slept..._

sehyoon was surprised that was enough to wake yuchan, his small, gritty voice filling the air as he nuzzled further into him, instinctual arms wrapping around his frame as he did so; it was cold in his apartment, the and the tepid sensation of being so close had sehyoon’s heart fluttering, his breaths even as he stared down at channie, wriggling some to start to separate them. “hu-hung-hungry?” he asked, smoothing down yuchan’s hair as he drew away, moving to urge the other to sit up, swinging his legs off of the edge of the bed to catch his balance and stand. “i—i will m-m _aaake.”_ stretching out his frame, sehyoon yawned deep and long, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes from it as he started to raid his mostly-barren cabinets for something to make — thank god he still had some oatmeal and a little bit of fruit, otherwise they’d be eating instant ramen for breakfast.

"Yeah, I'm hungry," Yuchan said softly as he stretched out in bed, his frame catching all the chill of the room; he watched Sehyoon walk into the kitchen to make breakfast, following after him as he stripped his shirt off—he'd gotten a lot more toned thanks to his solo upkeeping of a house, but he hadn't really had the time to give it any thought. "I'm gonna take a shower first, okay? I _really_ need to get cleaned up."  
He smiled softly at the sight of him making them instant oatmeal with some fruit, but after a quick look around, he noticed something: there wasn't much of anything in the kitchen. Had he not been buying food? Why? "Hey..." He began, digging his wallet out of his pocket—he didn't have much, only about a hundred bucks, but it would be enough to get some stuff for them. "Here, take this."

yuchan got his attention with his words, making sehyoon turn on his heel from the stove with wide eyes, only to be met with the other holding his wallet out to him, making his eyebrows lower and spoon as he said, “wh-why?” _well, his kitchen did look remarkably empty, he hadn’t been eating much these days..._ contrary to his words, sehyoon took the wallet into his hands, examining it for a moment before he dragged his gaze back up to the boy before him, his breaths getting stuck in his throat as he stared; yuchan looked almost... older, his skin a lot more pale due to the cold weather, and his pants were slung low on his hips that were prominent with their shape, slender and curvaceous in an almost feminine way. he had a bit of a happy trail inching down his navel, and his abdomen was toned and so, so _pretty_ in how it laid on his frame, and without realizing, sehyoon had been staring for a lot longer than he had intended to — _oops._ red in the face and scrambling to open the wallet, he flipped through the bills inside and frowned some, his stomach was knotted into a coil — where had he gotten this money? “to-to— to keep?” 

A nod, Channie continuing to smile at him and motioning with his hand, his expression drooping just from the way Sehyoon's gaze raked down and up his body, taking him in wholly—right, they hadn't exactly... seen each other like that. His heart skipped over itself and his gut twisted, feeling his face flush red and grow warm; he looked down and turned, saying, "Yeah, well... I need to buy hair dye, too, so they don't recognise me... Just in case."  
_Man, he really wished he could be 18 already._  
"I'm gonna... yeah."

sehyoon hadn’t meant to fluster yuchan in his starting, but he very obviously did, making him bite down on his lip as he nodded to what he’d been told, turning his back to him to stir the oatmeal, “cl-cloth-clothes are n-next to my b-b-bed.” he tried not to let his thoughts wander any more past that, his fingers tightening around the wooden spoon he was using, his attention being drawn to opening the can of peaches to drain it, an irrefutable sensation lapping over his skin as he stole another glance over at yuchan sauntering into the bathroom, his flush just worsening and making him feel lightheaded — god, all of those thoughts and emotions he’d repressed these past few months were _intense,_ almost to the point of winding him as he thought about it.  
once he was finished making the food, he divided the oatmeal into two bowls, making sure to give channie a couple extra slices of fruit; he carried it over to his sofa and set it down on the coffee table, the steam from it billowing in the frigid air — he hadn’t been using much of his heat, he didn’t want his gas bill to be through the roof, and that had guilt twisting inside of him as he began to eat. _how was he supposed to keep channie here if he could barely keep himself?_

And of course, when he took the rest of his clothes off once he was in the bathroom, Channie saw that he was slightly hard— _Sehyoon had literally just looked at him, God, he was such a teenager._  
He got the water warm and quickly showered, washing his hair and body and shaving his face—he'd recently started needing to, just a bit—before trimming his pubes, and then getting out; he was absolutely _starving,_ and although he knew that Sehyoon didn't have much, but that didn't matter, now that he was with someone that loved him...  
Wearing a towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist, he walked out into the living space and over to the clothes that Sehyoon had told him about, seeing the other sitting and waiting for him on the sofa, his posture slumped and hands holding his phone; chewing his lip, Channie said, his blush from the heat of his shower now caused by having to change in front of him, fingers hesitant at the edge of his towel, "Peach oatmeal? It smells good,"  
_Would he look? He kind of... wanted him to..._  
He dropped his towel and picked up the briefs that Sehni had set out for him, stepping into them and feeling his groin grow hot, even though he _knew_ this wasn't a sexual situation—didn't help that he was extremely sexually frustrated, especially now that he was living with the object of his affection.

the warmth of his food was immensely welcome as he began to eat, half of it being gone before yuchan had emerged from the shower, steam following him out of the bathroom as he sauntered over, one of his towels slung around his waist as he spoke; that had sehyoon snapping his gaze up to lay it on him, a whine choking out of his throat as he dropped his towel, his head whipping down to force his focus back down on his food, everything warming to the point of feeling like he had a fever — when had he gotten so _frustrated?_ chancing a glance, he blinked up at yuchan to catch him right after he’d pulled on his underwear, a lot of his frame looking just as tensed and heated, and before he could stop himself, sehyoon smiled crookedly, “p-pr—pretty,“ _would calling him pretty be too much?_ he knew they’d confessed to one another last night, but this was all still so new and foreign, he wasn’t sure what was overstepping a line and what wasn’t; as yuchan continued to dress himself, he could see the bulge behind the fabric of his underwear, flooding back memories of when they’d touched on the sofa — _ugh, stop, sehyoon._ he stabbed at a peach in his oatmeal to get his mind off of it.

Yuchan giggled against his will at the way that flustered him, Sehyoon's voice so sweet and enigmatic in how it complimented him, the word rolling over his now clothed back like water; he turned around and picked up the towel, staring Sehni down as he slung it over the back of the sofa, watching him as he ate with a bit more urgency than before—cute, he'd gotten him all excited. _Channie felt the exact same way._ "You should've showered with me," He teased, sitting beside him and taking up his oatmeal, eager to get it in his stomach. "Then I would've gotten to call _you_ pretty, even though I do all the time anyway. Seeing you in real life is a lot better than just in my dreams or fantasies, especially now that we can be together. I remember, when I realised that I was in love with you, I wrote you a letter... if only I hadn't deleted your number, I would've sent it to you."  
It was really hard not to cringe whenever he rambled now, but he knew Sehyoon liked how much he talked, so... he tried not to dwell, he had no reason to, now that they were together.

all of that sentiment just made it harder for sehyoon to breathe, the closeness of yuchan next to him feeling like home and a completely foreign entity at the same time, and as he ate the last bites of his food, he turned to look at him, asking in a whisper, “re-really?” that had his heart being pulled taut as the beats got faster; he knew that he had, especially since they both had mutual feelings of affection, but knowing that channie thought about him enough while he was away to write him a letter and have _dreams_ about him was enough to make him laugh lightly in an attempt to calm himself — that, and it was so nice to hear yuchan talking like he used to again. “i d-dr-drew y-you a lot.”

Smiling, Channie took up a spoonful of his oatmeal and said as he brought it to his mouth, "You should show me sometime. I want to give you the letter, too, so maybe that can be our gifts to each other to celebrate being together again. I could make dinner for you, too, I know how to cook now."  
He ate the oatmeal and sighed inaudibly— _so good, he forgot how much he loved it._ As much as he wanted to see Sehni's reaction to what he said, he quickly inhaled his breakfast, shovelling gigantic spoonfuls into his mouth one after another; it didn't take him longer than a minute to eat it all since Sehyoon hadn't made much, and he was still hungry after, but that wasn't anything some grocery shopping couldn't fix—he shouldn't go outside, in case his parents were looking for him, but he figured writing a list would suffice.

_that would be so nice, sehyoon had been skipping dinner for weeks now._ nodding softly at that, sehyoon took up yuchan’s empty bowl to stack the two, placing the spoons together in the top one, getting to his feet to take them the very short distance to the kitchen; he eyed channie as he rinsed them out, blinking his wide eyes as he said, “i ha-have s-so-some ram-ramen in the pant—p _aaantry,”_ his stutter still had him cringing, but he was just happy that he could communicate with yuchan with his voice instead of just text like he had for so long — it added to the sense of normalcy and intimacy, making his lips press into a thin line as he fought the urge to grin like an idiot at just the sight of the boy loved so much sitting on his sofa, so effortlessly beautiful as he always had been. “if y-you— are st-still hung-ry.”

_Oh, ramen, it'd been a long time since he ate something so trashy;_ his parents had a very strict list of foods that they could and couldn't eat, mostly organic stuff and lots of vegetables with very little carbs or sugar, so the thought of getting to have ramen made him really excited, a squeaking yip escaping his throat as he stood up and raced the short distance to the kitchen, turning on the kettle and grabbing out the ramen cup that Sehni had talked about. While he waited for the water to boil, he turned around to stand behind Sehyoon, bringing his hands up to slide up and down his back, trailing them around to his front to hug him from behind. "Thank you for breakfast," He said, nuzzling at the back of his neck to then kiss the flesh and hair—it'd gotten so long, and it smelled really nice, just like he remembered...

an easy, velvety laugh was sehyoon’s response to yuchan’s excitement, the motions of doing the dishes familiar work, but as he was being touched from behind by channie’s affectionate, so personal touch and closeness, he couldn’t stop the pleasured exhale that left him, tingles zipping up and down his spine to settle in his lower half at how it made him shiver; he lolled his head back into it, this kind of sensation something he’s never felt before, but seen in romance movies — ugh, he could get completely lost in it, especially if it was channie. “y-you-you’re welc-welcome,” he affirmed, his voice only shaking the smallest bit at the ends as he directed his attention back to his task, the warm water nothing in comparison to the caress and soft lips of his lover on the back of his neck. _he was such a hopeless romantic, he’d come to find._

Yuchan hummed at the way Sehyoon's voice gently shook, loving the little tremors he felt come over the other that sent shivers down his own spine, arousal coalescing in his groin to worsen the boner he already had, and he couldn't stop himself from pressing himself close against him as he kissed his neck some more; the hands he had flat to Sehyoon's stomach travelled down to hold his hips, pulling him back to knock into his crotch—he knew he could feel his hard dick, but didn't particularly _care._ He could drown in this, the intimacy and inherent romance of their every interaction, how just being like this together was enough to make himself melt straight through the floor, only to come back together entirely rewritten as a vessel for his love of Sehyoon. Having dinner, spending all day together, singing and dancing and watching movies, it was everything Channie had ever wanted, but so much more, now that they'd fully realised what they felt for each other. _It was crazy, he loved him so much he couldn't breathe._

sehyoon’s voice arched up in a pathetic whine as yuchan slid hands around his hips and pulled him back against him, the thin material of his boxers leaving nothing to the imagination as he felt his hard dick press up against him, only further flustering him as he gripped the bowl he was washing tight; even just this was enough to make him dizzy in how horny he’d been, yuchan so much different and knowing in what he wanted now, just acting on impulse to touch his body like he _owned_ it — a lot of things had changed, but in a perverse way, he found this was his favorite discrepancy. “h-hey—“ sehyoon pulled his lip between his teeth as he turned the water off, leaning down to the side to wipe his hands dry on the dish towel, turning with a start to meet them both face to face, yuchan so close that sehyoon had to grip the counter behind him. he was barely breathing, every ounce of his willpower having to go into not just kissing him until he couldn’t breathe, his head drowning in every single thought and fantasy that had made a home since channie left for the first time. “y-y-you’re...” _you’re what? the most perfect person in the world and it felt like melting every single time you’re near?_

It was a strange kind of perverseness that settled inside of Yuchan at the sexual maturity gap that they now had, Channie's research having fully prepared himself for this in ways that he knew Sehyoon didn't know, and it had him shushing him when he turned around, red faced and shaking, his half-lidded, black eyes driving Channie out of his _mind._ "I'm what?" He asked in a tone that was edged with a moan, locking Sehyoon in against the sink with his hands on the counter on either side of him, dropping his head to the side and smiling sideways—was it a bit much to be doing this right now? Maybe, but Channie found that he couldn't bring himself to stop, especially since he didn't _want_ to; he leaned a bit forward and nosed at his cheek, kissing softly as he rocked his hips forward, a weak sound escaping him at just how _good_ that little bit of friction felt. It was cold, but their contact had him running white-hot, even though they weren't really doing anything, being with him in this kind of vicinity was enough to boil his brain in his skull. _They'd never done this before, yet he'd somehow missed this, as though the nostalgia was from a different time._

yuchan had the capacity to be so _overwhelming,_ his sly smile as he kept sehyoon in place like a knock straight to his stomach to trickle down to his groin, the intensity of the heat overtaking him feeling like he might just keel over and die right on the spot; the friction being offered against him just made his cock throb against the fabric of his boxers and consequently yuchan’s own, his head lolling forward as he tried to muscle out a sound that wasn’t just a pathetic plea or whimper, something, _anything_ — “you-you’re making... m-mak _iiing_ me h-ho-horny...” he admitted even though it made him so embarrassed he feared for the beating of his own heart, and to try and quell that, he offered up his hands to yuchan’s torso, sliding his palms up from his stomach to his wide chest, the feeling of it under him so tantalizing — he’d really matured so much, it was almost insane in how he did it in such a short time... meeting their eyes, sehyoon then let his hands migrate further at the look in yuchan’s eyes, fiery and like he wanted to eat him whole, darker than they usually were with how they dripped lust — it had him weak in the knees as he moaned sweet, the barely-there stimulation teasing him just enough to make him malleable. 

Those words awoke something even more dark than usual in Channie's brain, how Sehyoon confessed to him something so sinful in such a pretty voice, perfectly quiet and lustful in how it coated his brain; he groaned and bit the skin just under Sehni's jaw, licking over it before finding new skin to nip at, waist still rocking forward to grind on Sehni's while the hands that'd locked him in now wrapped around his body. Having Sehni actually come to touch him like that was a lot, feeling him dig his nails in and moaning at the dagger of pleasure that stabbed him straight through his gut— _fuck, it was almost too much for him to handle._ "Sehni~" He whined into the flesh of him, mouth still working the skin up his jaw to his cheek, then back to his lips, kissing him so deeply he thought he might _die._  
Maybe they should keep going... _No, save it for when you turn 18._ Even this was plenty, he didn't need to think about Sehyoon fucking him senseless, and _God,_ was it a good fantasy. 

with his nails digging into the fabric of yuchan’s shirt, sehyoon let himself melt into the nips and licks, the other boy’s commanding hands around his body like the most intoxicating sensation he’d ever felt, rendering him like a ragdoll in how lax he’d let himself become, easily lolled and touched however channie wanted; the kiss they were locked in housed so much hunger and intimacy, everything about it making sehyoon feel weak and completely devoid of any thoughts except the sugar sweet pleasure of yuchan’s hard dick against his own, this angle so much more different than when they did this the first time — he wanted to go further _so badly,_ especially with how pent up they both seemed to be, and for a second, he almost let himself slip in telling yuchan to keep going. he didn’t, though, merely kissed him harder, slipping his tongue inside of his mouth like he’d seen in his videos, completely unsure of how to even do it, but he knew channie didn’t care; his hands slid around to his back to claw there, he warm wetness of the younger’s tongue just how sehyoon could imagine drugs felt like, euphoric and amazing and so, so addictive. 

Channie groaned past the kiss from the sensation of Sehyoon's tongue sliding against his own, his brows dipping up and insides turning to mush, every single bit of his consciousness fizzling out from just this, their needy hands on each other and desperate mouths unknowing, as though driven entirely by pure, unadulterated instinct; fevered, he shoved his fingers under the waistband of Sehyoon's underwear and pushed them down, pulling away from the kiss to drop to his knees, right hand wrapping around the base of his dick. This was the first time he'd seen his, and honestly, he was _not_ expecting it to be so _big,_ the warmth and thickness of it in his grasp enough to make him whimper, his gaze finding the other's above him with all of his luridity swimming inside it, heart pounding behind his ribcage as he squeaked, "Y-you might wanna hold onto something."  
He licked the tip, then slid the head into his mouth, his tongue pressed to the underside and wet lips creating a seal around it; Sehyoon tasted _good,_ sweet and musky and so much better than even Channie's favourite food, his saliva pooling in his mouth to start to run down his chin as he slowly sucked him off. _This was really making him horny,_ his own hard cock hidden in his underwear straining the crotch of the fabric, the position he was squatting in making him feel very much like a slut, his arousal burning in his gut to make him moan slightly. _He wished he could see the face that Sehyoon was making..._

the first feeling that washed over sehyoon as he watched yuchan sink down to his knees was almost shock, his eyes flicked up to meet his own and fingers quickly wrapping around the base of him, making him gasp a choked breath as his eyes went wide, brows spooning over his eyes; he tried to open his mouth to speak, but the only thing he was capable of was a muffled whine as he covered his mouth, his other hand moving to stroke channie’s hair — it’s not like he didn’t know what a blowjob was, _of course_ he did, but seeing the younger from this angle as his eyes flicked up to look at him like _that_ had his stomach tensing and skin on fire. “ch-cha-channie, i—“ then his words evolved into a sound so pathetic he could barely tell it was his own voice, the searing heat of yuchan’s lips and mouth like a fire that ran all the way from his groin to the back of his neck, riddling his entire body with tingles and tremors — _he never knew it would feel this good, it was like he was about to pass out._ the fingers he had in channie’s still-damp hair moved to grip a fistful as he struggled to stand, the hand over his mouth now offering a knuckle between his teeth to keep himself quiet, but that was useless; he must have looked and sounded so pitiful, every movement of yuchan’s mouth on him making his dick pulse and throb, the pleasure this was wringing out of him so much more than he thought was even humanly _possible._ not to mention how beautiful channie looked from this angle, his eyelids slid shut as he worked his cock with his pretty, full lips, the sound of his tongue and saliva lewd and filling the air of the cold apartment, sehyoon’s heart skipping in it’s beating at just how _amazing_ it all was; he could barely breathe, but as he took a deep chestful of air, he managed to say past his own fingers, “f- _fffeels s-so good...”_

Whining, Yuchan pulled back enough to kiss the slit of Sehyoon's cock, precum collecting in a bead on them, his tongue swiping out to lick it off while his right hand worked just the top of his dick, right under the head as his thumb rubbed over the sensitive underside of it; he'd watched a lot of videos of handjobs, they were some of his favourite kind of porn, so he knew _exactly_ what to do to make Sehni lose his fucking _mind._ "Yeah, feels good?" He cooed, kissing his dick again before he dragged his lips down to the base of him, sucking his balls into his mouth right as his fingers rubbed completely over the head, slicking them and his palm with all of the precum that he was milking out. His own dick was leaking straight through his boxers, and honestly it felt like he was going to come _already,_ even though he hadn't even touched himself, just the action of doing this with someone he loved so much enough to tease his orgasm—he was so hot, shivers travelling over his skin that was tepid and beginning to slicken with sweat. He'd never been this turned on before, not _ever,_ and it had his head spinning in circles after circle. _Sehyoon was so pretty like this, too, his arduous frame like lava in his brain._

sehyoon could barely even _whine_ at the sensations wracking his frame, channie’s seemingly endlessly knowing hand working him like he was a toy, milking warmth out of him that he promptly licked up with a hungry tongue, forcing a shiver over sehyoon’s skin; channie was being so overbearing, working the overly-sensitive skin right under the head of sehyoon’s dick like he’d done it a million times before, his mouth married with the motion of sucking on his balls like he’d been hit over the head with a bat, the feeling of vertigo that made a home in his head only allowing him to whimper out a moan with yuchan’s name at the end. _god, it was so intense._ he’d never felt anything close to this, not with his own hand and now with the last time they touched; even in his fantasies he didn’t know it was possible, the amazing feeling pooling in his gut and at the base of his spine, his head getting thrown back as he clawed his nails into channie’s scalp entirely on accident — he could tell he was close already, the building sensation so quick he couldn’t even believe it, his hips rolling in a desperate attempt to get more stimulation. not that he needed it, but yuchan was so _perfect,_ and as he looked down at him once more, his heart leapt over his ribcage and his balls squeezed, more of that warm wetness trickling down from the head of his cock and onto the younger boy’s palm. _he was so pretty, he wanted to do the same thing to him._

Yuchan was shaking, his orgasm brought even closer by the rocking of his own hips, causing his hard cock to rub all along the inside of his boxers, an _almost_ perfect irritant to bring him to climax; he could just tell that Sehyoon was close, too, the tensing of his balls and throbbing of his entirety very telling of it, not to mention his beautiful voice filling the air between them, making Channie's heart skip and diaphragm flutter _hard_ —to bring him over the edge, he quickly replaced his hand with his mouth and dropped his head down onto him, not quite hitting the back of his throat but close enough to almost make himself gag. He rolled his balls with a free hand, the other digging into Sehni's hip to assist in controlling his gag reflex, his eyes squeezing shut with tears prickling at them, his breathing ragged and labored from _how much_ he was trying not to puke; he knew this was supposed to feel really good, so he wanted Sehyoon to feel it, even if it made his stomach churn. _So close, it was turning him on so fucking much, he was going to come just from this—_

“a-aa— _aahh—!”_ sehyoon managed to quip words that were barely anything as yuchan swallowed almost his entire length into his throat, his eyes going wide and his breathing stopping in his chest as his frame wavered a bit, all of him weak and only being held up by the hand he had gripping the counter behind him; instantly, his orgasm started to figuratively yank him by the hair to make him careen into the pleasure, the convulsions of channie’s throat around him so stupefying that his moans arched up at the ends, the tingling ripples of being pushed over the edge shocking through all of his nerves at once. he didn’t get much warning before his eyes cinched shut and he almost collapsed with the intensity of it, the hand he had buried in channie’s hair yanking his mouth off of him with a lewd _pop_ right as he came, his swollen dick being bitten by the cold air as sticky warmth spilled out of him with a shuddering groan and consequently onto yuchan’s face, the pulsing accompanying it making his cock twitch on its own as the waves of sensation drowned out almost all of the sound around him; he didn’t feel like he would ever return back to his senses, but as he blinked his eyes open with his mouth panting out his breaths, he looked down at channie who was looking up at him with his beautiful chocolate eyes, half-lidded as he fought to catch his own breath — _oh my god, he hadn’t meant to get it all over his face, that’s so—_ “s-so-sor— _sorry!”_ sehyoon said as he reached down to smooth the hair on yuchan’s head where he’d been pulling it, some strands stuck between his fingers and making his stomach drop. _just how lost in the feeling was he?_ the aftershocks of his orgasm were like tepid rushes to his head and down to his dick that was still half-hard, the shame and embarrassment that had faded with the pleasure returning full force as he pulled his boxers back up, intent on changing them later. “i— i di-didn’t m-me-mean to...” 

There was no warning at all when Sehyoon came, his voice high-pitched and barely squeaks as he writhed, pulling Channie's hair out as he orgasmed, getting it all over his face and in some of his still-wet hair; that made Yuchan _moan,_ thick like honey as it caught in his throat, the pain not something he thought he'd be into, but he found he didn't mind it—what he _did_ like, though, was the hot cum that splashed onto his cheeks and lips. It tasted so sweet, so much like Sehyoon that it had his diaphragm fluttering and chest getting tight, his shoulders slumping with his impending orgasm that was now slowly dying—he was still _really_ close, and if Sehyoon had come in his mouth, he probably would've gone with him. "It's okay," He said, voice hoarse. "I liked it. And... you don't have to touch me, either, if you aren't ready. I can just eat... though I think I have to boil my water again." He laughed a little and stood up, wincing slightly from the way it made his cock drag over the fabric. _Ugh, it was starting to hurt..._

breathing heavily and deep, sehyoon's wide eyes watched as yuchan swiped his tongue over his lips to catch some of his cum on the tip of it, just that enough to make his overstimulated dick ache behind the fabric of his boxers, his expression twisting up at the words that had filled his brain; channie was so red in the face and his expression was so immensely _tantalizing,_ even as he tried to push off the subject with a laugh, urging sehyoon to take the younger by the hips to say, "c-ca-can't i do y-you to—too?" he'd feel way too guilty just taking it all for himself, and it was _so obvious_ how pent up yuchan was, his stomach tensed and underwear barely even capable of containing his dick it was so hard — _ugh, that made his mouth water._ even though he didn't know what he was doing, sehyoon turned yuchan around on his heels to stand where he had, sinking down to his knees with pleading eyes up at the other, his lip between his teeth as he drew his attention back to channie's lust with a dragging hand over the stiffness. _oh, the tip was wet, too..._ then he pulled his boxers down by the waistband just enough for him to spring free, his length swollen pink and practically begging to be touched, the sight so amazingly _pretty_ that sehyoon whined, offering a hand up to the shaft of his cock to start to stroke; even if he didn't know what he was doing, he wanted to make yuchan feel good, too, even if it wasn't even a _shred_ of what he'd just been offered, he was set on it nonetheless. _he smelled so nice, it was downright intoxicating._

Yuchan couldn't even begin to protest when Sehyoon's voice arched like _that,_ almost begging to touch him with his eyes wide and pupils even more so, reaching out to take him gently by the arm and maneuver him around; Channie took the manhandling easily, gripping the sink that was now behind him and hissing, Sehni pulling his boxers down enough to make his eyes roll back, the chill air biting his heated skin, his balls tensing from the gentle friction and abdomen pulled taut like a rubber band fixing to snap. He wanted to tell Sehyoon it was okay, that he didn't have to give him a blowjob like he'd done, but his voice died in his throat when he tried at the teasing strokes Sehni offered him, the contact nowhere _near_ enough, and if he had any less restraint he might've just shoved his cock down his throat and come like that, but he absolutely did not want to hurt him—besides, it was better this way. Sehyoon needed the practice. _"Ugh, f-fuck—"_ He managed to groan through his teeth, a torrid kind of feeling sitting just under his skin, travelling up his nerve endings to become something wholly sinful at the base of his spine.

even just the small grazes of his hands were enough to make channie spout such nice noises, sehyoon's expression turning winsome rather than lustful, his face hot and brain like it was boiling inside of his skull as he pressed his tongue flat on the head of the younger's dick, his own taste unique and beautiful, the slick warmth on the tip of his tongue bringing him to slide his eyes shut as he replaced his tongue with his mouth, able to fit about half of yuchan's length into his mouth before it hit his throat. he knew enough about what to do, so he acted almost purely on instinct, doing what channie had done by bobbing his head and stroking the base with a free hand to compensate, the motion feeling so lurid and lewd that it made his entire body burn; he was able to flick his eyes up to see a glimpse of yuchan's face, his visage skewed in a way he'd only seen the one time, but right now it was so much _more_ \-- he was so perfect, all the way to the way he felt and tasted on his tongue, so much so that sehyoon would do _anything_ to make him feel good.

Yuchan's head snapped back and his hips rolled against his will, his fingers clawing into the sink and a pathetic, trembling cry shaking out into the air from his lungs, as though the sensation were _painful;_ it felt ridiculously good, way too intense for him to even _try_ and build an orgasm, but it happened anyway, like it was _trying_ to knock him on his ass. He hissed and snapped his arm out to take hold of Sehyoon's hair, gripping so tight he was scared he was hurting him, but he just could not fathom how _amazing_ everything felt. His thighs were trembling and there was a rush of pleasure inside him, all the way from his toes to the tip of his brain, a static kind of sensation that he'd never felt before, not even when he'd been experimenting touching himself all manner of ways. "S—Seh-Sehni, p— _lease."_

when yuchan rolled his hips in the heat of his lust, it forced his cock further down sehyoon's throat, making him gag wholly around it and shiver from the sensation, but he found he _adored_ how it felt, being breathless for just that moment enough to make his own dick throb against his boxers in the wake of it — _what the hell? did he like not breathing?_ drawing back to take a deep breath, sehyoon brought his free hand to wrap around the back of channie's slender waist to urge him to buck his hips forward, stuffing his entire length down his throat to make him gag again, his eyes rolling back in his head and a non-existent whimper escaping him at how he pulsed in the back of his windpipe — he kept him there for a long moment, completely reveling in the way it made channie squirm and moan, then he did it again, milking more of that sweet-tasting slickness from the tip of his cock as he choked on it, unfamiliar tingles overwhelming his frame to turn every thought in his brain into mush. he clawed at the flesh of yuchan's hips, his nails almost breaking skin as he let himself drown in this closeness; he didn't even know it was _possible_ to feel this good, even when he wasn't being touched... 

_Oh God, fuck, where the hell did Sehyoon learn to do that—_  
Channie's eyes shot open completely wide and unseeing at the feeling of Sehyoon forcing his cock down his throat, the soft, boiling hot silkyness so direct on the head of him that all he could do was moan low, even as his orgasm bolted straight to the edge. He was _so close,_ so fucking close he could see it; he tried to tug Sehyoon off of him, his voice choked when he attempted to warn him, but _fuck,_ he was being edged by the colvusions of his throat that he could do nothing but twitch, everything inside of him at its peak—  
And just like that, he lost it.  
His knees buckled and his head fell forward; a sharp gasp punched out of him that shook at the ends, his hands in Sehyoon's hair tugging him closer as he used his mouth to ride it out, jaw clenching and eyes screwed so tightly shut that he saw nothing but stars. _It felt like he was dying,_ pleasure like a virus crawling over every fucking inch of his body to be expelled out of his cock and down Sehyoon's throat. _"Ohhh, ohh God~"_ He whined, slowly letting go of Sehni's hair to try and pat it out down, but he was shivering so badly all he could do was settle them on his head.

_well, sehyoon didn't exactly have a lot of favorite things, but yuchan's cock in his throat was pretty high on the list._ being yanked by the hair all the way to channie's pelvic bone, his nose got buried his his pubes that smelled like his own bodywash, the length of his cock so deep in his throat it almost felt _wrong_ \-- he desperately pawed at channie's torso as he held him there, thick, hot cum spilling down his throat and straight into his stomach, trickling down before he even got the chance to swallow. _oh my god, it was so amazing, sehyoon could scarcely believe it._ channie's voice moaning like _that_ was enough to tell him that he'd done a good job, and when he felt the throbbing of his dick cease in his mouth, he pulled back, spit and cum connecting them still as his lips hung open to desperately try to catch his breath; he was lightheaded and he felt hoarse as if he had a cold, not to mention his jaw was a bit sore, but as he licked his bottom lip and looked up at yuchan, his heart skipped a dozen beats at _least._ his expression was so different like this, spent and with his eyes half-lidded, not even capable of trying to change it his own everglow. he didn't know it was possible, but he could feel his own hard dick ache at the sight, his voice edging out a whine as he looked down at himself, eyebrows spooned at the sight -- _you could get hard twice in a row? how?_ he didn't dwell on it, rather sank from his knees to catch himself on his ass, shoulders slumping as his (mostly) normal consciousness returned to him and his gaze ran along channie's body, _"i l-lo-love you."_

Their loss of closeness was what finally had Yuchan collapsing, his knees giving out to make him slip down against the sink and onto his butt, joining Sehyoon on the floor, their legs slotted together; he ran a hand through his damp hair and smiled at him, managing to cover himself back up when they made eye contact—Sehyoon looked so beautiful when he was flustered, even if he had snot and tears streaking his face. "I love you too, Sehyoon," He said, rubbing his foot over the other's calf. He was still hungry, obviously, so he carefully got to his feet, reaching down to help Sehyoon up, too; he could see that he was hard again, which was a bit of a surprise, and honestly Channie was tempted to get him off again, but... it could wait until later. He needed to give him a break.

getting to his feet just intensified the still-there feeling of vertigo, his balance wobbly as he tried to adjust, stars in his vision as he onlooked channie at eye level, his stomach doing a flip and getting entangled behind his abdomen. "i-i shhhould get dr-dress-dressed," he said, wincing some at how rough that had made his voice become, but yuchan didn't seem too bothered, really, he almost looked smug — _pretty, even like that._ "wh-where did y-you l-l _earrrn_ to do th—that?" 

Yuchan had busied himself with getting the kettle going again, but upon hearing Sehyoon ask him that, he met his gaze and shrugged, smiling out of the side of his mouth and opening his cup noodles, which he hadn't even bothered to do earlier. _Distracted by Sehyoon, as always._ "My family had internet, and they gave me a new phone, so I... did a lot of research. It's crazy the amount of stuff I didn't know, I could show you if you want, it's really informative, and Kwannie had given me a packet about sex too before we... separated. It helped me, too. Even though I didn't have a lot of free time before because I was taking care of three kids, whenever I had the time I'd learn about stuff. I watched a lot of porn, too."  
_Oh, he was rambling..._ He shook his head a bit to clear his thoughts of that—he didn't need to reprimand himself anymore.

_three kids? well, that explained the physique..._ "oh," sehyoon said softly, smiling against his will at how yuchan was talking, so much like how he used to that it had a wave of nostalgia running through his veins as if it were taking on the role of his blood, warming him from the inside out; it felt comforting to know that channie watched it, too... he went to therapy to become more comfortable of the mindset that it was okay to watch porn and want sex (because apparently that was a lot of the reason he felt so stifled all the time, who knew), but he still had the tendency to feel guilty about it, so hearing that was welcome and had him nodding as he shuffled past channie to get dressed. "i s-st-still d-don't know a... a lot," he replied over his shoulder, shuffling through his closet to try and procure an outfit for himself. _"sssee_ ms like y-you do, th-th-though." 

"Enough to get by," Yuchan replied, watching as the kettle shut off and the water began to stop boiling, allowing him to pour it into the cup—he'd taken one out for Sehyoon, too, since he knew he was still hungry. "But I want to learn more with you, by being with you, because I want to know your body, not someone else's."  
That was a... bit embarrassing to admit out loud, but... Channie knew that Sehyoon felt the same way—  
Wait. Were they dating now..?

that had sehyoon smiling once more as he took up a pair of black pants and a plain white shirt, the warmth in his cheeks becoming a permanent thing, it seemed; once he was dressed, he pulled on a couple of accessories and combed through his hair with his fingers, enough to tie it back and off of his neck — he needed to cut it desperately... “w-we h-hav-have the time,” he added, shuffling over to the kitchenette to grab one of the cups into his hand, the radiating heat nice in the frigid air of his apartment; looking at yuchan with bright eyes, he couldn’t help but notice how he looked slightly flustered, making him tip his head as if to ask what was wrong.

Shaking his head, Channie merely smiled and took up his soup, motioning to his wallet that was still on the counter. "I can make you a little list if you want for stuff to buy. I'd go with you, but I don't want anyone to see me just in case my parents decided to look for me. Did I tell you that they were Min Yoongi's parents? I'm technically related to him now, and he's actually a nice guy... I feel bad that I left him and our siblings, 'cause they're really good kids and I had a lot of fun with them, but our parents hate me... I was pretty much just their maid and their childcare, after all. Kinda sucks."  
He shrugged a bit, then smiled up at him, giving him a kiss before walking over to the sofa to sit down. He didn't... _want_ to say that he missed his siblings, but he did, since after all it wasn't their decision to treat him like that, and they had all looked up to him as a big brother and tried to help him with his chores—genuinely, he loved them. But it wasn't realistic for him to stay there, not when his mother was hitting him.

that was a name he hadn’t heard in a while, especially since yoongi had stopped going to behavioral therapy pretty much altogether; he hadn’t seen him in weeks, and that usually meant someone wasn’t coming back. his heart sank hearing that, especially with the way channie had looked at him as he said it, his expression wilting as it did whenever he was disappointed or sad, something he could read extremely easily on his face. he moved to join him on the couch, saying in a low tone, “i-i’m sorry, y-yo-you de _ssserve_ more th-than that.”

Another nod, Yuchan tearing the top off his ramen and starting to stir it, the steam very nice in how it warmed him—he hadn't noticed, but it was his favourite kind, chili lime chicken. _Hell yes._ "It's alright, it wasn't like they were around at all, so I was mostly just alone with the kids. I like kids, I'd like to have some someday, or maybe be a foster dad. Do you want kids? I thought about that a lot when I was alone, being with you and having kids. I don't know if you want to be with me like that, but I love you, Sehyoon, and maybe when I turn 18 we could date for real. I could get a job and live with you, and we could get a pet, do you like cats? I love cats, or we could get a dog, or a snake or something, and I could get my diploma and start going to school with you. That would be so fun, getting to be with you every day! I've never had a job before—"  
_He was really getting ahead of himself, but just the prospect of doing all those things with Sehyoon had him so beyond excited he couldn't even control himself._

sehyoon had torn into his noodles as well, but his eyes were on yuchan as he talked a mile a minute, absorbing all of his questions but not being able to answer every single one, so instead he just held a hand out to place on channie’s thigh, smiling light as he spoke, “i-i— love wh-when y-you talk,” then he licked his bottom lip, absorbing the prospect of them _dating_ and building a life together, always by each other’s sides and never having to deal with that terrible, painful sinking feeling of being alone that he’d had up until the boy of his dreams showed up — truthfully, it excited him to no end at just _thinking_ about it, his core shaking and leg bouncing to happily stim. “w-we cou _llld_ be to-toge-ther for a l-lo-long time... may-maybe e-even get...” _no, don’t be a hopeless romantic, don’t make this so much more than it was—_ “m-ma- _married.”_

Yuchan's eyes bugged right out of his head at that word, his frame seizing up and hand gripping his fork tight so he wouldn't explode his ramen everywhere— _married?_ Married? Like—"You want to m-marry me?" He asked, his voice so gentle he didn't even recognise it as his own. He set his ramen down and turned to face him, his hands reaching out to hold one of Sehyoon's thighs, his expression lilted to show just _how much_ that idea made his heart fucking _explode._ "Sehyoon, I-I..."  
He grabbed his ramen out of his hands and set it on the table, then immediately leapt into his arms, hugging him close and starting to cry a little, his face shoved in his neck. "I love you so much!!"

sehyoon hadn’t anticipated on yuchan’s reaction to be so strong to that, but the warm, completely consuming embrace was more than welcome, his arms snaking around the younger boy’s shoulders tightly as he heard him start to tear up, making his own sinuses threaten him with the sensation of burning; he didn’t cave, though, just hummed airily as he kissed the soft skin of channie’s nape, his hands running up and down in consoling motions. honestly, he’d thought about that since he was a kid: finally liking being around someone enough that you wanted to marry them, but he’d never anticipated on it being such a _whirlwind_ in his chest, like everything he felt towards channie was more than just mental — it became physical, overtaking the beating of his heart and making everything inside of him feel tight and _good,_ especially when they got to be close like this. it was like home, like he’d always belonged here, holding yuchan against his chest, their breathing syncing up and bodies perfectly slotted together — just like puzzle pieces, cut from the same picture, the sky and the clouds coinciding and becoming one as it settled into dusk. _he never wanted to be apart from him, marriage didn’t even seem like enough._ “i lo-love you, too... _s-s-so much.”_

EPILOGUE

It'd been a couple months since Yuchan's 18th birthday; Sehyoon had gotten a new job as a cleaner at a medical facility shortly after he'd moved in, so they were a lot better able to support themselves now, even allowing them the time to rent a car and drive to Channie's old house to pick up his things, which Yoongi had saved for him in his old room, along with his legal documents. After that, he was able to look for a job of his own, not really finding much luck since it was after the holidays, but around the end of February, he got a call back from a place he recognised—the McDonald's just around the corner.  
Yuchan hadn't seen Kwannie since he'd moved, and although they had texted a few times, they tried to keep their distance from each other just in case anyone who was looking for Channie came to him to ask him questions, but now that he was an adult and had his own ID and everything, he figured that an interview would be a good excuse to go and see him for the first time in a while.  
He'd dyed his hair—well, Sehyoon had—red just like he'd always wanted to, and he'd started doing his own makeup, too, so the day of the interview, he got up early to get ready, finishing his face just as his boyfriend rolled himself out of bed to join him in the bathroom, looking as pretty as ever, even though he'd just woken up. "You didn't forget, did you?" He asked, meeting his eyes in the mirror with a smile, taking up his comb to spritz some hairspray on it so he could style his hair off his forehead. "You've got a half hour to get ready, baby."

sehyoon had been getting sleep better than he’d ever had since channie moved in, and like it was a magical spell brought with the younger upon his return, everything had been falling back into place as it was before — their financial situation wasn’t despairingly amazing as his job didn’t pay too well, but it was comfortable enough for them to pay rent and eat more than just ramen for dinner, but channie still seemed more than eager to have a job. sehyoon didn’t mind, really, though he knew in the back of his mind he would miss him — _that was the least of his worries, though._ with a hand in his hair and foggy vision, sehyoon stepped into the bathroom with a big yawn, yuchan already getting the jump on his morning routine, his red hair shining brilliantly as he styled it off of his head. _he was so pretty, sometimes it was hard to even fathom._ with his heart in his throat, sehyoon grabbed up his toothbrush, shaking his head to reply as he blinked the excess sleep out of his eyes, landing his gaze on his boyfriend.

"Well, I'm glad you slept okay, anyway," Channie told him as he found his pretty eyes in the mirror, taking up his setting spray so he could set his makeup; he hadn't done anything too extravagant since he wasn't all that great at makeup yet, but the two colours he'd swiped on his eyelids seemed to be enough to give his eyes some depth—he knew Sehyoon liked anything he did, anyway. That was really who he did it for. "I'm done, so you can have the bathroom to yourself. I just need to finish making our breakfasts!" He flashed a bright smile and gave Sehyoon's hair a playful ruffle before piling all his stuff back into its bag, shoving that in the side drawer before he took off for the kitchen, where their two jars of overnight oats sat on the counter, waiting to be sprinkled with coconut flakes and fresh blueberries. He'd left them out because they had a tendency to get mushy when kept in the oats overnight, and since he knew that that texture bothered Sehyoon, he always left the fruit out until the last minute—this one was his favourite he'd come up with.  
As he was stirring his own oats, he got a text; taking his phone out, he saw that it was from Byeongkwan, asking how he was and if he had any plans today—right, he forgot that he was going to surprise him by showing up. He sent back a "maybe", then set his phone down so he could eat his breakfast. He was _starving._

it didn't take sehyoon long to brush his teeth and get his hair brushed and out of his face, gathered in the back in a ponytail that stuck out with his split ends -- he knew he should get it cut, but he liked the feeling of yuchan running his fingers through it before bed too much... _yeah, he knew it was cheesy, but..._ he'd showered the night before, so after swiping some fresh deodorant and washing and shaving his face (making sure to use that kind of aftershave channie liked), he was moving onto getting dressed, his boyfriend tending to their batches of overnight oats; the younger had been experimenting with a lot of different recipes, and since they were a lot more comfortable financially, he'd been able to nurture that habit -- that, and he didn't mind being able to eat regularly in the morning, even if it took his stomach some getting used to. after scanning his wardrobe, he picked out something warm, a striped long-sleeve and wide cut pants, and as he was cuffing them up, he looked up at yuchan, asking soft, "c-can you g-g-get me some juice?"

Channie had a bad habit of staring at Sehyoon whenever he would get ready, so his breakfast went uneaten as he watched his boyfriend dress, spoon paused halfway to his mouth and hand gripping his jar a little harder than normal; his frame had gotten a lot thicker now that he was feeding him regularly, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't prefer him at this weight and strength, since he could pick him up...  
_Wait, he'd asked him something._ "Juice? Which one?" He asked as he snapped out of his thoughts, setting his oats down in favour of taking up a cup for the juice, walking over to the fridge and waiting for Sehyoon's response. "Orange, grape, or fruit punch?" 

sehyoon would be a blatant liar if he said he didn't notice yuchan's extremely obvious staring, his fingers tight around his spoon as he paused in eating to lock his gaze on sehyoon as he dressed; it always did manage to fluster him all the way down to his core, his face warm as he replied to channie's innocent sounding imploration, "orange," he said, blinking his wide eyes as he took in the younger, his neatly styled hair swept off of his forehead to show off the soft makeup he'd done -- he looked immensely sweet, pretty in a way that was impossible to describe with just mortal words, and as sehyoon pulled on his socks, he took the short few steps to his bedside table to spritz on some cologne.  
the tension between them had been... noticeable to say the least. ever since yuchan had come back to live with him, they had touched, of course they had, but... it never went past just hands or the occasional oral, and since neither of them had a lot of free time these days, the air had grown _thick_ with every interaction that housed their very obvious want for each other; they slept together, and channie had tried a couple times to initiate something more, but it always ended the same -- they were both too tired, too content with just the feeling of being intertwined after hard days of work and study. that look in yuchan's eyes whenever he stared, though... _sehyoon shouldn't think too hard on it, he'd frustrate himself._

At the answer, Yuchan took the orange juice out of the fridge and set it on the counter next to the cup, twisting the top off, then pouring some out. He'd heard Sehyoon put on cologne, which only proved to frustrate him a bit more, sexually; it was no secret that he liked when his boyfriend wore things like that, but, coupled with the aftershave he'd smelled on him, not to mention the outfit he'd worn... _Ugh, he wanted to have sex with him so badly._  
Hmm... Sehyoon had a short shift today, and Channie had already studied earlier before his shower, so maybe after dinner tonight they could—  
A flash of imagery of Sehyoon red-faced with lilted brows under him as he slid inside him made him jump from the sudden jolt of arousal in his gut, almost causing him to lose his grip on the jug of juice, but thankfully he saved it from dropping to the floor. _'Get a grip, dude!'_ He thought, feeling his cheeks flush under his makeup. "H-here you go, baby," He announced as he shut the fridge, moving the glass to be beside the other's jar of oats. "Hurry and eat, I wanna be early so I can make a good impression!" 

obliging to channie's sentiment, sehyoon strode over to the kitchenette, opting not to say anything about the trembling of the other boy's voice, though it was painfully obvious to both of them; smiling out of the corner of his mouth at their now close vicinity, sehyoon could smell the sweetness of yuchan's body wash and shampoo as he dug a large spoonful of oats into his mouth, fighting the tugging warmth that wanted to flood in his lower half -- he knew he should keep a handle on it, that just giving into his driven, wanton _desire_ to be closer to channie would just make them late, but... that didn't keep his stomach from coiling as he ate, his eyes on his boyfriend as he leaned over the counter, getting more comfortable so he could eat his fill. "i won't b-be l-lo-l _ooong,"_ sehyoon promised, exhaling the breath he'd been holding as he glanced over at yuchan, their eye contact stopping him in his tracks as he bit a little too hard through his blueberry, biting the soft flesh of his cheek -- _ouch,_ maybe he was a bit more pent up than he initially thought. _but he was so stupidly pretty, especially now._ not letting it faze him much, he sipped his juice to ease the sting, "i kn-know you-- you'll d-do well."

The closeness they were sharing in Sehyoon's small kitchen was nice, just as it always was, but with how sexually frustrated he'd been—they'd _both_ been—it was kind of impossible to think of their every interaction as anything besides sexual, especially since he _knew_ how sexually compatible they were. _Why did their lives have to keep them from getting any time to be together?_  
In an attempt to counteract his frustrations, Channie focused his attentions on his breakfast, though Sehyoon's words and sweet voice had him chewing his cheek, a small smile splitting his lips regardless of the warmth he felt in his groin. "Thanks, Sehni," He shovelled another spoonful of oats into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed it before continuing with, "I know I'll do well, and even if I don't get the job, there's always next time, right?"

"mhm," sehyoon affirmed, then let himself fall silent so he could finish his food up, eating as much as he could physically stomach without making himself sick, which given how tense he was, wasn't much -- he didn't fret, though, knowing that he and channie would be able to have a nice dinner tonight, watching movies and finally being _together_ after so many weeks of being busy; even though it shouldn't have, that concept excited him in a way that was almost perverse, and before he let any of his overly desperate thoughts consume him, he took another long swig of his juice as he shoved his food away. "we g-get to have d-di-dinner to-together tonight," sehyoon reminded channie, flicking his dark gaze up towards the younger's own bright one, "for the-- the f-fir-first time this month." _he knew that observation was pretty much just ill-timed flirting, but..._

"I know!" Channie exclaimed with sparkling eyes, bouncing in place as he took Sehyoon's half-eaten breakfast into his hand, putting the lid back on it, along with his own, so he could put it back in the fridge. "I've got it all planned, but it's gonna be a surprise, okay?" He offered a wink, a sly smile lifting the corner of his mouth as he stared at his boyfriend; his outfit was simple, but cute, almost completely hiding the masculine shape of his body with the length of the sleeves and the looseness of his jeans, but it suited him so well it didn't matter. His skin looked really nice today, very supple with a gentle flush, lips seemingly pinker than usual and hair soft-looking and feathert—he _loved_ when he didn't overly style it...  
Before he let himself dwell too long on how it'd just get messed up by his hands later tonight, he turned and crossed the two steps over to the fridge, shoving both of their jars back onto the top shelf. _Why did he have to have the prettiest boyfriend ever?_

sehyoon exhaled a low breath as channie winked at him, his heart skipping a handful of beats at that, their momentary eye contact enough to completely and utterly fry his brain, all of his thoughts preoccupied with his bubbly, bouncy, beautiful boyfriend as he watched him stow the jars of oats in the fridge, his slender frame filling out his well-fitted clothes as if they were made for him -- it didn't even matter what he was wearing, sehyoon would still think the same thing: _he was so perfect._ biting down on his lip to keep his thoughts and eyes from wandering any further, he eyed the clock and caught the time, his tone weak as he said, "i-i'm ex... excited," sehyoon's expression was curled into one that displayed his eagerness to finally be close to yuchan again, though that just made his subconscious want to hyperfixate on if they would be able to finally... _maybe, but oh my god, he hoped so, for sure._ "let's go, o-oh-okay?" he said with a shake of his head to try and clear his mind of any further indecency, a hand urging channie over to the door as he moved to slip on a pair of his shoes: his creepers with the modest platform, his frame folding in half so he could tie them.

Nodding, Yuchan followed suit to put on his black slip-ons, since they were the "dressiest" type of shoes he had; next was a sweater, something light since his dress shirt was long sleeve, and then his wallet from the little dish on the shelf beside the door. He was excited to see Byeongkwan again, anxious about the interview, and horny from watching Sehyoon bend over like he was to tie his shoes—all emotions bombarding him to quicken his heartrate and shallow his breathing, making him feel light-headed. He hoped this went well, and that Sehyoon liked what he had planned for dinner... _what if Kwannie didn't want to see him?_ As if, but then, it had been a long time since they'd last seen each other...  
Shaking his head, he offered a hand to Sehyoon's back and dragged up and down, the action soothing himself more than it was Sehni, probably, but he needed the affection. "You look nice, honey, I didn't get to tell you," He said, getting to the nape of his neck to then thread his fingertips into his hairline— _so soft._ "And you put on that cologne I like, too." He laughed a bit, deciding to tease him a little. "Are you trying to make me horny?"

channie's hand running up his spine had a bodily shiver overtaking sehyoon's entire frame, his jaw clenching and his hands becoming indelicate as tremors overtook his touch that was focused on his laces, and as he straightened himself up only to be asked _that_ had him swallowing down the lump in his throat only for it to be replaced right away — _right, he wasn't being subtle, was he?_ as he lolled his head back into yuchan's fingers that laid on his nape, he shrugged lightly, his own expression hard to place; even just being this close had his insides feeling like they were going to shrivel up and die, his blood hot and entire frame tensing as if he were being shocked — he needed to relax, they had time to be together later, but... that concept just made it _worse._ "i— i wasn't... tr-trying," sehyoon lied. he never wore that cologne except for when he was trying to feel more attractive, even if this time, it was subconscious. “you lo-look nice, t-t- _too,_ ba-baby." he looked away from yuchan as his face started to warm, and with a bashful hand outward, sehyoon laced their fingers so they could start their trek to the mcdonald’s. just this touch was everything he wanted, so much so that his knees felt weak — even after all this time together, he was still a blushing mess around his boyfriend. _embarrassing..._

All Yuchan responded to that with was a laugh, deciding to leave his boyfriend alone for now—they had all the time in the world later to flirt and fuck, he didn't need to make him too embarrassed to leave the house. "Thank you! I made sure to keep it kinda demure, since it _is_ just an interview, but also since I'm seeing Kwannie, I wanted to show off how good I am at my makeup now! He'll be really excited, I know it, and it'll be even better if I can work with him! It'll make up for me not seeing him for so long, I really have missed him, do you think we could have him and Junhee over for dinner sometime? Did I ever tell you that he's still dating that guy Junhee? You know what he looks like, don't you, or have you not gotten to see him yet? He's really handsome, but not as pretty as you, obviously—" 

“junhee?” sehyoon asked gently, his head cocking to the side as he swiped his lanyard of keys off of the hooks near the door, double checking behind him as he swung the door open for them to start to make their way towards the elevator; ever since yuchan had been living with him, he was coming out of his shell that he’d built when he lived with his terrible, abusive family, and at his boyfriend rambling, he smiled out of the corner of his mouth as he tugged him into the confines of the elevator. the mention of byeongkwan did have sehyoon’s stomach feeling like it was bottoming out, though — memories of their encounter flooded his mind, and as he wrapped his fingers around yuchan's palm tighter, he looked up at him with an almost forlorn gaze, “d-do-doesn’t byeo— byeongkwan ha-hate me?” 

Shaking his head, Channie held Sehyoon's hand tight as he was led into the freight elevator, his hand that was holding his swinging back and forth, using the motion as his new way to stim—ever since they'd moved in together, he hadn't needed to wear his jacket every second of the day, only when he was alone. It was... refreshing. "He's just protective, Sehni, he doesn't hate you. Besides, I'm 18 now, he can't say anything!" He said to him, looking at him with a smile, giving their intertwined fingers a squeeze. "You'll get to see Junhee today, they work together a lot, he's really nice from what Kwannie's told me, and funny, too!"  
The elevator dinged, then the doors slid open, revealing the hustle and bustle of the main lobby and entrance; the floor was wet, too, bright yellow signs scattered around along with flat black rugs to catch the water—oh, it was snowing again. _That had Channie so excited he squeaked,_ hopping up and down in place with his hands flapping. 

hearing that eased some of the anxiety sehyoon had by only a small smidge, but before he could truly get lost in his own fear of being faced with byeongkwan again, the elevator was dinging to signal their arrival to the lobby, and at that, yuchan let his touch fall from sehyoon’s side so he could hop up and down in glee — oh, it had snowed more. _he should have worn boots, but if it made channie this excited, he couldn’t bring himself to care if his feet got wet._ “ _sss_ now,” sehyoon said, stepping off of the elevator with a courteous bow to the couple moving to board it, and as he tugged on yuchan’s sleeve, he reminded him, “wa— watch your... y-your step, ch-channie.” 

Yuchan took Sehyoon's words to heart as he grabbed hold of his hand again, making sure he was watching where he was going as they crossed the polished linoleum floor, keeping his head low in a permanent bow until they'd made it outside; he should've worn his boots, his slip-ons were _not_ the choice for this weather, but he hadn't expected it to snow... And so much already, too, damn he was so excited! "It's so pretty, could this day get any better?" He exclaimed, maintaining his glee so that he wouldn't slip, the clouds of his breaths billowing around his head in rapid motions from his overjoyed breathing, right hand shaking back and forth. "Be careful too, Sehni, I don't want you getting hurt before work!" 

it was a lot colder outside than sehyoon had anticipated; if he had known that it was going to be _freezing,_ he would have at least put on a jacket, but the warmth of his boyfriend pressed up against his shoulder was enough to make him wane away from the shivers that wanted to overtake his frame. it was a pretty, clear day outside, the kind that almost made sehyoon want to call off work so he and yuchan could just sit in the park and watch the sky, but he knew better — he had obligations to tend to, after all. they both did. channie’s breathing was fast and as sehyoon glanced over with his squinted gaze, he found himself just getting completely lost in his features, every tiny thing about him imbedding a stake of affection into the wrinkles of his brain; his wide, endlessly bright smile, how his steps springed like he was bouncing on a trampoline, how he stimmed in a way so cute that sehyoon felt like his own breath was choking him up as he watched; he was barely watching where he was going, merely letting yuchan guide him as they walked, his voice small as he muttered, “y-you’re s— you’re so pr-pretty.”  
he hadn’t exactly meant to say it out _loud,_ the warmth of his embarrassment immensely obvious against his winter-pale skin, but he didn’t even _consider_ retracting it — channie was so perfect, he wanted him to know. _he just loved seeing him happy so, so much._

For a moment, Channie was lost in the wonderment of the snowy day, a skip in his step as they neared the first crosswalk at the end of the block; however, upon hearing his boyfriend say something so loving, his gentle, pretty voice matching the world around them, Channie slowed his motions so he could turn his head and meet Sehyoon's gaze. The older male was blushing pink, so obvious on his pale skin, but he would've seen it all the same—he looked embarrassed, and that only made Channie giggle louder. "Such a sap, Sehni!" He tugged him closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling him briefly before pulling away. "Even after all this time, it still makes me happy that you don't find me annoying. I could tell you every day forever, but it still wouldn't be enough to get you to understand what it means to me." 

the kiss pressed to his cheek had sehyoon’s spine tingling, and even though it wasn’t a particularly salacious action, it still jolted warmth towards his groin, just that small contact; with a sheepish smile that merely widened as yuchan pulled away, sehyoon inhaled a deep breath as they started to cross the street, his instincts still leading him to check both ways even if he didn’t have to. “never an-annoying,” sehyoon said loud enough for yuchan to hear, his fingers tightening around his boyfriend’s as he couldn’t keep the blatant, goofy smile off of his face, “y-y-you know i— i l _iiiike_ hearing you.”  
they weren’t far from the restaurant now, though this personal time just spent walking was something sehyoon wanted to grasp and hold onto forever, their easy intimacy where he didn’t even have the chance to feel shy like the best gift he could ever hope for; even though they shouldn’t have, his thoughts wandered in a bit more of a... darker way than they usually would have as he chanced a glance at yuchan’s body, his lip between his teeth as he promptly ripped it away — _he knew sex wasn’t bad, and that they both wanted it, but... he still felt guilty._

Of course, Yuchan had been with Sehyoon long enough to sense when he was looking at him, as well as his energy, and regardless of the fact that he was being cute and their interaction was sweet and genuine, that didn't stop him from feeling the way the other's gaze raked over his frame, or how his aura shifted to be even warmer than usual; he'd noticed that Sehyoon did that a lot when he was overly excited or stimulated, which only had him feeling even better about himself. _How could he be ashamed of himself, when everything he did turned Sehyoon on?_ "I know you do," He shot him a look, letting one of his brows raise, turning his smile into a smirk. "In more ways than one, right, baby?"  
He married that sentiment with a bump of his shoulder into his, turning back to face the sidewalk—he didn't need to see how Sehni would react to that, he already knew. _So cute._

yuchan’s insinuation yanked the air out of sehyoon’s lungs as he fought to keep himself from making a sound, his flush only proving to worsen alongside his breathless, barely there laugh to try and whisk those words away — _was he being that obvious? probably..._ sehyoon kept his mouth shut as he wrapped his arm around yuchan’s own as the pivoted down the street and towards the mcdonald’s, his heart feeling like it was going to stop in his chest and leave him to pass out as his brain zipped with a million things to try and say, but... he opted to just keep channie close, his eyes on the ground as he asked, “i— is it... is it th-that obvious?” 

Instead of answering, Yuchan laughed loud, his head being thrown back and eyes cinching shut, feeling the cold air ache in his lungs from the action; really, he could tease him more, make Sehyoon into a flustered, trembling mess, dick hard and obvious in his pants, but Channie would actually like to make it to and from his appointment _alive,_ so that would have to be enough for now— _even if he wanted to bend Sehyoon over the counter in the McDonald's bathroom, he wanted it to be comfortable and intimate._ "You're so cute!" He told him, eyes fluttering open to look at him, then straight ahead to the bright yellow building on his lefthand side, the distant, distinct smell of greasy burgers beginning to fill his nose, making his stomach pang with hunger. Why'd he have to be so hungry all the time... maybe he could convince Kwannie to buy him something when he came out of his interview. 

being called cute only proved to worsen the twisting of sehyoon’s insides, and if he had any less self control, he would make that known, but instead of saying anything further, sehyoon just scoffed playfully to brush it off, his eyebrows spooned as they approached the mcdonald’s; his anxiety worsened, too, hoping deep down that byeongkwan wasn’t working today, but he knew that was wishful thinking and that he should just own up — _channie was 18 now, their relationship wasn’t wrong. he knew that much._ “n—nervous?” sehyoon asked as he noticed yuchan’s grip becoming tighter, and as he looked over and locked eyes with him, it felt like time stopped — ugh, he wished he could just be done with work and home already, sharing dinner with his favorite person in the whole world... 

"A little, I'm mostly hungry, even though we just had breakfast... I forgot to bring a snack, maybe Kwannie will buy me food, I know we don't have much." Yuchan answered, hearing his tummy grumble a bit more— _not now, ADHD appetite._ "It's okay though, I can wait! But I know you're anxious about being with Kwannie alone, but really, it's okay, Sehni. He's not mean or a bad guy, but if he's an asshole to you, let me know, okay? He'll listen to me."  
He added onto that reassurance with a smile and a kiss of his hand, their matching strides bringing them up to the entrance of the restaurant; the snow was falling a lot more heavily now, which made him a bit nervous about Sehyoon's journey to work, but there was no use worrying now—that wasn't for another hour or so, so hopefully the plows would be out by then... 

sehyoon exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as yuchan said that, his shiver returning to his frame as he nodded, the kiss to the back of his hand helping him to ease into a more pleasant headspace; just scanning over channie’s face as he spoke was helping his breathing to slow and become more methodical, and with his hand being shoved into his pocket, sehyoon procured his phone — he knew that speaking verbally to strangers was nearly impossible... “o-okay,” sehyoon affirmed, urging yuchan by the wrist to step inside the restaurant and out of the cold, the smell of french fries filling his nose with a promptness; as they shuffled inside, it wasn’t too horrifically busy, and behind the counter sehyoon could see... kwannie, hard at work bagging an order. _he felt like he was about to puke._

Once they were inside and out of the cold, Yuchan immediately raced up to the counter and screeched to a halt in front of it, his elated expression twisted with a bright, beaming, smile, hands flat on the counter as he bent over it. "Byeongkwan!!" He greeted, watching as the elder jumped at the sudden sound, eyes wide and shoulders hunched, hand that was holding a boxed burger almost sending it to the floor—he caught it, then quickly shoved it in the bag on the counter.  
"Yuchan?" He questioned, confusion giving way to a smile, entire being lighting up. "Oh my God, what're you doing here?! Your hair is red, and you—are you wearing _makeup?_ Channie!!"  
Laughing much too loud, Channie reached over the counter and enveloped Byeongkwan in a hug, the smaller squeaking out a giggle from being practically picked up—man, it felt so good to see him again! "I've missed you so much!!" He exclaimed. 

byeongkwan seemed just as excited as yuchan at their reuniting, and as sehyoon watched, his own lips curved up into an unwitting smile, the way his boyfriend’s laugh fell from his mouth so loud that it borderline echoed even in the bustling interior of the restaurant making his heart leap and bound; getting closer, sehyoon leaned himself against the metal bars enclosing the waiting queue, his fingers tapping it as he began to fidget, forcing himself to calm down; it would be easy to just duck and leave, but he knew better — channie wanted all of them to be friends, and besides, he didn’t _hate_ byeongkwan. he knew he had good intentions... in a split second, sehyoon caught kwannie’s eyes with his own, a lump forming in his throat and his chest becoming tight, and in that moment, he almost regretted coming — _no, he needed to make channie happy, and he wanted to forgive byeongkwan. he deserved that much._

For a moment, after they'd pulled back, Channie saw Byeongkwan's eyes lock with someone over the counter, making him remember Sehyoon, his right hand reaching up to settle on the side of his face; once he was looking at him, he furrowed his brows and said, "I'm here for an interview, so while I'm gone, be nice to him. I'm 18 now, so you can't say anything. Okay?"  
Kwannie's expression twitched, but he said nothing, merely nodded and held Channie's hand for a moment, letting go of it as he stood back up straight. "Let me go get my manager. I'll be right back."  
A nod, and then he was gone, giving Yuchan the chance to look back at Sehni with a little smile; that was short-lived, though, as the second they'd made eye contact and he'd opened his mouth to say something, they were back, Byeongkwan's boss ending up being a chubby Mexican woman, someone he'd seen around before, but couldn't place the name. "Yuchan, right?" She greeted, hand out to shake, which he did so. "Come around to the employee door, we'll go into my office for the interview, okay?"  
"Yes, ma'am!" Yuchan bounced on his heels, then darted around to the side of the lobby near the bathrooms, seeing the door she was talking about and waiting for it to be opened; it was, then he stepped past the threshold, being led quickly away further into the kitchen and to an office. _He hoped this went well..._

byeongkwan’s expression was... tentative, seemingly unsure of how exactly to feel in this situation, and as he united yuchan with his manager, a short, fairly cute woman that led him back to the employees only door, sehyoon was able to take a deep breath, his free hand clutching his phone at his side as he watched channie eagerly follow. with slow, deep breaths, sehyoon let his own attention settle on byeongkwan once more, a few unsure steps bringing him into the younger boy’s vicinity, his visage bathed in something truly impossible to place — he almost looked hurt, as if sehyoon’s mere _presence_ was an affront to him. _well, that probably wasn’t far off, there was no real good way to explain all of this..._ opening his mouth to speak, sehyoon managed a small “hey”, but opted against speaking verbally completely, his fingers moving on his keyboard to type out, _‘can we talk right now, or should this wait?’_

If Byeongkwan was being honest, talking to Sehyoon right now seemed like the worst possible thing he could ever do, mostly because Channie had told him to be _nice,_ but his curiosity over just why the hell they'd showed up together outweighed all of his disgust for him enough to allow him to nod in agreement. "We can sit down, my shift is over. Give me a minute." He told him; after that, he turned to head over to the register that had the time clock, announcing as he did, "Junhee, I'm clocking out. Join me when you're done!"  
From around the side of the fryers, Junhee peeked around with wet hands, his apron stained dark with water—he'd been washing the dishes. "Ok! I'll be out soon!"  
With that, Kwannie punched out, grabbing his coat and bag off the hook near the employee entrance, jaw clenching repeatedly. _'Don't be an asshole, you can do this, don't be mean to him for Channie's sake.'_

as kwannie projected his voice back behind the counter to junhee, sehyoon was able to catch a glimpse of the aforementioned boyfriend yuchan had told him about, his dark hair styled off of his forehead and expression frazzled, but in the grand scheme, he was _impossibly pretty;_ sehyoon didn’t dwell, though, and as his fingers wrapped tightly around his phone, byeongkwan emerged with his coat and bag, his eyebrows low on his face and making his catlike eyes curve into something malicious, almost. running his tongue along his bottom lip, sehyoon bowed some as they were met face to face, an arm gesturing for them to both sit — _maybe shouldn’t have eaten, his nerves were going wild._  
once sehyoon had led them to take a seat near the back of the dining room, kwannie sat across from him and let his frame sink into the booth, but sehyoon could barely stand to keep himself still, his fingers tapping on the table and his eyes fixed on them as he did so. 

Being off the job and sitting comfortably in a booth had Byeongkwan much less on edge than before, but if just from the way Sehyoon couldn't seem to keep himself still, he knew that the other was feeling the complete opposite— _jeez, it wasn't like he was out to get him, or anything._  
Well. That wasn't completely true, he had threatened to kill him before, but it wasn't like he was actually gonna do it. "You can relax, Sehyoon, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to know why you and Channie showed up here together," He took a fidget spinner out of his bag and began to play with it, eyes fixated on the way it spun and not Sehyoon's pretty eyes: after all, he couldn't deny the fact that he was extremely attractive. Channie must've had some serious game to get someone like him—  
Looking back up at him, he corrected himself: it was the other way around, for sure. 

byeongkwan’s words made sehyoon’s eyebrows raise as he lifted his gaze the smallest bit to catch a glimpse of the younger playing with a little red fidget spinner, the sound of it being drowned out by the beeping behind the counter — thankfully, because that repetitive motion coupled with the sound could become overstimulating, especially right now. shaking his head some, sehyoon offered a bashful smile, although he hadn’t meant it to come off that way — then he moved to type, his foot replacing the tapping of his fingers. _‘me and yuchan are dating’_ , he reluctantly typed, apprehensive at how byeongkwan would react, _’we have been for a couple months.’_

_'we have been for a couple months.'_  
Reading that had Kwannie's teeth gritting and brows lowering on his face even more than they already had been, merely holding his fidget spinner as it spun around, the only part of him that was moving— _they couldn't be serious._ Yuchan had JUST turned 18, so it wasn't as bad, but then, where had he been staying until—  
His eyes went wide and he slammed his toy down onto the table, leaning almost all the way forward as he shoved a finger into Sehyoon's chest. "Don't tell me he was _living_ with you after he ran away. What, did you convince him to come with you because he missed you? What the hell did you do?" 

sehyoon inhaled sharp as kwannie leaned over the table to jab a finger to his chest, his phone almost falling out of his loose fingers as his own expression dropped and brows spooned, his stomach sinking down to his feet; as much as he wanted to just turn a heel and take off from here, sehyoon knew he _shouldn’t,_ and that byeongkwan had every single right to be reacting like this. _he’d almost forgotten yuchan wasn’t even 18 yet when he showed up at his doorstep... ‘he was being abused and came to me. i didn’t do anything. he didn’t want to go back there’,_ sehyoon typed, holding up the phone as he avoided the other’s gaze. 

Kwannie blinked one, twice, then sat back, his expression falling and hand settling flat on the table— _he what?_ "He was... what?" His voice was small, jaw hanging slightly open and brows dipped; Channie hadn't... told him that, in all the short conversations they'd had, all he'd said was that he'd ran away because he couldn't handle being alone. They'd agreed that him moving in with him would be too dangerous, in case they came looking for him, but even then... _why hadn't he said anything?_ "Channie... he never told me that."  
Why did that hurt his feelings a little? They were supposed to be best friends, they told each other everything... 

taking note of how byeongkwan reacted to that with small, chaste glances, sehyoon could tell from how the younger’s tone dipped and his expression painted a distinct wash of forlorn over his face, his frame slouching against the back of the booth as his fidget spinner came to a stop. sehyoon knew that kwannie and yuchan had been texting, but he didn’t know that their conversations had been so immensely chaste, and at that, sehyoon felt his chest get tight — was he hiding it from byeongkwan all this time, even after he turned 18? that didn’t seem fair, but he knew he had his reasons, that he didn’t want to risk getting in trouble or being found... _‘he was scared of having to be sent back home with that family, so he didn’t tell anyone but me. he knew they would come look for him with you, so he’s been living with me since it happened. i’ve been taking care of him.’_

"Was it bad, what they did? Did he get hurt really bad?" Byeongkwan asked him, entirety much softer now that he'd been told all the information he needed; after all this time, the fingers he'd been pointing, it was really all Channie's doing. Sehyoon was clearly way too nice and caring, if the fact that he'd taken in a boy he'd only known for a short time to take care of him, and not only that, be so submissive and guilty over something like dating someone of legal age. _Had their sexual encounter before been Channie's fault, too? Did Sehyoon get roped into all of this because he couldn't say no?_ Kwannie felt his head start to spin at the realisation. "And before you say anything, Sehyoon, I—" He turned up his mouth and reached out a hand, holding the other's shoulder, expression as apologetic as possible. "I'm sorry for being an asshole to you. You didn't deserve that, I'm just really overprotective of Channie. And if he's talking you into anything you don't want to do, just tell me, and I'll discuss it with him, okay? I'm serious." 

the touch kwannie offered to his shoulder had sehyoon jolting, his eyes dragging up to meet the other’s, his tone dripping with sincerity and genuine concern, and in that moment, every single one of sehyoon’s anxieties started to seep out of his brain, his lip trembling as if he might _cry._ a small nod, and then sehyoon was moving his hands over his screen, his heart beating funny in his chest at the recollection of the look on yuchan’s face when he’d showed up on his doorstep, blood trickling down his chin... _no, he’d definitely cry if he thought any harder. ‘they were very controlling and made him take care of young children all by himself. his mother hit him on christmas, and he was bleeding badly.’_ sehyoon showed byeongkwan, and as he did so, watched the sparkles leave his eyes. _‘he’s not making me do anything. i care about him so much.’_ sehyoon contemplated adding in that he _loved_ him, but opted against it, just the admission of how deeply he cared for yuchan tugging at his insides like he was being overtaken by his overwhelming affection. 

Take care of children? Yuchan could barely manage his own chores, and they made an autistic teenager be the caretaker of his adopted siblings? _'No wonder he ran away...'_ Kwannie thought, feeling himself start to tear up, especially after reading that he'd been _hit,_ that he'd been _bleeding;_ it was almost too much, imagining his bright-eyed, bouncy, cheerful best friend crying and injured, overwhelmed by responsibility on Sehyoon's doorstep. To hear that Sehyoon legitimately cared about him, too, had him feeling much better about things—just from the look in his eyes, how emotional this made him, he knew that he was being sincere. "Thank you for taking care of him, especially after all of that," He said, taking his hand back to himself to play with his fidget spinner again, helping to calm himself down. "It couldn't have been easy, since I'm sure you were used to being alone. You..." He chewed his tongue and looked down at the table, hesitating in saying what he wanted to—if he was being honest, he was still wary of Sehyoon, but there was no point in being standoffish. They were together, Channie was an adult, and he couldn't really do anything about it. "You're good for him. I mean it." 

_oh, byeongkwan was almost crying._ sehyoon tried to refrain from making it known just how much that was affecting his own composure, his tongue in his cheek as he fought the cheesy, genuine grin that wanted to overtake his entire expression, and as he blinked his dark eyes up to meet byeongkwan’s honey colored ones, he laughed — it wasn’t out of humor, more out of disbelief, and for a moment, he forgot all about why he was so scared. _just protective... yeah, sehyoon could see that._ he still harbored a bit of resentment towards kwannie for driving him and yuchan apart, but seeing it through his own eyes now, he understood completely, so much so that he couldn’t even begin to grasp at the thread of his pain that had been covered up long ago, buried by channie’s overwhelming (in the best way) love since. “th-th—th _aaank_ you,” he managed, leaving the rest to his phone, _‘he’s good for everyone he meets, i think.’_

_'His voice is adorable.'_ Byeongkwan thought with a small smile, letting himself laugh a bit; without meaning to, he thought about how, if Channie wasn't dating him, he could see himself being with Sehyoon. He was his type after all—  
As if to immediately counteract that, Junhee's pouty voice was intruding on them, his pretty brown eyes shining in the light of the snow outside, slender frame bending over the table to place his hands flat to the top; his black hair had been combed a bit neater now that he was off work, and as he smiled wide, he looked between the two of them, settling on Sehyoon to look him up and down. "Kwannie~ who's your handsome friend?" 

kwannie’s entire face lit up when he smiled in a way that could only be described as painfully cute, and before his thoughts ran in any kind of cohesive line, the aforementioned junhee was appearing at their table, his hands flat as he leaned forward to eye sehyoon with driven intent; his gaze wasn’t cold, it was actually very far from that, warm and glowing brown as he scanned over sehyoon’s body to stop and make eye contact, the suddenness of it making him feel nervous. junhee was amazingly pretty, the kind of handsome that you could only expect to see in a movie or in one of those idol groups, and as sehyoon blinked his glassy eyes, he bowed his head some to greet him. _handsome, huh... he never thought that of himself, but apparently everyone else did._ his hands shook some from the close vicinity of a stranger as he typed, _‘i’m yuchan’s boyfriend sehyoon’._

"Oh, _you're_ the creep guy he told me about— _ow!"_ Junhee's exclamation was cut short by Kwannie elbowing him in the side, the thinner male pouting down at him, but Byeongkwan merely shook his head, scooching over a bit to make room for him to sit.  
"I did _not_ call him a creep, be nice, Junhee!" Kwannie lied—he had, in fact, called him that, but Sehyoon didn't need to know that. He had an image to uphold, after all. "Sehni, this is my boyfriend. He can be a little stupid, but it's a good thing he's pretty."  
Junhee laughed loud, right hand finding Kwannie's on the table to hold it. "You're so funny!" 

sehyoon didn’t dwell on what junhee had said, merely raised an eyebrow as he watched junhee sit next to byeongkwan, their bodies slotting together naturally and like they were two puzzle pieces, their hands interlacing fingers without much thought or effort. sehyoon let his own attention land on the beautiful, raven haired stranger before him, his own throat feeling like it was about to close up, his fingers tightening around his phone as he crossed his legs; he’d never been around so many attractive people before, it was almost overwhelming... _wait, that was probably just because he liked men. oops. ‘nice to meet you’,_ sehyoon showed junhee, smiling some at the two of them laughing together, his heart aching the smallest bit at even just this small amount of time away from channie — he knew that was way too clingy, but… 

"Alright, well, Channie, I think you'll fit in really well here!" The manager lady—Maribel, her name was—held out her hand for Yuchan to shake, the two of them standing now, though she was still behind her desk; the interview had gone pretty well, Channie thought, considering the fact that she thought he was really funny, as well as pretty well knew him, since Kwannie talked about him constantly. He was also here all the time, another reason she was eager to hire him—he'd rambled some, but Maribel didn't seem to mind. According to her, her son was much the same, which led their interaction to be much more comfortable than he'd previously thought it'd be.  
"Uhm, so does that mean I got the job?" Channie asked, shaking his hands back and forth, wide eyes staring at Maribel's cheeks instead of her eyes.  
"Yes, you did!" She said with a laugh, taking her hand back to then write something down on a sticky note. "Here, you can come back Friday for orientation and training. Expect to be here for a couple hours, okay? Bring something to stimulate yourself. See you then!"  
She handed him the note and Channie beamed bright, hopping up and down and squeaking, words barely comprehensible as he thanked her over and over— _he'd really done it, he got the job!_ He was a real adult, he had a job and he could start helping Sehyoon pay rent and buy them nice stuff, _he could get him gifts and take him out for dates and—_  
"I'm glad you're excited, Channie, but I need to get back on the floor, so," Maribel waved a hand, making him nod rapidly before racing out of her office and to the exit, leaving the kitchen behind in favour of the lobby; he saw Sehyoon and Kwannie sitting at a booth by a window, Junhee also there, all of them smiling and laughing. That was so exciting!! "Sehni!" He called, so overjoyed his voice cracked, fingers clutching the paper in his hand so tight he heard it crumple. "Sehni Sehni!" 

junhee and byeongkwan had roped each other into a conversation of their own, sehyoon slipping in and out of it to laugh and be asked surface level questions, but before long, sehyoon’s attention was being yanked away from the boys in front of him and diverted directly towards channie’s belting of his name, his voice so high pitched and squeaky that he could barely sound out the word. with a wide grin and a stumbling of his heartbeat, sehyoon got to his feet to hold out hands towards yuchan, not caring if he looked too clingy or cheesy; his boyfriend was beaming, his expression radiating even more warmth and excitement than usual, which probably meant... “y-yo-you did it— it?” sehyoon asked, his own visage twisting to match the younger’s as his hands met his slender shoulders, every single one of his nerves on edge with his mirroring excitement and happiness, especially at feeling how channie was practically vibrating from his own euphoria. _he was so perfect like this, he wanted to cry._

The hug Sehyoon had pulled him into the second he saw him was more than welcome, Channie squeezing the life out of him before pulling away, hopping up and down as he gripped his boyfriend's shoulders tight— _he looked just as excited as him, it validated him so much._ "Yes!! I come—come back in a couple days, she gave me this note, a-and I get to do orientation and I get my own uniform, she thought I was funny and her son has ADHD like me so she didn't even care that I was rambling! She's really nice she said that Kwannie talks about me all the time and her mom was an orphan too so she could relate to me and she liked that I was energetic and she even gave me this little fidget cube 'cause I didn't have your hand to hold to stim so it was a really good interview!! She wants me to work with her so I'll be here every morning! Maybe we can go on a date when I get my first paycheck Sehni, wouldn't that be so fun?!"  
Channie didn't even care how loud he was being, all he knew was that he had a job and Sehyoon was happy for him, it was so amazing to be around people that loved him; Kwannie, too, seemed really happy, he was smiling wide and giving him a thumbs up, Junhee beside him resting his head on his shoulder and beaming right along with him. _Wow, was this what having a real family was like?_

yuchan’s rambling excitement just added to sehyoon’s smile, the corners of it tugging at his eyes to bring crinkles in the recesses as he offered a hand to his boyfriend’s shining red hair, mumbling a soft, “yeah,” sehyoon could hardly bring himself to care that the rest of the occupants of the dining room were staring at them with judgmental eyes; he was so proud of channie in this moment, and it was obvious that junhee and kwannie were, too — _he hoped that they could all be close like this now, with no ill will._ before sehyoon could let himself get lost in his fondness, he was glancing at his phone for the time and nudging yuchan with an elbow, saying, “w-w—work soon.” 

Yuchan had to force himself to shut up when he saw Sehyoon looking at the clock on his phone, informing him of the unfortunate timing; pouting a bit, he frowned and hugged him, nestling up close to his neck to give it a kiss. "Aww, already, baby?" He whined, squeezing him hard, sighing a bit at the closeness—even though his interview hadn't been that long, he'd missed him _so much,_ more than he'd thought. "You should get going then... Dinner will be ready for you when you get home, okay?"  
He smelled nice... ugh, why couldn't he be home from work and having eaten their dinner so they could fuck? Channie felt a bundle of impatience burn in his stomach, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. They had to wait, sadly... 

humming low as channie pulled him into a hug, sehyoon muffled the whine that wanted to slip out of his throat at the contact of the younger's plush lips pressing up against his nape, his arms wrapping around his smaller frame to bid him goodbye; he only needed to work for a few hours today, which is why he didn't have to wear his uniform, which he was endlessly thankful for -- even just this small amount of contact was enough to make sehyoon flustered and hot under the collar, and if kwannie and junhee weren't watching, he might have tried to swindle a few more kisses from yuchan before he left. "love y-you," sehyoon mumbled as he pulled away, pecking a sweet kiss to his boyfriend's cheek, careful not to mess up his makeup; then he was turning on his heel to leave as he waved goodbye, his breath stuck in his throat being exhaled in a billow into the cold winter air, his stomach tense and his lower half tingling with heat -- he knew he was a pervert, getting turned on from just that small amount of contact, and he felt even moreso as he dwelled on the time they would spend together tonight, _alone._

Unfortunately, with Kwannie and Junhee here, Yuchan didn't get to smooch the life out of Sehyoon just to make him flustered before he had to leave for work—that was okay, he'd have all the time in the world when he got home. Once he'd finished watching leave, he turned and sat down, letting out a wistful sigh as he did, seeing Kwannie looking at him with a teasing expression; he cocked his head to the side and asked, fingers drumming on the table, "What?"  
Wait, Junhee was _also_ looking at him like that... Did he do something wrong? "Why are you both looking at me like that?"  
"Nothing, it's just—" Kwannie smiled, shrugging a bit before leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand, Junhee moving with him with an arm slung around his shoulders—it was like they were glued together. _So cute._ "You guys are adorable together. Already saying 'I love you', too? You need to update me on everything, Channie!"  
Giggling loud, Channie felt his face warm with bashfulness at the compliment, his hands coming up to cup his own cheeks, bouncing slightly in his booth seat. "Of course! And you need to tell me about you and Junhee, too! I wanna know everything, it's been too long since I've seen you!"  
"Are you hungry, Channie? We haven't eaten yet, and I know you're probably hungry, since Kwannie says you eat a lot," Junhee asked, moving to get out of the booth. "Kwannie, food? It's on me, baby."  
Yuchan's eyes lit up and he squeaked— _fast food, it'd been so long!_ "Yes! I want two cheeseburgers and a large Sprite, and fries! Large fries! With barbecue sauce!"  
"Same for me~" Kwannie said, smiling at Junhee before he looked back down at Channie, his entire expression soft and loving. "But really, I've missed you, Channie. You're never going that long without talking to or seeing me, got it?"  
Nodding, Channie stuck out his lip and leaned over the table, taking one of Kwannie's hands into both of his own, holding them tight and sniffling mostly in pretend. "I missed you too, Kwannie. We can hang out however long you want today, okay? Sehyoon gets home at four, so that's when I have to go make dinner!"  
"Such a housewife," Kwannie joked, and they both laughed, holding hands as they sat there—outside, it was still snowing, making this all feel that much more perfect.  
_Life was finally back to normal, it felt like._  
__ 

work was never as stressful as it had been when sehyoon worked at his old job, and before he knew it, it was already time to clock out, his body aching only the smallest bit and his stomach growling low in a call for food; even through his mundane duties, he had a small semblance of a smile on his face even behind his facemask, something that had become remarkably commonplace ever since he and channie had been together -- cheesy, he knew, but that seemed to be a buzzword in his personality these days. the bus ride home was quick, even though his frame was rife with shivers from his lack of adequate overwear; he'd had time to stop on his way home to blow his last ten dollars on some flowers for yuchan at the gas station down the block from his apartment -- he picked out one of the ones with a tiny teddy bear wrapped around the stems in a hug, and as he made his way through the main lobby with his armful of crinkling cellophane and thoroughly wetted clothes and hair, he could physically feel his insides twist into knots at the mere _idea_ of being able to see channie again, even if they had been together this morning... he wondered what he was going to make for dinner. _he hoped he didn't over-extend himself._  
digging in his pocket with a free hand after he'd stepped out of the elevator, sehyoon conjured his key to his-- well, now it was _their_ \-- apartment, unlocking it and swinging the door open to be met with a thick, warm smell of food cooking, his expression lighting up all that much more. 

The dinner that Channie had planned was something he'd never made before, but knew he was capable of making with relative ease: sweet and sour pork noodles with broccoli and carrots. He'd also made Junhee buy him a small bottle of soju, something cheap but good to go with their food—after all, it was their first real dinner together in weeks. He wanted this to be special, regardless of the lack of occasion; though, now that he thought about it, his motions of dumping the chopped pork into the pan with the mostly cooked vegetables coming to a stop, he didn't know if Sehyoon had ever drank before, or if he even _liked_ to. Channie hadn't, either, but he'd smelled and tasted a bit of it when he brought it home and it was pretty okay, so hopefully Sehni liked it, too.  
Just as the pork was getting to be done, he heard the click of the door lock being twisted, looking over to see the door swing open, revealing his boyfriend looking rather wet and somewhat tired from work; regardless, he had the brightest smile on his face, which only lit up even more when he made eye contact with him. "Hey, you're just in time, baby!" Channie exclaimed, his entire frame shooting upright with excitement. "Dinner's almost done, go get cleaned up!"  
He gave the meat and veggies a stir, then dumped the sauce in, turning the heat down after he did so it wouldn't burn—he'd learned his mistake the last time he tried to make stir-fry. No need to ruin their dinner, especially when Sehni looked so hungry. 

the entire apartment was filled with the aromatics of something sehyoon couldn't place, and as he locked eyes with his boyfriend, his expression lilted and he felt like he was about to melt at how yuchan looked bent over the stove, his attention locked on the food he was making; he knew he'd seen him cook before, but that didn't stop him from practically falling in love with him all over again every single time. "i-- i got y-you some-some-something," he said as he undid the outer wrapper of the cellophane as he slipped his wet shoes off near the door, taking a few steps over to channie as he examined the flowers, making sure they didn't get ruined, "fl-flowers..." sehyoon shook his head free of his wet hair, determining that it would probably be best if he just took a quick shower in the end. _it would be better that way too, if they ended up... touching._

Channie hadn't been looking when he heard Sehyoon say that and heard him walk up to him, so when he lifted his gaze from stirring the food to find his sightline overwhelmed with a beautifully wrapped, though small bouquet of flowers with a little teddy bear holding them all together, it was all he could do not to straight collapse against the hot stove. "F... for me?" He managed to say, brows lilted upwards and jaw slack, left hand slowly reaching up to take them from Sehyoon; he met his eyes and felt himself flush deeply, for once completely speechless, even though this definitely wasn't the first time he'd bought him flowers—on his birthday, it'd been expected. Today, though... it was just a normal Wednesday, regardless of the fact that it was technically a date night. _He didn't know what to do, he felt so stupidly in love he wanted to cry._ He continued to stare at him, bottom lip beginning to quiver, fingers curling tighter around the bouquet to make the cellophane crinkle. He wanted to kiss him, but for some reason, he found himself transfixed by his black eyes and the spatterings of stars in them, his own reflection clear, as though he himself was the universe that was held there.  
_Honestly, he didn't doubt it._

yuchan looked absolutely awestruck, his eyebrows spooned and eyes locked in sehyoon's own as he took the flowers into his arms, his fingers that were wrapped around them crinkling the cellophane, the sound loud between their silence; the younger looked completely and utterly speechless, like he didn't know what to react with -- a smile, a laugh, a thank you -- everything was lost on his expression, and that only furthered the stake of affection inside of sehyoon's chest as he let his own grin slip over his lips, his fingers wriggling at his sides as he fought the urge to bring his boyfriend against his chest and kiss him senseless. _his expression like this was so cute, he couldn't believe it._ "what? sehyoon asked gently, holding his arms out so he could take the flowers back into his own grasp, turning at the heel so he could grab a vase from the cabinet over the fridge, "d-do-don't cry. yo-you all-- already are _mmm_ aking me din-dinner, so i..." 

Sehyoon speaking, as well as moving to grab a vase to put the flowers in, broke Yuchan out of his spell, giving the food a quick stir before setting his spoon down, crossing the one step to wrap Sehyoon's back in a tight hug; he buried his face in his shoulder and sniffled, nuzzling his neck mostly to wipe his tears away—he didn't need to be crying over this, but the action was so thoughtful that he just... "You're such a sweetheart, I l-love you so much Sehni, thank you so much, I love flowers I can't believe you thought to get me something like this, I wasn't even expecting it, they're so pretty—"  
He sniffled harder and let out a little whimpering sob, digging his fingers deeper into the wet fabric of Sehyoon's shirt; oh, he was cold, he must want to go take a hot shower. But he didn't want to stop hugging him...

sehyoon wheezed some as yuchan wrapped his arms _tight_ around his midsection, his nose nuzzling against his wet nape and shirt, his voice leaking out in soft, barely-there whimpers and sobs, and as he absorbed the sentimental drove that his boyfriend had just spouted, his own heart lurched behind his ribcage, sehyoon letting his weight loosen as he nuzzled against channie's overwhelming embrace. "you-- you're wel-welcome, b-ba-baby," he muttered, reluctant to break the romantic vicinity, but he knew that yuchan needed to tend to the food and he _desperately_ needed to take a shower -- he was _freezing._ "h-hug me af-after-- after i shower, oh-okay?" he offered as he broke free to fill the vase with water and prop the flowers inside of it on the kitchen island, his expression full of his affection as he admired them, his tongue swiping over his lips as he shot yuchan another glance, leaning in close to peck him in his hair. "be r-right back."

It was a good thing that Sehyoon broke the affection first, because Yuchan definitely never would have—he loved hugging him too much. "Hurry up, okay? I miss you!" He called after him, watching him go for only a moment before turning back to his food, quickly shutting off the heat as he stirred the food with his other hand—good thing, too, because it was done, and if he hadn't, it would've burned.  
He took his left hand and grabbed up the pot of noodles that had been cooked already, dumping them into the sauce, then stirring it all together, pleased with the ratio of it—good, he'd been worried he made too many. After that, he took down two plates and set them both up with some, making sure Sehyoon got more of the pork than he did, just because he loved him; once that was done, he set the food on the bar, along with the bottle of soju and two small glasses with ice, getting everything set up do he could wash the dishes—he didn't want to have to do _anything_ after they ate besides fuck. He was going to make sure of that.

with a small "mhm", sehyoon was throwing the cellophane in the trash and departing to the bathroom, his wet clothes being stripped off of his body before he was even fully inside, the door being cracked so some of the steam could be let out; he didn't need to wholly shower, but since his hair was wet, he might as well... the hot water was immensely welcomed over his shivering frame, and as he went about his normal routine, sehyoon's mind couldn't help but wander; he hadn't _meant _for his thoughts to end up revolving around just what he and yuchan would get up to tonight, because it was painfully obvious on both ends just how pent up they'd been -- neither of them had anything to do tonight or tomorrow, so it would be a perfect opportunity to finally...  
see, sehyoon and channie weren't strangers to touching each other intimately, and it was obvious that it could have always gone further when they had, and in the back of his mind, sehyoon hoped that this time they would be able to actually... have sex. _would yuchan want to be on top?_ that prospect made him shudder as his wide eyes blinking soap out of them from his carelessness, and before he could let himself get wholly riled up, he was finishing up and stepping out of the shower with a chill to dry himself, keeping all of the lewd thoughts that wanted to flood his brain at bay with only minor difficulty. _dinner was first. he could be calm at dinner, no matter how frustrated he was._ as sehyoon wrapped the towel around his waist, he combed through his hair and did his skincare, only stepping out to get dressed when he collected all of his shreds and was ready to face his boyfriend again -- _seeing him cook like this, though... it didn't help his racing thoughts._ __

Not too surprisingly, Sehyoon was in and out of the shower fairly quickly, since he'd showered the day before and didn't really need to; Channie was finishing up the dishes as his boyfriend got dressed into something comfortable, his own clothes having been protected by the apron Sehni had bought him for his birthday, so once he was all done, he took it off and hung it back up on the hook, walking around to sit on a bar stool, halfway turned to continue watching him. _So pretty, even like this, wearing nothing but some pajamas..._ He hadn't put his aftershave back on, but that didn't bother him, his bodywash, cologne, and deodorant all smelled so good anyway that, if he _had,_ he might've just pounced on him right then and there—didn't stop his thoughts from wandering there, though. "It's sweet and sour pork, I hope you like it," He told him, if anything just to keep himself grounded, eyes dragging up and down Sehni's frame. "Junhee bought us soju, too, but I didn't get to ask you if you like to drink... sorry." 

channie was never one for subtlety, especially when he wanted something, so sehyoon wasn't off-put by his boyfriend raking his eyes over his frame as he pulled on his pajamas, spraying only a couple spritzes of cologne on his neck, wrists, and behind his knee before yuchan was speaking to him, his words shaking some at the ends -- _hmm..._ "s-soun-sounds good," sehyoon affirmed, shaking his head to get his hair out of his face, his heart leaping as he got closer, inhaling deeply the scent of the food; it looked _really_ good, and as he pulled himself up into the stool next to yuchan, he smiled soft and said, "on-only once, but i-i-- i'm not... against it."  
locking his own dark gaze with yuchan's caramel colored one had him biting down _hard_ on his lip before he picked up his chopsticks to start to stir around his noodles, the steam warming his already tepid skin even further -- _noodles... so sweet that channie remembered how much he liked them._ with a few cursory blows before he took a bite, sehyoon took a moment to truly absorb the flavor of it before he hummed, his countenance lighting up at the taste. _oh, it was really, really good._ a nod, then a shake of his head at it being slightly too hot still, sehyoon tapped the counter to display his excitement, swallowing it down to say, "s-so-so good, chan--channie!" 

Sehyoon's immediate reaction to the food had Yuchan smiling wide and doing a little bounce on his stool, finally allowing himself to dig into his own serving—he'd wanted to wait, just in case Sehyoon didn't like it. "I know you like sweet things and noodles, so I figured this would be perfect for you! I'm glad I got it right!"  
Obviously, he'd seen Sehyoon's little bite of his lip at their vicinity, but since he was doing his best not to get overly riled up before they ate, he kept his eyes and his hands to himself, merely scarfing down a few chopstick-fuls of food after getting all-clear. Once he'd chewed and swallowed, he asked, tone sugar-sweet, "How was work today, baby? I'm sorry you had to walk in the rain, I thought about bringing you a jacket but I didn't have enough change for the round-trip. I didn't know when you'd be home so I couldn't draw you a bath, either, but I guess a hot dinner makes up for it, right?"  
He smiled at him and sipped some of his soju, the bitter taste making him scowl at first, but the longer it sat on his tongue, the less it offended him. _Definitely not a good mix with the food, though... whoops._

sehyoon was spacing out some because he was _starving,_ but yuchan's sugary tone filled his ears as he ate in such a way that it was as if he could physically feel the caress it offered his brain, loving and affectionate with each syllable; shaking his head the smallest bit at the sentiment, sehyoon reached forward to grab a napkin out of the pile next to to the sink, offering one to channie as he spoke, "don't w-worry, di-dinner is p-per-perfect," if he was being honest, it was _more_ than perfect, the quality of the food only a small portion of it; really, he was so painfully ecstatic to be back home, warm and next to his favorite person in the world, their intimacy sweet and just the thing he'd been craving ever since he started to work again — it was about so much more than the food, it was all about _yuchan._ "wo-work was b-boring... i was th-think-think— thinking about you all d-day." 

_'Thinking about... me?'_  
Channie felt slightly bashful at that, his brows dipping and gut churning a bit with tepid warmth, chopsticks clicking together repeatedly as he fought not to play into it—surely, Sehyoon didn't mean it that way. He was just eager to get home and see him, that was all. "How cute," He said with a simper, swirling more food into his utensils, warm, wet eyes meeting Sehni's, their interaction feeling remarkably intimate in this instance... "I was thinking about you too, Sehni, I was really excited to see the look on your face when you smelled what I'd made. And I... just wanted to be with you. I miss you so much when you're not here."  
He ate his food, halfway just so he wouldn't get caught up in their matching gazes, as he was already feeling his dick start to get hard just looking at the way Sehni's wet hair was slicked back— _why did he have to have such a handsome boyfriend?_

channie’s warm, almost too much so, sentiment had sehyoon feeling his cheeks start to flush as he continued to eat, the painful hunger pangs now subsiding into less agonizing, dully there churns, and with a long exhale out of his nose, he set down his chopsticks to take up the glass of soju, smelling it some before taking a sip. _eugh,_ it wasn’t amazing with the food, but as he took another drink, he decided it wasn’t too bad — just not exactly his thing. with his breaths heavy and his chest fluttering, sehyoon laughed lightly at yuchan’s overwhelming words, he rested his head in his hand as his free fingers tapped the glass, saying on a breath, “at l _eee_ ast we— we get to b-be together all n-night t-to-tonight,” he flicked his eyes up to scan over yuchan’s frame, that tugging inside of his stomach only proving to worsen, his boyfriend’s nervously stiff frame still so shapely and pretty, even under his comfortable clothes — it had him seeing white around the edges of his vision as his thigh twitched. _yeah, he was horrifically pent up._ “t-to make up f-for... lost time.” 

That almost made Channie choke on his food, but he managed to cover it up pretty well, merely forcing his bite down to then help it along with his soju; surely, Sehyoon wasn't trying to _flirt_ with him, right..? That couldn't be it, because if it was, he didn't think he could handle it, not with how ridiculously sexually frustrated he was. _And he could feel him looking at him, too, dammit..._ "We'd better make good use of it, too, since I'm going to be working now," He said, hearing the slight tremble in his voice and hating it— _'Get a grip, dude, come on.'_ "We should make a list of all the things we wanna do today and tomorrow, so we don't forget anything!" 

after a few more bites, sehyoon decided that he shouldn’t have much more, his plate almost entirely gone at this point, but he didn’t want to risk a tummy ache; at his words, yuchan seemed to tense even _more,_ his voice shaking at the ends as he spoke, and without exactly finding time to have a filter, sehyoon asked, “a li-list?” he cocked his head, then took another small sip of his soju, his lids low at the small amount of tingling it brought to his frame, only further worsening the mounting warmth in his gut. he knew he shouldn’t tease channie, and that they should just let dinner go without incident, but... he was just _so cute,_ and as sehyoon crossed his legs over one another, he smiled coyly, “well... wh-what _did_ you w-want to... to do?” 

Channie had finished off his food at this point, but when he saw that Sehyoon had finished eating, but without eating all of it, he figured he could eat that, too—he _was_ still hungry, after all. "Uhm, paint, go for a walk so we can take pictures and draw," He said, deftly avoiding Sehyoon's lowered gaze, the obvious effect—however little, it was still obvious to him—the soju was having on him making his gut coil some more. He kept it demure, sipped his alcohol and ate his food, continuing on in a sweeter tone, "I've been wanting cookies, so we could bake some, too. Make some music, I know I've been slacking on my guitar lessons, and I miss your pretty voice, too, Sehni. I want us to sing together!"  
At this point, he was able to give him a smile, a slight buzzing under his skin from the soju turning his vision pink and hazy, thighs wiggling and heart skipping beats, as though egging him on in getting Sehyoon in bed—almost done, just need to rinse the dishes off, then... 

in the moment, sehyoon felt remarkably perverse for trying to edge something darker like that into the conversation, yuchan’s rambling obvious evidence that he had other things in mind by that invitation that _weren’t_ sex; though, sehyoon would have felt more guilty if he didn’t pick up on how channie’s lower half was fidgeting in an unfamiliar way, a lot like the way it did when he was in bed in the mornings with a hard-on, his pleading eyes blinking up at sehyoon to take care of it — _oh, maybe he shouldn’t think about that, he’d make himself blush._ “i— i’ll write i-it down,” he promised, watching as yuchan shoveled the last of his own food into his mouth, taking his time to chew; sehyoon’s own breaths were shallow as his heart beat harder from the alcohol, and if he had any less self control, he would have tried to pester his boyfriend further, but he left it with a breathy laugh and his words slipping past his lips as stable as they could have, “wh-what about t-to-tonight? a movie?” 

Instead of answering that, Yuchan laughed lightly and hopped down from his seat, taking up the dishes to then walk them around to the sink; he avoided looking at him, instead merely washing the dishes, settling them into the strainer before reaching over the sink to close up the soju and put it away. "Turn some music on," He said, a slight lilt to his tone that almost gave away his intentions, a little wriggle in his hips as he reached up to set it on a shelf, a sort of attempt to show off the tightness of his shorts, since he hadn't wanted to wear jeans while cooking. Looking over his shoulder, he added on, chest tight and knees going just a little weak, "Whatever you want, you know I'll love it." 

sehyoon had completely forgotten the question he asked as he watched yuchan clean up their dinner mess and close up the soju, a small, barely there swaying of his hips showing off the lithe curves of his lower half in such a way that made him bite the inside of his cheek, one of his hands balling a fistful of fabric from his t-shirt to keep himself calm. he didn't even _try_ to make eye contact, he knew that would be way too much... his phone was on the bedside table to charge, so with a hop down off of the stool, he was striding over towards it to turn on the little bluetooth speaker and play something random — he just shuffled his spotify, the soft sound of guitar spilling into the room to change the air slightly, sehyoon's thoughts racing in circles as he let his weight sink down onto the bed; he knew better than to try and chance something if channie wasn't interested, but... his tone and how he was showing off his body were impossible to ignore, and with his voice louder than usual so his boyfriend could hear it, he said, "th-thank you a-ah-again for— for the food, baby..."  
_ugh, he wanted to ask for sex so badly, but he couldn't bring himself to._

Giggling, Channie wandered over to Sehyoon in a sashay, his lashes fluttering and head lolling to the side, letting his lust take over his frame and expression just enough to ensure that his boyfriend knew what he was planning—though, it'd be hotter if he _didn't._ "Anything for you," He told him, looking the elder's frame up and down, admiring his body under his clothes just from the way he was reclining; he crawled onto the bed, then got between Sehyoon's legs, resituating himself to be straddling him, right hand dragging its fingers up his torso to settle on his shoulder, the other sliding through his damp hair. His smile was coy, but the heat in his eyes was definitely obvious, especially when he got to fully drown in Sehyoon's own to meld their consciousnesses together— _Sehyoon wanted this, so badly._ "You're tense," He said softly, brushing their noses together, smile cracking even wider. "Let's help each other relax, huh, baby?" 

the only thing sehyoon could manage when yuchan was climbing on top of him like _that_ was a sharp inhale and the widening of his eyes, his hands hovering over the younger boy's hips as if he were afraid to touch him, maybe in fear of hurting him or ruining this, he didn't know; those words made him shudder bodily, his throat choking out a whine as channie nuzzled against his nose, their eyes locked in one another's as he did so — he looked so beautiful from this angle, almost impossibly so, and underneath the weight of his boyfriend on top of him, sehyoon could feel his dick twitch and throb, the heat zipping all the way down his legs. _channie wasn't trying to... was he?_ "b-by d-do-doing wh— what?" sehyoon asked lamely, but he knew in the back of his mind what yuchan wanted — either that, or he was misreading this _terribly_ wrong, but he doubted it. the pent up lust that had coiled a tight knot inside of his stomach was slowly unraveling as he finally planted his hands on the other's hips, sliding his palms up and down as his expression turned winsome, every square inch of his body burning hot and like he was about to faint. 

A light laugh, Channie gripping the handful of hair he had right as he said, _"I think you know."_  
With that, he smooshed their lips together in a hard, overwhelming kiss, the contact insane in how it sent shivers all up and down his spine, burning in his stomach to turn his dick into a second heart with its throbbing; he whined and kissed him deeper, tilting his head, then bringing his right hand down again so that he could push his shirt up, touching over the soft skin and feeling himself shiver from the sensation—how could any one person be so _perfect?_ He wanted more, _needed_ more, wanted to make Sehyoon into a pathetic, moaning mess, but he _knew_ he needed to take this slow for his sake; Channie was the one that knew the most about this, and although Sehyoon had a basic grasp, they'd both never actually fucked before, so it'd be a learning experience for both of them. He wanted this to be _memorable,_ in every possible positive way it could be.  
_But fuck, was he desperate to rail him into the mattress._

that made sehyoon _writhe,_ his eyes rolling back behind his eyelids as yuchan tugged on his hair and pulled him into a desperate, hungry kiss, every single one of his thoughts that weren’t _this_ crumbling up and fading away, the fingers he had on the younger’s hips gripping the fabric that lied there _tight_ as he pressed back; it’d been a while since they kissed like this and even longer since they had touched, so when channie’s own fingertips traced over the flesh of his abdomen, sehyoon felt like everything in the world was stopping — honestly, he didn’t doubt it, not with how _all-consuming_ their contact was. whimpering underneath channie’s kiss, sehyoon’s heart thumped in his chest alongside his limbs, his body riding the dopamine high from just this, his hips wriggling back and forth to adjust yuchan a little better so he wasn’t pressing _directly_ on his already half-hard dick — it was fruitless, though, and in the moment he pulled away from the kiss, he looked up at his boyfriend with every single tepid, hedonistic emotion he was capable of, his chest rising and falling with his breaths, “channie...” he whispered, not exactly sure why; then he clawed his nails into the other boy’s sides, his eyebrows dipping up to paint his countenance with the very definition of _pathetic._

Channie hummed almost teasingly at Sehyoon's reaction to this, though he couldn't even say anything, since he was feeling very much the same; huffing a trembling breath, he chewed his lip, then kissed his lips briefly before trailing his lips down his jaw to his neck, licking a wet line from the underside to his ear, nibbling just hard enough to feel him jolt— _fuck_ that made his cock pulsate, but he didn't want to do anything about it just yet. "Be as loud as you want," He whispered, scratching slowly down his chest to the waistband of his pajama pants, hooking two fingers under it, but going no further. He parted his lips, then latched them to Sehyoon's neck in a suckle, using his teeth to gently give him a hickey—as desperate as he was, he didn't want to _hurt_ him. The feeling of doing so made him moan a little, hips rocking back and forth and fingers that were under his waistband tugging just slightly, as if to insinuate more, but he did nothing besides tease. _This was frustrating him, too, but... he wanted to see if he could get Sehni to beg._  
And if he did? What then? Channie didn't know if he could handle it... 

being bitten, even just that very small amount, had sehyoon’s throat feeling dry as his lips hung open to allow him to moan, his head being tipped back as channie left a trail of kisses and a gentle, mindful love bite on the sensitive flesh, the sensation enough to have his head feel fuzzy; yuchan had given him a hickey before, but right now, with how stupidly _frustrated_ he was, and coupled with how the other was rolling his hips and teasing the finality of yanking his pants down, sehyoon could only whine on the ends of his breaths, his head thrown back so channie had full access to his neck — even just kisses there were like burning, making his hands tremble and his breathing stop in his throat. slowly, sehyoon blinked his eyes open to look up at yuchan once he’d drawn back, and in that moment, he lost every shred of conscious shame. he wanted him too badly to hide it, had been having dreams about him every single night they would lay together intertwined, and he wanted so desperately for channie to hold him down and _force_ him to take his—  
“d-don’t... don’t t _eee_ ase me...” 

Sehyoon pulling away was completely unexpected, but before Channie could say anything, his boyfriend's voice was leaking out so unrestrained and desperate, begging him just like he wanted him to— _God, he was so perfect like this, all flushed and twitching._ Nodding quickly, Channie hopped off the bed to get the lube out of the side table, managing to say past his trembling breathing, "T-take your clothes off."  
Sliding the drawer open, he rustled around until he found the little bottle of lube hidden in the back, holding onto it as he shucked his own clothes off, just the brush of stimulation of fabric over his dick making him breathe out a groan; he was so _horny,_ this entire situation making him lightheaded and weak, body so hot and teeming with static that he felt like he'd _die_ if they stayed apart—all the more reason to hurry up.  
Now naked, he got back onto the bed and popped the cap of the lube, squirting a little bit out onto his fingers before looking up at Sehyoon, his lower half tight and burning just thinking of what he'd feel like inside... 

the second yuchan separated them with that command, sehyoon was propping himself up on his elbows to start to take off his shirt and inch down his pajama pants and boxers, his skin still mildly warm from his shower — either that, or this contact was making him borderline _feverish,_ his vision hazy as he fought not to focus on the heat. the cold air bit his skin as he watched channie undress, too, his amazingly perfect frame proportioned like a painting, as if his pretty, honey-colored skin wasn’t even _real_ but a mere figment of his imagination; before sehyoon could say anything, yuchan was between his legs and was popping the cap to the little bottle of lube, his boyfriend’s dick already just as painfully hard as his own, the visual making sehyoon squeak — _so channie wanted to be on top... oh my god, it felt like he was going to pass out._ “i...” sehyoon started, splaying his hips out further to spread his legs, his eyebrows spooned and face flushed a deep crimson as he turned away, his chest fighting to keep even the smallest amount of air in his lungs, “y-you w-wa— want to be in-inside..?” he _knew_ that was a stupid thing to ask, that he’d been desperately dreaming that this moment would finally come, but now that it was, he had a small bit of apprehension and self-consciousness biting at the edges of his brain. 

"Well, you don't know what to do, really," Channie told him, smiling soft to take the edge off that statement, even though it wasn't a bad thing. "That, and I want to be on top. I've been dreaming of it since I first learned how this worked."  
Admitting that was kind of embarrassing, but he couldn't find it in him to care right now, not in this instance; he set the lube aside, then pushed a bit on Sehyoon's chest to get him to lay down, pointing to the pillow that'd been pushed off to the side. "Put that under you, too, so you're comfortable."  
Seeing him like this, all splayed out and wanton, flushed and slightly damp from anticipation-wrought sweat, cock aching hard and slightly leaking, had Channie's brain frying in his skull, no matter how hard he tried to focus so he wouldn't hurt him— _he could do this, he just needed to calm down a little._ With his lubeless hand, he spread Sehni's legs more and propped them up, holding his left thigh while he brought his left down between them; with one finger, he pressed in very, _very,_ slowly, saying on a breath, "Relax, baby." 

sehyoon bit down rough on his tongue at yuchan’s words, his heart lurching against his rib cage as he forced himself to calm down, obliging in taking the pillow to prop himself up; from this angle, looking down his own torso and down at channie between his legs, he had to _fight_ to keep his composure — his boyfriend’s expression was washed over with something completely foreign, hungry and so telling of his pent up frustration, and with a cooing of his voice to urge him to calm down, sehyoon nodded soft and helped cock his thigh back. at first, it didn’t feel like much, but as yuchan slid further inside, the strange pressure had him gasping, his free hand moving up so he could bite down on his thumb to sort out the sensation wracking his frame; it was nothing like how he anticipated it, tingling in a strange way that he couldn’t decipher as good or bad, and as channie kept going, that feeling only intensified in waves of tepid warmth over his skin, his voice leaking out in small, choked pleas as he cinched his eyes shut — it didn’t hurt, that wasn’t it, just... being connected like this, even if it was just yuchan’s hand, had every single nerve inside of him fizzling out and dying at the intimacy, his aching dick pulsing where it laid upon his navel. he could hardly even _begin_ to fathom what having channie inside of him would feel like... he tried not to let himself sink into that, it was already hard enough to keep himself quiet with just this. 

Just from the way Sehyoon was reacting, Yuchan could tell that he was doing a good job, his index finger already all the way inside to his knuckle; there was no squeeze or clench or any substantial kind, so he figured he could add his second one, pulling out enough to do so. His middle finger joined his first, this action adding more of a stretch, but he made sure to go slower, groaning through his teeth at the way Sehyoon's insides eagerly accepted the intrusion—it was so _hot,_ the lube adding a slickness that made him bite down on his tongue. He wanted to moan louder, finger him at a deeper, more mind-melting pace to get the both of them off, but he knew that that would be too much for right now. The slow, even thrusts to work him open would have to do, even if it had his cock leaking even more precum to slick the underside of his cock. "You're doing good, you're so loose already," He said sweetly, beginning to scissor a little. "God, so _warm,_ you'll feel so good around me." 

a pitiful mewl was sehyoon’s response, the addition of yuchan’s second finger stretching him in a way that could only be described as _intoxicating,_ the lewd squelching sound filling the air along with their labored breaths; channie seemed to be enjoying doing this too, if his low, lust-filled moans were anything to go by, and as sehyoon propped himself up the smallest bit, he caught his boyfriend’s eyes with his own, his lip between his teeth and face flush as he said, “it— it _fff_ eels good,” his voice was shaking at the ends and was pitched up so much so that it barely even sounded like himself, but the slow, welcome pleasure that began to wrack his body was making every single one of his thoughts foggy and wistful; yuchan looked amazing, his gaze focused and pace slow as he worked him open, and with each thrust inside, sehyoon found himself gasping and wanting _more_ — the mindfulness was nice, but he wanted _channie,_ he wanted his perfect boyfriend to make more of those sexy sounds, to use his body to get off and make himself feel good... _he could barely even think straight._ “it’s okay to to b-be-be more...”  
he didn’t want to say _rough,_ but... 

Sehyoon was taking this extremely well, so Channie decided to listen to his plea and picked up the pace of his motions, scissoring wider and changing up the angle; he knew where the prostate was supposed to be, but had never touched it on anyone besides himself—that was okay, since he knew Sehyoon wouldn't say anything about it if he wasn't exactly precise. Huffing a little, he warned, blown pupils staring deep into his boyfriend's own bottomless blacks, "It'll feel even better when I do this."  
And with that, he flicked his fingers upwards and grazed right over his swollen prostate, feeling his insides convulse and clench down around the two digits enough to make his brows furrow and vision shake, shoulders tense from the hedonism boiling at the base of his spine. _Fuck, he just wanted to pound him into the bed, they were so close._

“wh—“ sehyoon _tried_ to muster words, but everything right down to his breaths got cut short as yuchan curled his fingers up and slid past his sweet spot, the sensation so overwhelming that he could merely _groan,_ his guts swallowing more of channie’s fingers as he kept the motion up; oh my god, it felt so _good,_ sehyoon didn’t even know something could even come _close_ to feeling like this — his dick visibly twitched as he gripped the soft fabric of the comforter on the bed, head buried in his own shoulder as he fought the writhing in his frame. with a heaving chest, sehyoon spread his legs even wider, pulling his thigh back against his abdomen so yuchan could get a better angle to do _that,_ his voice small when he whimpered, “f-fu- _fff_ uck, channie—“ he was _never_ one to curse, but this seemingly endless pleasure was enough for his brain to just melt in his skull and spill out of his ears, a free hand moving to muffle himself when he realized what he’d said; he’s heard that word a _lot_ in porn, but... he never thought he’d be the one to spout it, but right now, just this contact felt like heaven, he couldn’t even begin to _imagine_ what it would feel like when yuchan was inside... _ugh, his insides felt like burning at that._

Oh God, Sehyoon did _not_ just—  
That bodily, _insane_ reaction that Sehyoon gave to him grazing his prostate was all that Channie could take, especially with the way his voice arched and trembled at the edges of his words, an actual _swear_ rolling off his tongue like they were in a porn video; Channie growled and yanked his hand out, the both of them trembling where he held them in the air, stumbling over the bottle of lube as he tried to pop the cap again. "I can't take it anymore, y-you feel too good, Sehni," He wheezed, managing to get it open and some poured out onto his fingers again, closing the bottle to then toss it over his shoulder. Watching the other, he coated himself in the neutral, viscous liquid, stroking over the head mostly to ensure that the initial penetration didn't drag or hurt—he had condoms, too, which were a leftover from when he lived with his adoptive family, but they were alone. He didn't need to hide the fact that they were having sex. "This might h-hurt, okay? I'm... bigger than just my fingers," He scooched closer and pushed one of Sehyoon's legs back, left hand holding his dick in place, tip pressed right to his twitching entrance. _This was a lot, he didn't even think he could handle fucking him for very long, but... as long as Sehyoon came, he didn't care._ "Uh-uhm..." He murmured, slowly nudging forward, focus hyperfixated on what he was doing.  
And then the final motion, the head of himself sliding straight in with little resistance, and all he could do was _whimper._

the loss of stimulation from yuchan yanking his fingers out was cold and like suffocating with lead in his lungs, his head being thrown back as he hissed through his teeth, the hand he had clutching the sheets loosening only to tighten again as he managed to lift his head back to watch channie slick himself up with more lube, the visual making his flush only worsen and his mouth feel dry — he’d seen him naked before, of course he had, but... it wasn’t a secret that yuchan was _big,_ and in a situation like this, it only further tightened the coil inside of sehyoon’s stomach. “oh—okay,” he replied, blinking his wide eyes as he watched channie line himself up with his hole, and before he could even _think_ to say anything else, the other was slipping inside of him with a noticeable, though not unpleasant stretch, sehyoon’s voice being chopped up by a sharp inhale at the feeling — it wasn’t much, not yet, but with how yuchan’s fingers felt inside of him, he _knew_ that he wanted more. with a rocking of his hips, sehyoon wrapped a thigh around channie’s waist to pull him in closer, sliding almost his entire length inside with absolutely no drag, the feeling so... _filling_ — it stung only at the ends of it, but the knowledge of them finally being together like this and the way his boyfriend’s expression twisted up in his own pleasure drowned it out to a dull simmer in no time, his blood hot as his insides twitched around the girth inside of him. “so— so _big,_ i—“ sehyoon’s frame went slack and his hair splayed out in every which way on his pillow, his eyes sliding shut to curb his dizziness. 

Yuchan sneered when Sehyoon yanked him closer with a leg wrapped around his hip, his heel digging into the top of his ass to make him fall forward; his cock was buried inside his ass, almost straight to his balls, feeling his lover squeeze down on him to drive him _insane_ —this was so much, just the singular thrust enough to make his eyes roll back and arms shake where they supported him on either side of Sehyoon's shoulders. _"Uhhn—"_ He grunted through his teeth, eyes cinched shut and brows spooned, every part of his willpower focused on dampening the lust that sat heavy in his gut, just this threatening to push him over the edge. Sehyoon wasn't helping in his words, either, not with the way his honey-sweet, arduous tone was filling his ears like cotton. "F-feels so—g- _good,_ baby."  
Exhaling harsh, he managed to sit back and start to actually move, grip finding the backs of Sehyoon's knees and eyes the middle of where they connected, hoping that maybe watching would help in staving off his orgasm—he could feel it throbbing in his balls, but he was nowhere near ready to come yet, not with how good it felt. 

it was obvious by the sounds yuchan was making that this felt just as good for him, too, and as he sat back and started to _actually_ fuck him, sehyoon swore to god that he was losing himself, the slow drag of the cock working his insides open painstakingly tantalizing in ways he could never imagine; his body was searing hot and his jaw was slack to allow his breathy moans to slip past his lips, the zipping tingles from where they connected boring holes into his brain as the thing, if he had the chance to choose, he would want to feel _forever._ with a long exhale, sehyoon blinked up at channie sweetly, one of his arms covering his mouth and the other reaching out to claw into his boyfriend's thigh, he felt any pain that tried to rise to the surface from the pace slip away, a lot of his energy being spent keeping himself relaxed, to not squeeze the life out of yuchan; this position had him feeling particularly lewd and exposed, and on a moaning breath as the other slipped himself all the way inside, sehyoon dug his nails even further, saying "it do-doesn't h-hurt, so m- _mmm_ ake yourself fe-feel good, okay?" 

"If—" Yuchan tried to say, groaning low, fluttering his gaze up to look at Sehyoon, "If y-you... say so."  
He locked his eyes with the other's and picked up his pace even further, sitting up straighter, then leaning forward to bend Sehyoon's lower half against his chest almost completely, that angle affording him the ability to perfectly fuck into his prostate without any effort; that only made Sehyoon writhe harder, watching as his thighs twitched and chest heaved, feeling his insides ripple and suck him in. Channie panted and bit down on his lip, his every breath married with mewls and keens as they blew past his parted lips; his lower body was searing with ardour, balls tense and abdominal muscles flexing over and over, accentuating the shocks of pleasure that bolted throughout his veins. _Felt so ridiculously good, he couldn't even begin to comprehend it_ —his thrusts were sloppy, but Sehyoon didn't seem to care in the slightest. _Thank God._

yuchan bending him in half and then fucking into him even _harder_ had sehyoon gritting his teeth as he fought to adjust to the pace, the tip of the other’s cock sliding past that spot from earlier, the hand he had covering his mouth moving up to grip a fistful of his own mess of damp black, desperately trying to sort out the sensation; he could feel the mounting pleasure all the way inside of him and up to his stomach, his swollen dick throbbing as it leaked even more precum against his navel — he would have been embarrassed if he had the headspace, but the way channie’s voice sounded just like he was singing when he moaned was like a spell he couldn’t break free of. the feeling of it all was _massively_ different than the times they’d touched prior, the pleasure this wrought out of his nerves deep-seated and _intense,_ and with a trembling lip and his stomach tensing, he could tell it was starting to build and build — though it was hard to pin and yuchan’s thrusts were arrhythmic, his entire body was twitching and even just the small friction of the head of his cock against his stomach was starting to drive him _insane._ “i think— i th-think i’m cl-close...” sehyoon whined, his own nails digging into his scalp as channie started to catch _just_ the right angle, his eyes going wide and back arching as he whimpered out another moan, asking in chopped up breaths, “c-c-can i t-touch— touch my-myself, _please?”_

_Oh, Sehyoon was going to orgasm already?_  
Channie shook his head as he maintained his angle _right_ into that spot that had Sehni whimpering; instead of letting him do it himself, he brought his own hand down to jerk him off, rubbing his palm all over the head, catching the precum that had beaded there to slicken the motions. Sehyoon's insides just _squeezed_ the life out of him even more at the added friction, sending Channie's consciousness into a spiral from which he could never even hope to come back from, his eyes rolling into his skull and shuddering voice filling the air— _God, he was gonna lose it, he was so close._ Fire travelled all under his skin and lit every single nerve ending with ice-hot pleasure, his spine teeming with something he couldn't place, but turned his insides on their heads regardless. _"S-Seh—"_ He gasped, but then shut himself up with a grit of his teeth, fighting off the impending orgasm as best he could, but he, he couldn't— 

usually, sehyoon had a little bit more composure when he was getting off, being able to at least keep his voice to himself even just a _little,_ but with how channie was slamming into him just _right_ and stroking his cock like he knew exactly _how_ was making every single shred of self-preservation slip away, the building heat in his lower half like the most insane drug, flipping his thoughts on their head as he let his arms fall to his sides, too lost in the pleasure to even try and exert any kind of energy; his moans were practically squeaks, nothing more than pressure on his airless lungs as yuchan folded him further in half, and as the younger kept a pace on his leaking cock that matched _perfectly_ with his thrusts inside, sehyoon swore that he’d never felt anything so amazing in his life, not _ever._ “fff—“ sehyoon almost cursed again, but he was cut short by the abrupt, metaphorical yanking of his groin pulling him right to the edge of his orgasm, his whines stopping to just become quick, focused breaths as he played into it, ripping his eyes open to make contact with yuchan above him; wow, he was so beautiful when he was feeling good, his red hair sticking to his forehead with sweat and his eyes dark with his lust, the fingers he had digging into sehyoon’s thighs digging the tips in as the movement of his hips became fervent the closer he got — _how did he get so lucky? and how was he supposed to control himself when he knew this was how channie felt inside of him?_  
_“ahh—”_ he balanced on the edge for a moment as he kept eye contact with yuchan, but with one particular grazing of fingers over the slit of his cock, his teeth were being grit down _hard_ as he clenched his jaw, his vision going completely dark as he cinched his eyes shut; it was like fainting, like everything was coming to a complete end but in a strange way, a beginning — he whimpered like a little bitch as channie fucked him through it, his fingers still jerking him off until sehyoon pushed him away with a scrambling hand. the pooling warmth overtook his frame as he felt his cum spill out of him and onto his stomach and chest, his insides convulsing _tight_ around channie inside of him, making his thrusts all that much more arrhythmic; his dick pulsed _hard_ as the peak wore down, though his entire body was still tense and twitching, fingers gripping the bedsheet and toes curling as he fought to even _breathe._ the pleasure washed over his skin in waves that never seemed to slow, his hyper-sensitive insides and still-hard dick being beacons of just how pent up he’d been, and without being able to stop it, his eyes were burning and starting to well with tears — _why did he have the urge to cry?_

If Yuchan had any sense left in his brain, he'd have said something snarky about the way Sehyoon looked when he came, so overwhelmed in frame and hedonistic in voice, or maybe that he looked like he was a pornstar, but the _second_ he felt his insides convulse around him like they were _made_ to touch every sensitive part of his cock, he was joining his boyfriend on that metaphorical, intense edge, careening off of it to cry out _loudly_ into the cool air of their apartment; he clawed at Sehyoon's flesh so hard he was scared he'd ripped shreds off, his head being thrown back and spine curving in an arch, burying himself fully inside of him to ride out his orgasm that still had let up. Every single cell in his body was dying all at once, just to be remade to experience the wonderful, nearly _painful_ climax all over again; his dick was pumping cum deep into Sehyoon's guts, splurting out more with each aftershock as they wracked his frame, zipping up and out to each limb, all the way to the tips of his toes and fingers to render his whole body numb. _He felt like crying it was so overstimulating,_ but in a _good_ way, and as he sat back on his haunches with a sniffle, his overheated, yet still hard cock stinging in the chill of their living space, he looked up to see that Sehyoon was feeling much the same— _or maybe it was bad and he was crying because of it?_ "A-are you oh—okay?" He asked, heaving his breaths to try and catch it, rubbing soothing lines up and down the other male's thighs. "You're crying, did I hurt you?"  
_Not that he was one to talk, since he was crying, too..._

channie moaned _so loud_ when he came, so much so that it almost echoed in the small confines of their apartment, the pretty sound worming its way into sehyoon’s ears to undoubtedly be a part of his thoughts forever; the warm, seeping thickness of cum inside of him was enough to make his brows spoon at how badly it turned him on, his still pent up frame trembling as channie pulled out of him, his lust still connecting the tip of his cock with sehyoon’s fucked-open insides — _ugh, it was so stupidly intoxicating._ with deep breaths, sehyoon sniffled back the tears that were welling in his eyes, wiping them away with the fabric of his pillowcase with another sniffle, shaking his head, “no, i-i’m...” sehyoon said, his voice barely audible and hoarse from his moaning, “it felt s-so goo-good it’s _mmm_ aking me c-cr— cry...” 

"Oh, okay," Channie said with a weak smile, moving away from Sehyoon to sit on the edge of the bed; he was still really horny, and he could tell that Sehyoon still was, too, just from the fact that his dick was hard after coming—but, would he want to go again, or was that asking too much..? "Uhm..." He began, rubbing his palms up and down the tops of his thighs, skin still burning to the touch and sticky with sweat, heart pounding a bruise into his ribcage. "Are... do you want to keep going? I'm... I'm still hard."  
He turned at the waist and looked him up and down, brows dipping from how gorgeous his boyfriend looked after sex—blushing, coated in cum and sweat, hole fucked loose and shiny with lube and cum. _He felt so perverse thinking that, but... it wasn't a lie._ "And it looks like you wanna go again, too." 

that insinuation has sehyoon almost choking on the spit in his throat as he wiped the last of his tears away, his lips curling into a strange almost sneer — _huh,_ he was still hard, wasn’t he..? he shouldn’t have, but that made him feel remarkably embarrassed, only lessened by the fact that yuchan was in the same situation, his body looking intensely spent whilst his eyes still held that familiar hunger, and as sehyoon pushed himself up to be propped up on his elbows, he asked, “again..?” his face was warm as he thought about it, and the longer he left his eyes rake over his boyfriend’s frame, the more his insatiable lust started to creep up over his own mind again — with a deft hand, sehyoon leaned over close to yuchan, running fingers up and down the exposed skin of his spine, blinking his wide eyes as his brain forced a concept into his brain: would channie want to be on bottom too..? sehyoon bit his tongue at that, and as he moved up to be sitting, he gripped the sheet once more to ease his embarrassment in asking, “can i... b-be on t-top?” 

That question _shouldn't_ have surprised Channie, especially not when Sehyoon had such intense, lustful eyes dragging over his body as though fucking him mentally, but it flustered him all the same, his bottom lip being sucked between his teeth and vision going white once more. "Are you sure?" He asked, even though he was already moving to accommodate him, pushing him back down onto the bed and straddling his waist, Sehni's hard, impossibly warm length saddled right underneath his own— _ugh,_ even just that had his shoulders stiffening and eyelids drooping. "I-I uhm... I was touching myself earlier, s-so..." He picked up the lube and pressed it to his chest, too embarrassed to look at him directly. "So you don't... have to worry about stretching me." 

sehyoon exhaled a low, shaking breath as yuchan moved to straddle his thighs, both of their slickened cocks sliding against one another in a way that had him feeling feverish; even more so, though, were the words channie mumbled out as he did so, admitting with a bashful countenance that he had been _touching_ himself — that concept had sehyoon’s heart fumbling in its beating as he rested a hand to the younger boy’s hip, his overstimulated dick aching at just this contact. _he couldn’t believe he managed to get a boyfriend this pretty._ “so,” sehyoon started, taking the lube into his own hands and examining for a moment before he ran his tongue along his bottom lip, “i can— can j-just...” he popped the cap open with his thumb so he could slick himself some, yuchan’s eyes on him as he did so feeling like _burning,_ the other boy’s slender, curvaceous frame looking even moreso from this angle with how his hips splayed out on either side of sehyoon’s own, and with a deep breath and a harder grip on yuchan’s hips to lift him up, he urged, “li-like this?” just the slow, dragging friction of the head of his cock even close to channie’s entrance had him losing his cool, not to mention this position and how eager the younger seemed to be — _would he even be able to last longer than a second inside of him?_ he doubted that. 

It was like dying, seeing Sehyoon so unsure of himself as he slicked his cock and clawed into his hips, his gaze steady on him and breaths ragged; Channie did his best to relax, but he was so overcome with arousal that it was dripping from his pores like sweat. He chewed his tongue and nodded slow, helping in getting him inside by arching his butt, reaching behind himself to guide it to his entrance. "You... you might wanna..." He wheezed, keeping their eyes in each other's, if just to drown in the romance of being able to become one again. "It's o-okay if y-you come fast."  
He lowered his hips down onto Sehyoon, and the stretch was almost _too much,_ burning in the best way possible and filling him completely with just the head of him; he groaned and dropped his head forward, left hand scratching Sehyoon's skin under his nails to almost draw blood— _fuck,_ it was _fucking insane._

out of all of things that sehyoon could have expected it to feel like, channie’s insides were so much better than any of them by absolute fucking eons, searing hot and already loose enough for him to slide in with no resistance behind it, just the mind-numbing pleasure that had his overly-sensitive cock throbbing hard with his heartbeats; sehyoon hadn’t meant to, but just feeling the head of him enveloped in such a sinful pleasure had him rocking his hips up as he yanked channie down, forcing a few more inches inside with no warning, his own body jolting and eyes going wide — _fuck, that felt so fucking good, oh my god._ sehyoon couldn’t get _entirely_ lost in it, not when yuchan squeaked and _writhed_ like that, and with a shaking breath, he asked, “di-did i h-hur-hurt you?” sneering his lips, sehyoon dug his nails into the flesh of channie’s ass, trying _so hard_ to sort out the mind-numbing feeling and keep his hips still no matter how badly he wanted to fuck his boyfriend open — _he wanted that more than anything, but it wasn’t worth the other’s pain._

Sehyoon rolling his hips up into him was _surprising_ more than it was painful, though that wasn't to say it didn't hurt, splitting Channie's guts open and making his thighs tremble, his eyes snapping open wide and upper body curling in on itself; he whimpered and raised his hips, sliding Sehyoon's cock out part of the way, then dropping back down, taking even more of him than before, but still not his entire length—after all, his boyfriend was _huge._ "S-so _big,"_ He cooed, letting his eyelids flutter shut and fingers release their grip. "Feels _good,_ it's okay, I d-don't care— _nnh_ —if it hurts."  
The pleasure was acute as Sehni's length dragged entirely over his prostate, milking precum out of his own dick and spiking sharp luridity all up his insides from the source; he'd never felt _anything_ like this before, even when he'd fucked himself with his fingers or a toy, and already he could tell that he was going to come— _so fucking embarrassing, he'd just slipped inside and he was going to come, what the fuck._

even just the one long, slow drag of channies insides over sehyoon’s cock was enough to have him forgetting how to breathe, how to think, how to _exist,_ and at that salacious affirmation of his boyfriend’s words, his expression dropped and turned completely pitiful, his dark eyes locked on yuchan as he raised and lowered his hips to start to fuck himself; he wasn’t completely balls deep yet, he doubted that the younger could even take all of his length like that, but even just this was enough to have sehyoon a moaning, whimpering mess, his hands falling from channie’s hips to slide up the sides of his body, admiring every inch of his perfect, caramel colored skin. the way his expression curled up as sehyoon started to roll his hips in time with yuchan’s own motions was like a wash of ecstasy over his sweet, boyish features, his eyebrows spooned and his pretty pink lips parted to breathe out adorable squeaking moans, and if sehyoon hadn’t been so stupidly in love with him before, this would have been the imagery to make him do so — not to mention the sinfully amazing way channie’s insides swallowed his cock and rippled around it, the zipping heat it wracked his frame with making sehyoon choke out, “i l-lo-love you.” 

Channie was so lost in the sensation of fucking himself on Sehyoon that, at first, he didn't even hear or understand what he said, his spinning head and trembling, overwrought frame bouncing arrhythmically on him in _just_ the right way to make his heart stop and balls pulsate; he managed to blink his eyes open and focus them on Sehyoon, though, and when he did, he registered the words he'd spoken and mewled, sliding his palms further up his stomach to rest on his lower chest, "I love—love you, too, Sehn-ni,"  
The change in angle knocked the other's cock fucking _directly_ into his prostate and he gasped, hips stuttering on the way down and legs almost giving out; as a result, he fell to be entirely seated on him, burying every fucking inch of his boiling hot length in his guts, filling him _so much_ and stretching his insides like he was a _whore_ to the point that, if just for a second, his vision cut out and his brain screeched to a halt in his skull. _He was going to fucking lose it, oh God, he was going to come—_  
He quickly reached down and began to stroke his dick rapidly, pumping just the first couple inches and cinching his eyes shut, moaning thick and throaty from his chest. Electric fire zapped his nerves, riding his circulatory system to spread the agonising lust this was causing to every part of his body, even down to what felt like his _atoms—just a second longer, pleasepleasepleaseplease—_

the mere _second_ yuchan responded with an affirmation sehyoon felt himself want to cry all over again, the younger curving his spine and taking his entire length inside, the whimper that sehyoon let slip out of his throat the most pitiful sound he’d ever made. not even sure if he was _capable_ of recreating it; he could tell that channie was close, his own desperate touch migrating down to wrap around his own dick to jerk it, the imagery implanting itself in sehyoon’s brain as the _prettiest_ thing he’d ever seen, and with his clawing hands, he gripped yuchan’s hips to bring him closer to his chest, holding him against his abdomen so he could buck his hips up into him. the newfound angle had channie absolutely _writhing,_ and as sehyoon rested their foreheads together, his own orgasm started to creep up around him, his thighs twitching with each rough thrust inside; he knew that his boyfriend would come first, and as a result, he pressed channie down against his stomach flat so his aching dick would catch stimulation between them. everywhere their skin touched was like _burning,_ sehyoon’s conscious thoughts disintegrating to be nothing but how his boyfriend felt around and atop him, and as he fucked him harder, he felt something inside of him _snap_ — he swore he could get addicted to this, he wanted nothing more than to make an absolute fucking mess of yuchan, to make him _cry_ with how good it felt— “c-come on, b-ba-baby, you can—“ _ugh, he was just as close, he could barely speak._

God, the new angle Sehyoon had tugged him into was _immaculate,_ exactly what he needed to come, and as Channie writhed and clawed at Sehyoon's shoulders, the friction became too much; he cried out sugar-sweet and feminine, not as loud as his earlier orgasm, but still so painstakingly despairing and wonderful, riding the high of the hedonistic ripples that echoed up and down his spine. It was _so much_ more intense than before, but in a way that he couldn't even make a sound, constricting his throat just like his insides were doing around Sehyoon's cock inside him. _It felt like he was ascending, the pleasure as though given to him by a god_ —and, in some ways, that was correct. _"Ahha,"_ He breathed, burying his contorted countenance in the crook of Sehyoon's neck, wet mouth dragging over the salty skin there. _"Fuck, oh my G-God."_

_wow,_ yuchan’s moans were so painstakingly beautiful like this, choked up and like he couldn’t even _fathom_ the pleasure that was overtaking his ever nerve; the sticky warmth of his cum on sehyoon’s stomach has him exhaling a shuddering breath as his own thrusts became messy and out of time, his arms wrapped _tight_ around channie’s frame to hold him still as he fucked his spent insides _deep,_ his orgasm building at the base of his spine and edging him to make him into a breathless moaning _mess. “channie—”_ sehyoon groaned, his voice deep and gravely as one last slamming of his hips made him _lose_ it, his head being thrown back into the pillow and his nails digging long, dragging divots into the flesh of his boyfriend’s back as his orgasm rolled over him in waves, crashing over his body and mind in equal parts as he whined through grit teeth, his cock buried balls deep in channie’s guts pulsing and throbbing as it spilled cum all the way to his _stomach;_ rolling his hips through it, he felt dizzy, like there wasn’t anything left to keep him grounded, every part of him drowning in the sickening pleasure as each second passed — he was shaking to his core, channie’s face buried in the crook of his neck exhaling small, loving sounds as he slowed his hips to a complete stop. slowly, he began to be able to _move,_ his hands that had been scratching yuchan’s back to hell caressing the wounds with a softness, his throat dry as he said, “s-so-sorry...” 

Yuchan knew for sure this time that he was satisfied, but that didn't stop the feeling of Sehyoon's cum spilling into his fucking _stomach_ from being the most incredible sensation ever, making his breaths cut short and brows dip; he mewled and nuzzled his neck, bringing his arms up to wrap around and hug it after he'd shoved his hands underneath him— _wow, he couldn't believe they'd gone that long without actually having sex, he could get addicted to how good it felt._ Even the stinging from Sehyoon's scratches didn't hurt, since they came from him. "You don't... have to apologise," He told him softly, only a little out of breath. "It doesn't hurt. I like it."  
He kissed his cheek and jaw, then sat back to smile at him directly, flushed expression matching his boyfriend's own fucked-out one, the way his eyelids drooped languidly over his black irises and hair cascaded over his forehead and pillow so absolutely breathtaking that Channie almost couldn't believe it; he beamed and let out a little sigh, lifting his hips so that he'd slide out of him before he cuddle closer and squeaked, a little giggle in his voice, "You look so pretty right now, I can't believe how lucky I am to have you!" 

even though sehyoon’s entire brain was rendered into mush, yuchan’s sweet, arduous words drove a stake deep in his heart with the ease of thousand degree knife, and with a tight grasp, sehyoon tugged yuchan even closer with a hum, his buzzing excitement bubbling up in his throat in that familiar, stereotypically ‘autistic’ way. “y-you’re just a-as p-pre— pretty, you _shhh_ ould have seen yo-yourself...” he mumbled against channie’s ear, the contact of their clammy bodies not bothering him in the slightest; his stomach was teeming with butterflies as they laid there, the aftershocks of his orgasm making him feel _high._ “so— you’re s-so warm.” 

"Hehe, you're warm, too," Yuchan whispered, so full of glee from their intimacy that he felt as though he could fly, entire body lighter than air and head in the clouds—being with Sehyoon was just like that, though. Regardless of what they were doing, it was always the happiest moment of his life; he told him as much when he kissed his ear, left hand ghosting up the side of his face to find his hair, slipping a few locks through his fingers to admire the softness. "You make me so happy, every time I'm with you I get this tightness in my chest, like I'm so excited I could burst," He hummed a laugh and kissed his neck, trailing his lips past his barely-stubbled jaw to his cheek, then down to his lips, grazing them before sitting up once more, staring into his glittering eyes. "I love you so much, Sehyoon." 

that sickening sweetness in his words, coupled with the way that yuchan looked down at him as he sat back were enough to have sehyoon smiling so hard he could barely even _see,_ his spine still tingling and heart feeling like it was about to beat right out of his chest; he dragged his hands up and down channie's sides, his eyelids blinking slow as he admired him. he was so, _so_ perfect, everything about his entirety being everything sehyoon adored, and for a moment, he forgot all about any kind of stress or pain -- just this, their intimacy and contact was it. this was his world, and he knew that he never, ever wanted to let it go.  
"i l-lo-love you too, ch-channie." 


End file.
